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[Kebooo]

Like, your personality needing to be restructured.

Says who?  If they both enjoy life this way, what's wrong with it?  If it's making him unhappy, that's one thing, if he doesn't care, that's another.  I wouldn't go around so casually proclaiming that another person needs to restructure their personality.  Not everyone must have or will have need of strong willpower.

what's to keep the desire for optimal genes from you ending up the chump raising some other guy's kid?

This is a rather sinister line.  What's to keep her from cheating on him because he doesn't fulfill some macho fantasy you've attributed to her based on generalizations of human behavior?  A lot of things, like being a thinking human being that, I assume, loves and cares for him.  Not every person is constantly looking out for the optimal genes or pursuing the person who attracts them most in the shallowest of ways.  If that's the type of woman she is, then he'd be better off without her, so it's a point not worth pondering.

[G-Flex]

If it actually bothers you, then talk to her about it and make sure it stops.
If you're cool with it, then don't.

I don't understand why you'd need to ask an internet forum about this. If someone's doing something that bugs you, then talk to them about it.

[Coidzure Dreams]

Like, your personality needing to be restructured.

Says who?  If they both enjoy life this way, what's wrong with it?  If it's making him unhappy, that's one thing, if he doesn't care, that's another.  I wouldn't go around so casually proclaiming that another person needs to restructure their personality.  Not everyone must have or will have need of strong willpower.

Obviously if he's posted about it on here, there's a problem of some sort.  Either she's bragging about her control over him to us or he's distressed by her power over him.  Or possibly it's all an elaborate joke on us here on the boards.

We all need enough willpower not to be slaves or victims of domestic abuse.  I contend that he is not showing enough willpower to avoid falling victim to the latter fate.

what's to keep the desire for optimal genes from you ending up the chump raising some other guy's kid?

This is a rather sinister line.  What's to keep her from cheating on him because he doesn't fulfill some macho fantasy you've attributed to her based on generalizations of human behavior?  A lot of things, like being a thinking human being that, I assume, loves and cares for him.  Not every person is constantly looking out for the optimal genes or pursuing the person who attracts them most in the shallowest of ways.  If that's the type of woman she is, then he'd be better off without her, so it's a point not worth pondering.

Macho fantasy?  Hah.  More like extrapolations from what I know of evolutionary biology.  Women want A. Good Genes for offspring and B. a mate they know isn't going to leave them or reproduce with other women.  The individual who provides A does not have to provide B and vice versa.  We have no way of knowing if/when she'll come to the conclusion that his lack of (implied)confidence and (shown)willpower will result in her having less and less of an opinion of him until she views him as little more than a slave, unworthy of love.

And yes, it is a sinister line.  Sadly not as sinister as it could be since I didn't type it left-handed.  The point is to highlight the unfortunate implications and the bad possibilities.

There's no point in highlighting the fluffy-bunny possibilities.

[Kebooo]

We all need enough willpower not to be slaves or victims of domestic abuse.  I contend that he is not showing enough willpower to avoid falling victim to the latter fate.

So because he doesn't have enough willpower to go up against her on this, he wouldn't have the willpower to resist worse domestic abuse?  I'm sure you recognize that as a fallacy, my friend.

Macho fantasy?  Hah.  More like extrapolations from what I know of evolutionary biology.  Women want A. Good Genes for offspring and B. a mate they know isn't going to leave them or reproduce with other women.  The individual who provides A does not have to provide B and vice versa.  We have no way of knowing if/when she'll come to the conclusion that his lack of (implied)confidence and (shown)willpower will result in her having less and less of an opinion of him until she views him as little more than a slave, unworthy of love.

