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[qwertyuiopas]

Not that I'm playing or anything, but if I were, I would suggest an action like this: Randomly give players a universe-breaking roll bonus in the range of -5/6 to +5/6 (And that 5/6 means a fraction roughly equal to 0.8333, not "5 or 6")
(Such fractions can be achieved by rolling a d6, and giving the bonus if the d6 shows a number equal or lesser, otherwise giving +0)

[RAM]

Summon a big gun from nowhwere and blast that kitty to BACK INTO HELL!

The big gun just doesn't seem to want to appear.

Focus Spiral Energy into a condensed orb.

Try as you might there just doesn't seem to be any spiral energy.

Stand by the demon kitten (but out of range of Jetsquirrel's gun's splash) and assume an authoritative stance. Failing that, assume a power stance and use the resulting jolt of memetic energy to create a temporary deflector shield.

Just as you are on the verge of creating legendary stance history, you stretch a muscle and fall to the ground like a statue.

Wake up

The Bun vanishes and the sound of a deep breath replaces the unpleasant beeping sound from the last occupied cylinder.

Destroy the third wall.

With a terrifying squeaking the giant kitten tears through the wall in a flurry of claws. The far wall is gouged away revealing solid stone behind the metal, and a great fluffy tail swings through the window, brushing it aside like cloth while the near panels are shredded. It seems a couple of the kittens were caught and didn't make it...

Make entrance

A figure slides under the giant kitten, the door begins to open as a gruff mowing can be heard, just as the door opens the figure swings through it and gently slides to a halt, wearing a torn shirt, a long lab-coat, and over one shoulder, an elderly cat.

Discuss epic rolls.

There seem to be some limits on potential results of rolls, but all actions seem to be translated into something viable...


We find our heroes in a room, in this room is a hole, in this hole is a kitten, in this kitten are unfathomable horrors beyond comprehension or redundant perplexitude. With the ever looming threat of NPCification it seems things have never been so perilous! And the cat was there...

Jetsquirrel: In room with cylinders
   child
   ESP 1
Schilcote: On floor of room with cylinders
   Stiff
   summoning 0
   Poser 1
Spartan 117: In room with cylinders
   cuts on right hand.
   172
inteuniso: In room with cylinders
   Projection 1
Kismic Horror: In crater in corridor
   132
   2 kittens
   Kittens 2
NPC:  In room with cylinders
   1 elderly cat
   torn shirt
   lab-coat
Waiting Room: Looming

[Spartan 117]

Kick reason to the curb and go beyond the impossible, forming a giant mech suit around me.

Or at least a piece of one, I'm patient.

[Schilcote]

Get up and ASSUME THE STANCE.

[100killer9]

Wait paitently.

[inteuniso]

Project myself onto NPC.

[Jetsquirrel]

Look what i have in my pockets,jacker or whatever

[RAM]

form a giant mech suit around me. Or a piece of one,'.

You attempt to channel your energy around you, but fail to build up enough to affect anything. You would probably be better off trying to find a mad scientist that could build you one.

Get up and ASSUME THE STANCE.

You adopt a dramatic pose and feel untouchable.

Summon more minions

Four more normal kittens burst from your fur and gather around expectantly. You then sit down and lick a paw, blood splashes across the remains of the walls, but in a good way.

Project myself onto NPC.

You overshoot the new character and merge with the wall. You feel your thoughts start to drift away as the eternal nature of wallness surrounds you. *danger*
meanwhile your body falls to the floor.

