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[piecewise]

Does society seem boring, dull, unimaginative and perhaps even nightmarishly conformist?

Do you ever feel as though the universe is one big, sick joke?

Is everyone around you Cabbage?

Can you see the Fnords?

YOU ARE NOT ALONE

unless you are

Greetings fellow mutants, rebels, vagabonds,activists,ragamuffins and neerdowells and welcome to your initiation into discordianism and Operation mindfuck. Soon you too will know the pleasures of raping your own mind and wallow in the knowledge that everything is true.

Even things which are false are true

What the hell are you talking about?

I'm talking about chaos, I'm talking about discord, I'm talking about the end of civilized monotony and the beginning of a glorious decent into madness. I'm talking about taking joy in the bewildered enlightenment of others, about manipulating the minds of others by changing their environment and about killing time in the most brutal way possible. Or maybe I'm just talking out of my ass, hard to tell.

What do you mean "Chaos"?

Chaos has many meanings but in this case it means the primal disordered nothing from which any and everything may spring; an existence which contains within itself all possibility.All original thought springs from this chaos and as such all the works of man are inherently spawned from this one source. Eris is the goddess of chaos and the goddess of all creation, her will be done.Unfortunately there are those who would seek to impede the works of holy chaos and bring about order; order, being the opposite of chaos, would bring the destruction of all original thought and the end of humanity as we know it. In order to preserve the the universe from degeneration discordians seek to spread chaos and cultivate freedom of thought.

But who's creating order?

You are, you bastard, along with everyone else around you still following your cultural norms. Normalcy is stagnation, safe but boring and eventually fatal to the unfortunate fish swimming in that stagnant sewer of thought. Right now there are robots and cabbages all around you but you can't tell; you've adopted their mannerisms as your own and you can no longer tell the difference between what you feel and what they want you to feel. 

But what can I do then?

RISE UP! or lie down, or hop around on one leg slapping your buttocks, just do something, anything, to break through the oppressive social norms which you erect around yourself. Lie on the ground in the middle of the subway, wear a chicken outfit to KFC, bring ham to a passover diner, and dance like no one's watching when everyone is. Or you can just become a discordian.

How do I become a discordian?

If you want in on the Discordian Society
then declare yourself what you wish
do what you like
and tell us about it
or
if you prefer
don't.
There are no rules anywhere.
The Goddess Prevails.

Alright, does being a discordian have any perks?

You betcha, in fact, you, just like everyone else on earth,are the discordian pope!
The rights of a Pope include but are not necessarily limited to:
To invoke infallibility at any time, including retroactively.
To completely rework the Erisian church.
To baptise, bury, and marry (with the permission of the deceased in the latter two cases).
To excommunicate, de-ex-communicate, re-ex-communicate, and de-re-ex-communicate (no backsies!) both his-/her-/it-/them-/your-/our-/His-/Her-/It-/Them-/Your-/Our-self/selves and others (if any).
To perform all rites and functions deemed inappropriate for a Pope of Discordia.

Alright, I'm a discordian, now what?

Now the fun really begins. As a discordian you are part of operation mindfuck, a decentralized, individual driven movement of social change and mockery with the express purpose of shocking or confusing the masses out of the hold they have on themselves. There is no chosen method or doctrine when it comes to the operation, though causing physical injury to others is looked down on. A discordian has no laws and is unbound by what is considered socially exceptionable so do whatever you want.

...I can't think of anything.

Not so clever eh? Well fear not help is here and waiting. If you wish to get a hand on your first acts of social irregularity then consider yourself part of my cabal, the "888 eyes of Eris". You're free to come and go as you please but the cabal means fellow discordains and fellow discordians means exponential chaos. Right now the 888 Eyes is participating in the POSTERGASM
http://www.blackironprison.com/index.php?title=POSTERGASM
the effort to plaster as many strange and thought provoking posters in public areas as possible. The link will have plenty of starter posters and you're encouraged to create your own as well. Over all, do as you wish and enjoy kicking this dreary world right in the man marbles

Is there anywhere I can go to get a better understanding of the ideas you so clumsily discussed

Indeed there is, check out the discordia wiki at http://discordia.wikia.com/wiki/Operation_Mindfuck as well as my convenient hidden stash of related literature located here.
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=GF7T5IY0
Within are dozens of books, papers and magazines including the book of the subgenius, Principia discordia and the online Discordian magazine "Intermittens".