It's almost as if you believe people are entirely slaves to their most base of sexual fantasies or desires, are you saying you are exactly that and live your life by it?  I certainly hope not.  If not, maybe you shouldn't assume others are.  For example, a man may prefer a 5'0" bimbo with huge breasts, high pitched voice, and overly feminine face that offers no opposing opinions or views to him and is always submissive and agreeable, or be turned on by it the most (evolutionary biology).  He may fantasize about it in his mind.  Does that mean he will choose to pursue these types of women?  Does that mean he will cheat on the wife he loves for these types of women?  Don't be so eager to hand out judgment on people you don't know based on mere statistics.  If you keep up on scientific journals, you will be well aware of the study that has shown statistical correlation is more often wrong than right.  Evolutionary biology does not even come close to explaining individuals and their choices, maybe the general trend of society or humanity, but not an individual.  It's merely statistical correlations that we infer preferences from.  If 60% of bay12games members were pedophiles, kept in their own separate sub-forum away from the non-pedophiles, would you appreciate strangers assuming you are a pedophile for coming here?  Or how about strangers expressing concern to your family that you may be a pedophile?

[Kebooo]

meant to edit previous post

[G-Flex]

People talking about "good genes" and "evolutionary biology" tend to not take into account several things, like the fact that, in social animals, a trait that's bad for an individual is sometimes still positive for the group.

Of course, it's a hypersimplistic perspective of something like relationships anyway. You can be nervous and underconfident but still have plenty of other positive traits, such that your significant other won't go around boning other people at the first opportunity (or ever, necessarily).

[Coidzure Dreams]

We all need enough willpower not to be slaves or victims of domestic abuse.  I contend that he is not showing enough willpower to avoid falling victim to the latter fate.

So because he doesn't have enough willpower to go up against her on this, he wouldn't have the willpower to resist worse domestic abuse?  I'm sure you recognize that as a fallacy, my friend.

The fact that he's enduring anything that could be qualified as domestic abuse is bad, if it is actually a fact that such is the case.  I'm inclined to believe that there's something sketchy with the situation as presented at the very least and express concern about the perceived lack of self-defense.

Macho fantasy?  Hah.  More like extrapolations from what I know of evolutionary biology.  Women want A. Good Genes for offspring and B. a mate they know isn't going to leave them or reproduce with other women.  The individual who provides A does not have to provide B and vice versa.  We have no way of knowing if/when she'll come to the conclusion that his lack of (implied)confidence and (shown)willpower will result in her having less and less of an opinion of him until she views him as little more than a slave, unworthy of love.

It's almost as if you believe people are entirely slaves to their most base of sexual fantasies or desires, are you saying you are exactly that and live your life by it?

Nah.  I just wanted to present a risk of continuing to be weak-willed and easily pushed around and provide an explanation for how/why it can happen rather than saying with a certainty that X will always happen.  I meant it more of a hypothetical future partner anyway, thus taking more advantage of the innate uncertainty of life and the fact that I cannot account for individual personalities but could speak to generalities.  Also, it was said from a perspective of such things influencing us (since we are, after all, free-willed, sapient creatures) rather than out and out controlling us.  I apologize for leaving out that bit of explication.

Or maybe I have existential crises where I ponder whether my genetic material is worth passing on to future generations.  *shrug*  Near as I can tell, my personal beliefs don't really enter into whether or not he is potentially putting himself in a situation where he has a greater risk of being cheated on.

Don't be so eager to hand out judgment on people you don't know based on mere statistics.

I'll concede this, I was too quite to come to a moral conclusion on the individuals involved considering what we've actually seen.  I stand by the sentiment that it is a ridiculous situation and if he doesn't have enough willpower to keep from telling someone his password, he deserves what seems to be happening to him.  I'll just refrain from thinking about the pair of them as horrible people.

I apologize for the tone I took with you and for not more fully laying out my position overall.

If 60% of bay12games members were pedophiles, kept in their own separate sub-forum away from the non-pedophiles, would you appreciate strangers assuming you are a pedophile for coming here?  Or how about strangers expressing concern to your family that you may be a pedophile?

I might not appreciate it, but if there was any data to back that up it would be a reasonable thing for them to be concerned about if they found out I was a member of the boards.  However, if this was available in a common knowledge form such that someone random could know it, likely I would know it as well and would need quite a bit of incentive to start or, once learned, maintain ties to such a website that condoned pedophilia and allowed it to flourish even if it were just in a specific sub-forum.