Eat

A mysterious stranger awkwardly hobbles up to the edge of the window, they do not look healthy.

search for the weapons cache

You press the wall where you would have put a secret weapons cache and a panel drifts open revealing a number of devices. You believe them to be weapons, as follows:
guns:
 A standard death-ray.
 2 lightning-guns, one powered and one requiring what appear to be charged pellets.
 A laser-gun, charged.
 A flame-pistol, seems to use some sort of obscure magnesium-flake cartridge with a small battery.
Other: these three can all be recharged by applying electrical current directly to the dangerous end.
 A death-stick, stick the glowing end into a target, push the button, the target dies.
 A lightning-tooth. Pull out a tooth(preferably forward-facing) and quickly stick this in its place, it will quickly install itself in a fresh vacancy. Tongue-operated, it has a safety switch on the front, and a trigger on the back, shoots lightning.
 A death-eye, will self-install into a vacant eye-socket. Should fire a death-ray at whatever the user is looking at using the blinking action as a trigger. You can't be sure if it will provide vision and its appearance is obviously mechanical. You think that there is a safety switch on the front to turn it off, but you don't feel like sticking your finger down the front of a death-ray to test it.
There is also a map to the armoury, unfortunately it is back in the main complex.

Look what i have in my pockets,jacker or whatever

Now that you think about it, You appear to be naked, and genderless, as does everyone else, except the new arrival in generally normal clothing and a lab-coat.

Be quiet

More more more! Another new arrival. Weapons, twice as many as there are cylinders. More kittens.

You are in a room, there are cylinders against one wall, large enough to hold people. There is a door to a corridor beyond, there is a window that looks onto the corridor. There is a hole in the window with a number of kittens in it, one of which is quite large. There is a concealed compartment next to the door.

There are 4 people from pods, 1 character in a lab-coat, 1 giant kitten, and one ill-looking person outside the window.
The lab-coated one has a cat.
The kitten has kittens.


Short-lived map
----^------
    K   M
-+-= ===---
|N       |
|J S I s |
|0 0 0 0 |
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Spoiler: people (click to show/hide)

Jetsquirrel: In room with cylinders
   child
   ESP 2

Schilcote: On floor of room with cylinders
   summoning 0
   Poser 1

Spartan 117: In room with cylinders
   scabs on right hand.
   energy field
   175

inteuniso: In room with cylinders
   mind lost in wall
   Projection 2

Kismic Horror: In crater in corridor
   132
   6 kittens
   Kittens 1

NPC:  In room with cylinders
   1 elderly cat
   torn shirt
   lab-coat
   death-ray
   lightning-gun, powered
   lightning-gun, ammunition-based
   laser-gun
   flame-pistol
   death-stick
   lightning-tooth
   death-eye
   map to armoury

Waiting Room: Looming

Spoiler: places (click to show/hide)

Room with cylinders:
   door
   hole
   4 cylinders

Corridor outside cylinder room:
   crater

[Jetsquirrel]

FIND AWESOME WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION!!

[Spartan 117]

I offer my service to the man in the lab coat, requesting he build me a device which I can use to focus and control Spiral Energy as payment.

[Schilcote]

Hmm... I suppose I shall grab the laser pistol. If it runs out of charge, I can probably get a few shots out of it using memetic energy.

If the Hell-o Kitty is a threat, I maintain my stance and attempt to protect Inteuniso's body as well.

Else, I attempt to gain information about this facility from the labcoat person, and if it has scientific equipment.

[inteuniso]

Push the walls in with my mind!

[kilakan]

dunno, but i would avoid grabbing things from a man with multiple death lasers...

[Schilcote]

dunno, but i would avoid grabbing things from a man with multiple death lasers...

He's got plenty, he probably wants us to have some (or at least wouldn't mind, 4 guns is better than one, right?). Even if he objects, I can just assume The Stance and everything he throws at me will just bounce off.

[RAM]

FIND AWESOME WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION!!

You find a panel with some spare changes of clothing and a ball of thread with a needle.

Eat

You charge one of the kittens, which is paralysed in fear, and eaten.

I offer my service to the man in the lab coat, requesting he build me a device which I can use to focus and control Spiral Energy as payment.

They seem to be busy at the moment, but they comment that spirals usually dissipate too quickly to be any fun...

grab the laser pistol and attempt to gain information about this facility from the labcoat person, and if it has scientific equipment.

They reach for one of the weapons and you think that your business can wait.

Push the walls in with my mind!

You attempt to compress the walls but find that their sense of presence is too strong. You feel the inevitable rhythm of inanimacy spreading through your being. But at the last moment you find yourself pushing away from the wall and spinning across the room.

