Sikeludos rode slowly into the sleepy town of Villageburg. The wagon he was riding on had a large sign painted on it: "SIKE L. UDOS CUREALLS". His current business was tricking uneducated peasants into buying his 'mysterious medicines'. In truth, his medicines were nothing more than mud in a bottle, the peasants drank it up, anyway.
He stopped his wagon in the middle of town and began to prepare his stage. Using a complex series of mechanisms, the wagon unfolded dramatically, revealing a table, and several boxes full of 'cureall'. This display had already begun to attract some of the townsfolk, although, not being completely stupid, they didn't make any move towards buying the 'medicine'.
Finally, after all was prepared, one middle-aged woman stepped up. He knew this woman, he had paid her off pretend to be sick and buy one of his curealls, then miraculously get better. The townsfolk, less wary now after the show, decided to take a look. Sikeludos looked over the crowd and proudly proclaimed, "Yes, this is the power of Sike L. Udos curealls! Come one and all and be cured!" An elderly man missing an arm walked up to him. "Does it cure missing limbs?" the man asked, "Yes, it most definitely cures missing limbs, in fact that's one of its main purposes." Sikeludos replied. "It should heal in a week, with proper amounts of cureall." A woman walked up, "Will it cure a mouthful of missing teeth??" She asked, "Indeed! It will make your mouth better than you could dream of! Don't settle for animal teeth, use Sike L. Udos Curealls!" He replied. She bought several. A small child walked up and asked "Why are you wearing such clothes?" "Ah, my boy, that is because I come from the far off land of India, where all the great indian men wear clothes like these, straight to England to bring the English these wonderous elixirs!" He replied.
The only reason Sikeludos was even doing this was because an English nobleman had become infuriated after some jokes directed at the English's intelligence on Sikeludos' part.Sikeludos had proposed a bet that if he could get the English peoples to eat mud, the nobleman must hand over the jewel that he had stolen out of India, as it was "Sikeludos' duty" to bring it back. In truth, Sikeludos point of origin was much closer to England than India. It didn't matter if he made some money along the way, he thought to himself.
As Sikeludos was packing up and preparing to flee town, he heard a loud scream coming from the north end of town. He ran quickly, along with a throng of villagers, to see what had caused this scream. As he looked, he saw a large hole in the ground, which it appeared someone had fallen into.The villagers gathered round the hole and looked down. Someone threw a stone down, but it made no noise. As Sikeludos neared the edge of the hole, a stream of ghosts, phantom, specters, apparitions, and tortured souls erupted out of the hole, grabbing him and pulling him down.
Sikeludos wakes up, face down on the ground. Around him he sees a charred skeleton, probably from the unfortunate villager who fell in. Off in the distance, he sees a small, scaly creature. This creature walks around on two legs, has two arms with large claws, a tail and a grotesque head with two large, curved horns. Sikeludos immediately reaches into his hood and pulls out what can only be described as a piece of metal on a rope. He waits, wary of the creature, seeing if it will attack. The creature looks in his direction, sniffing the air and walking around slowly. Suddenly, it charges, horns raised, directly at Sikeludos, who, having spun and twisted the rope around himself, lashes out with it, striking the creature directly in the head, this only serves to stagger the creature, which soon gets up and charges again. Sikeludos continues to hammer the creature away with his weapon, finally smashing its head into its body effectively killing it.
Sikeludos drops the weight on a rope and sits down, tired after the battle. He looks up and round the caverns when, suddenly, the light dies out, leaving him in complete darkness. Sikeludos reaches into his hood again and pulls out a lantern, lighting it after some struggle. As he tries to see in the newfound darkness, a strange shape catches his eye. In fact, several strange shapes. 2... 5... 10 of the small creatures emerge from the darkness, making odd noises and grunts. Sikeludos jumps up suddenly, sets down the lantern, and pulls out two long, bladed gauntlets from his hood, getting into a fighting stance. Several minutes pass, the creatures eyeing him and making half lunges before retreating, before Sikeludos suddenly picks up the lantern and flees the scene running as fast as he can away from the mob of creatures.
Sikeludos runs for what seems to be hours away from the creatures, before finally stopping to rest. He looks behind him and sees none of the creatures which is a great relief he thinks. That is, before he looks forward and sees a truly humongous wingless bird-like creature standing before him. "...Oh dear..."
Sikeludos picks his lantern back up and runs...
Blarg, either I suck at writing, or my confidence in my own writing is nonexistant.
Hopefully you've picked up on his skill now. Also, his preference for exotic weaponry.