I'm not sure where you're going with the talking to my family here, since I have no ability to actually influence his life beyond what words, words, words can do.

[Kebooo]

Here's my real point: this is a girl the guy loves, and I assume trusts.  Maybe that's not true, but I think it's reasonable to assume, or else why would he so easily give up his passwords?  Well, you've just questioned her faithfulness and honesty.  Maybe she'd dump him, but to suggest she might get pregnant with another man, have the other man's child, and have him raise it?  That is more sinister than even the average simpleton's life.  I would agree with your general point when looking at the whole of humanity, because many people aren't honest, do cheat, and do follow their most base desires.

I like to think the type of people visiting bay12games have a good eye for decent people, and thus girlfriends.  Might not be true, but I think it's preferable to assuming the worst.  If neither of the two were reading the topic at all, I wouldn't consider the implication disrespectful.  Consider this; his girlfriend may be reading your lines and has now just had you question her honesty and faithfulness by the mere fact she is a woman.  You don't know anything about her, her principles, her morals, her care for him, yet still felt compelled to question her honesty and faithfulness, putting them up in the air.  The "going to your family" was meant that you may have just indirectly told his family (his girlfriend) that you have enough doubt in her faithfulness to warrant raising.  Maybe a poor analogy, I was merely stating you probably wouldn't want strangers planting seeds of doubt in your family's trust of you.

One last thing, I'd like to object to the idea attractiveness of a man or woman is a definitive indicator of their health or "better" genetics.  After all, most of us would consider someone highly intelligent to have good genes, but as far as evolution is concerned, all that matters is the amount of successful offspring you pass on.  Someone could live longer, be healthier in middle age, be more intelligent, and yet be less fertile.  Who really has the worst genes, when it comes to a conscious evaluation?  Our preferences are because of correlations (X feature has Y probability of Z), and that means they can deceive us when it comes to what we would commonly measure as "good genes".

[Grakelin]

weak willpower.

You should work on that.might help out with the relationship as it stands,amongst other things.

Does anyone else ever get amused by nicotine patch commercials where they say "Even with willpower, I had trouble quitting" or "Combined with willpower, you can end your habit", as if willpower was a separate product you had to pick up at the store?

If this is the case, just buy a stronger dose.

[SIGVARDR]

Does anyone else ever get amused by nicotine patch commercials where they say "Even with willpower, I had trouble quitting" or "Combined with willpower, you can end your habit", as if willpower was a separate product you had to pick up at the store?

If this is the case, just buy a stronger dose.

A 40.oz of liquid courage is the solution to all of mans problems.ALL OF THEM.

[eerr]

Does anyone else ever get amused by nicotine patch commercials where they say "Even with willpower, I had trouble quitting" or "Combined with willpower, you can end your habit", as if willpower was a separate product you had to pick up at the store?

If this is the case, just buy a stronger dose.

A 40.oz of liquid courage is the solution to all of mans problems.ALL OF THEM.

That is not a long term solution.

[SIGVARDR]

Obviously.It was intended as the obvious joke,as my only real advice i wished to offer has been said already.

[Coidzure Dreams]

Does anyone else ever get amused by nicotine patch commercials where they say "Even with willpower, I had trouble quitting" or "Combined with willpower, you can end your habit", as if willpower was a separate product you had to pick up at the store?

If this is the case, just buy a stronger dose.

A 40.oz of liquid courage is the solution to all of mans problems.ALL OF THEM.

That is not a long term solution.

Thats why our dwarves keep barrels of the stuff around.

[smjjames]

If your girlfriend is causing problems like posting that thread you just locked, you have a serious problem and you need to deal with it.

[Jackrabbit]

Having a girlfriend who bags Armok isn't a serious problem. It's like having a girlfriend how enjoys light reading. Nothing abnormal about it, everyone does it.

But yeah, keep her away from your account. Awaaaaay!