Shoot the mysterious stranger with the flame pistol through the window, avoid letting people taking items from me, poilitly refusing... with force if necessary.
Tell them how they were created... and the unfortunate lack of creation of any of their clothes.  Then inform them of the kinetic horror stuck in the pit in the hallway and the multiple blood thirsty abominations wondering around.  Also to ask politely first if they want my stuff.

The NPC raises the flame pistol toward the mysterious stranger at the window, and then their face lights up with inspiration and they turn towards the rest of the people in the room. "Aha, you are awake! And they said a people factory would never work... You are the creations of my beautiful machine! _{well, the others had some ideas, but they can't claim credit after dying} It is a brilliant machine that creates people from scratch, not just ordinary people, but special people! You should all have superpowers or something... They told us to build this thing to save humanity or something, said they needed mad scientists, they called us mad, mad! And now that they're all dead and I'm here, so who was mad after all, ha? Hahahahahaha... Oh, it seems that when I rushed the process it didn't quite finish, you were meant to have clothes, and, other things, like normal humans, oh well..."
 "I also noticed that there is some sort of monstrous kitten in the corridor back there, did one of you make it? The corridor collapsed behind me after the zombies got into the complex, but there is a passage to the surface at the near end of the corridor, but my creation! My beautiful People Factory, we cannot abandon it, not forever! Ummm, it was supposed to be the last hope for humanity or something, but it will probably be a long time before the zombies break in. Which reminds me, there are zombies, you were meant to have detailed memories of them, but finishing the process early may have interrupted your programming. Ummm, there are zombies, the soldiers seemed nervous and were carrying some almost impressive weapons, and the zombies were apparently wiping out human civilisation or something, I wasn't really paying much attention."
 "I found these in that panel over there, they seem to be various weapons people came up with in their spare time, you can have some if you want. Sorry again for waking you up before you were finished, I was in an extreme hurry for some reason, it was really important..."

nap

Overcome by your kitten urges you ignore the mysterious stranger and curl up in a ball and sleep. Unfortunately, in a flagrant failure of feline, you forgot to keep an eye open... Your minions assemble to defend you.

Be a patsy for the GM Observe the characters.

...

Someone slaughters a kitten, it was bound to happen sooner or later... There is some plot exposition, forged in the tongue of monologue that shall not be uttered here. There is an offer of weapons, which may not be left to chance, depending upon the whims of the gods of the time.

You are in a room, there are cylinders against one wall, large enough to hold people. There is a door to a corridor beyond, there is a window that looks onto the corridor. There is a hole in the window with a number of kittens in it, one of which is quite large. There is a concealed compartment next to the door and some clothes under the window.

There are 4 people from pods, 1 character in a lab-coat, 1 giant kitten, friendly person adjacent to the kitten.
The lab-coated one has a cat.
The kitten has kittens.
The friendly one is eating a kitten


Out-dated map
----^------
    K   M
-+-= ===---
|N       |
|J S I s |
|0 0 0 0 |
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Spoiler: people (click to show/hide)

Jetsquirrel: In room with cylinders
   spare clothes for everyone
   ball of thread
   needle
   child
   ESP 2

Schilcote: In room with cylinders
   summoning 0
   Poser 1

Spartan 117: In room with cylinders
   scabs on right hand.
   weak energy field
   175

inteuniso: In room with cylinders
   form of spinning metal plate
   Projection 2

Kismic Horror: In crater in corridor
   asleep
   sleep field
   5 kittens
   132
   Kittens 1

NPC:  In room with cylinders
   1 elderly cat
   torn shirt
   lab-coat
   death-ray
   lightning-gun, powered
   lightning-gun, ammunition-based
   laser-gun
   flame-pistol
   death-stick
   lightning-tooth
   death-eye
   map to armoury
   Mad Robotics 1
   Technokinesis 0

mysterious stranger: Next to Kismic Horror
   cat-food

Waiting Room: Looming

Spoiler: places (click to show/hide)

Room with cylinders:
   door
   hole
   4 cylinders
   clothing cache
   weapon cache

Corridor outside cylinder room:
   crater