Remember

THE GODDESS PREVAILS

[Omegastick]

Remember: freedom is a verb.

Edit: This looks interesting, reading up on it now.

[Cthulhu]

So it's a religion based around being lolsorandum?

[piecewise]

So it's a religion based around being lolsorandum?

Its a religion in the same way that pastafarianism is a religion eg its all tongue in cheek. You ever heard of the Subgenius movement? Kinda like that.

Oh and LOLSORANDUM is generally just idiots trying to be funny by throwing random shit together. Generally discordians try to be a more satirical by pointing out the insanity of certain excepted social norms and by seeking to break persistent paradigms so as to allow more free, uninhibited thought.

[RedWarrior0]

So they invoke the paradox of chaos? Basically, if everyone's doing it, it's not good, so join us and be random, even though everyone is doing it. This religions are stupid sometimes.

[Omegastick]

I don't think You guys are getting it, it's a mixture of a joke and a brilliant way of screwing with people's minds.

[piecewise]

So they invoke the paradox of chaos? Basically, if everyone's doing it, it's not good, so join us and be random, even though everyone is doing it. This religions are stupid sometimes.

You don't seem to understand the idea. In layman's terms its basically this: We want people to stop being stuck in mental ruts and to think creatively and freely. We don't want to create anarchy or abolish law or just run around nailing fruit to the wall, we just want to make people see and think about the world differently. For instance we'd want people to stop simply attributing Tolkien style attributes to the standard fantasy races. Why do dwarves all have to have braided beards and battle axes? Why are elves always supermodel vegan twats? Why are humans always colossal dickheads?

We want the world to be a bit more creative and a bit less serious, thats all. 

[RedWarrior0]

Yes, but do they take being less serious seriously?

[piecewise]

Yes, but do they take being less serious seriously?

If you look in the book of the subgenius you'll see this phrase:


So no, we're not too serious about being less serious, we're just having fun.

[Soadreqm]

Sometimes they they jokes seriously, and sometimes they joke about serious things.
But it's all for fun, and they let you print these cards that say you're Pope.
Instead of joining other discordians, I suggest you just craft your own version of the dogma. You're doing what you did before, only now you have a divine mandate for it!

[piecewise]

Sometimes they they jokes seriously, and sometimes they joke about serious things.
But it's all for fun, and they let you print these cards that say you're Pope.
Instead of joining other discordians, I suggest you just craft your own version of the dogma. You're doing what you did before, only now you have a divine mandate for it!

Thats the good thing about the discordian dogma its all basically" Here do this. Or don't. We don't care"

[Sensei]

Why don't we shorten the entire affair down to "It's Dadaism"?

Not to pee on your parade, but I'm always the first one to grow tired of being in character...

[smigenboger]

I enjoy this kind of thing, trying to do something different. It's best to fringe on socially acceptable, instead of directly confronting it. The acceptable fringe makes for interest, the absurd makes for People of Walmart.

When I had to wear crutches, I flat out refused, and got a skull cane from Spencers instead. Got away with it at school, much to peoples amusement.

On a door that said "This door is alarmed", he put a sticky note saying "What startled it?"

My last pair of shoelaces were so rediculously orange, they were often the orangist thing within a square mile. Many people asked why my shoelaces were so orange, creating more and more complicated reasons, missing the whole 'Just cuz' part of it

[Nirur Torir]

I'm going to have to excommunicate Piecewise for violating his own preached ideals, by using standard, unvaried red text to separate sections.

[piecewise]

I'm going to have to excommunicate Piecewise for violating his own preached ideals, by using standard, unvaried red text to separate sections.

ಠ_ಠ

UNEXCOMMUNICATION POWERS ACTIVATE