I can understand others' arguments about it being more of a challenge and yet another Fun thing for players to have to watch out for, even from those who focus on fortress architecture. However, the idea of realistic cave-ins completely makes fantasy architecture - the kind of architecture I enjoy - completely impossible. One of my favourite - scratch that, my absolute favourite part of the game is being able to create highly stylized structures otherwise found only in paintings, animation, and computer-generated imagery. If I want to carve a giant cavern, I don't want to have to worry about it being chock full of pillars from head to toe; if I want to create a winding passageway up a spire without ground beneath the suspended walkway, I don't want it to collapse halfway through; if I want to dig away at a mountain, I don't want it fall down and crush my miners.
Towers and aboveground structures are another matter entirely - how would one even build a tower using any sort of realistic gravity? Trying to build to any significant height would be out of the question, especially as DF does not understand foundations nor can suspension wire be tied between a tower and the ground (even trying to fake one out of constructed rock would cause a cave-in partway up). And what of the interface? Building structures or digging caverns with any amount of open space greater than perhaps 3 z-levels becomes exceedingly difficult to keep track of with a 2D view of a 3D world regardless of annoying flashing displays. I hate to bring my own work into a debate, but I have dug a cavern nearly 50z tall with an asymmetrical naturally-curving variably-high ceiling spanning an area of around 50x100. Even if I could hypothetically dig such a thing out with cave-in realism it would be impossible to keep track of what areas of the ceiling or walls were strong/weak, even with dedicating every single one of my hotkeys to different parts of it.
Furthermore, we the players would have to learn everything about every single construction and building in regards to support. If I dug out a 100x100x100 square chamber using only up/down stairs, would it support itself? What about fortifications? Or even doors and support pillars? Constructed vs. natural walls? Would floors provide any support? And gods forbid having to learn the individual weight of every building and construction in the game (let alone material weights) to know whether or not you're allowed to build another wall atop your fortress barricade. Even creating a large room with a vaulted ceiling for support would be impossible, whether dug-out or constructed - it would work upon completion, but getting it completed really would be impossible to do - it'd collapse as you built it up before you could connect the curves, and to dig out a vaulted room you'd have to start at the top and dig down, adjusting the curve with every new level you dug (and how would one even get back up if you needed to adjust the curve once you'd dug down three more layers?). I dread having to learn the logic behind what grade curves create a support-giving vaulted ceiling, and above all I dread having to teach this to new players. Dwarf Fortress should not be restricted only to structural engineers and architects.
The option to turn off cave-ins altogether is similarly unfavourable. I want things hanging unsuspended in the air to fall down. I want to have to be careful when digging. However I above all want to be able to dig. If this feature was ever to be implemented, I would require a third toggle to have the current fantasy-style cave-in system currently implemented, and I don't know if Toady would be able to completely rewrite how gravity and support work while keeping the current attachment-is-support system and having unattached land/structures still fall.
I really do understand the desire among some players from realism in this aspect of gameplay, but it derives from my ability to do what I want to do. It's true that digging right now is 'too easy' and has few risks, but unlike other similar complaints such as farming being too easy, mining can not be made more difficult while keeping all its abilities. If farming becomes more difficult, I can still farm. If mining becomes more difficult, I can't dig, and the casual tone with which some people appear to be considering the matter very deeply worries me.
I see realistic cave-ins as a step backwards in DF, deeply taking away from the formerly vast field of architectural possibilities a player can create. The day that Dwarf Fortress starts imposing limits on me as a player is the day I stop playing it.