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[FreakyCheeseMan]

FreakyCheeseMan cancels Make Witty Post: Creeped Self Out.

[Max White]

Max White cancels normal thought process: Interrupted by FreakyCheeseMan.

[FreakyCheeseMan]

Max White cancels normal thought process: Interrupted by FreakyCheeseMan.

And I just found my first-ever sig.

[Kaelem Gaen]

haha,  Horror stories from Dwarf Fortress: The Plant People (not to be confused with those tree hugging cannibal bastards)

[darkrider2]

I wonder if you make a fortress with plump helmet men... will they try to eat each other when they run out of food?

[Max White]

Well it depends on how you do there ethics, but don't expect them to eat plump helmets without ETHIC:EAT_SAPIENT_OTHER:ACCEPTABLE on...

[Dorf3000]

I wonder if you make a fortress with plump helmet men... will they try to eat each other when they run out of food?

It puts the potash on its skin or else it gets the hose again!

[Rastaan]

Congratulations. You win the award for "Dramatised Bastardry".

[FreakyCheeseMan]

Congratulations. You win the award for "Dramatised Bastardry".

Hey, we need to nip these guys in the bud. If you think elves are bad, just wait till you have Plump Man liasons demanding that you cut back on the number of mushrooms your fortress cuts down, and getting all offended if your broker has dwarven wine on his breath.

[Rastaan]

Heh. Nip them in the bud.

You win the award for horrible puns as well! =P

[Durin]

I'm unspeakably dissspointed. A dwarven fortress has discovered a sentient creature made out of mushrooms, and no one has proposed brewing him?

Sigged. That was awesome.

You *know that's what they'd do... I can just imagine it...


...The Plump Helmet Man ambassador took a step forward, extending his tuber in a traditional offering of peace, trying to fight off his vague since of unease at his race's newfound cohabitants of the caverns they called home.

The dwarf before him didn't respond, but somewhere beneath the mishappen lump of rotten kitten leather a bearded face moved.

*sniff sniff*
*twitch*

The diplomat took a step back, turning to look whisper to his guard, a panicked look on the large guard from the third kingdom.

"Did he just... growl?"
"Screw diplomacy, let's get out of here! We'll send them a fruit basket, or... or... god, bob, they've blocked the exit?"

The dimplomat turned back angrily to the dwarf before him to protest, only to be met with a -=wooden mace=- traveling the other way, and everything went black.

The diplomat awoke to find himself soaking in a tub of unknown liquid, chains tying him down.  Above him he could see the bearded face of a dwarf, prodding him with a long stick and stirring the concoction around him as he soaked; behind that he could just make out a complicated series of tubes and aparati.

As conciousness returned to him, his ears began to pick up a sound, one familiar from his many years in the damp cavern, but one given fresh horror with the dawning realization of what they were doing to him.

Drip.

Drip.

Interestingly, beer is not brewed in a distillery in reality.  It would be brewed in the kitchen.  Now, dwarven rum would be distilled AFTER being brewed, again, in a kitchen....

Not sure if they will ever get around to updating that...

[Hamster Man]

BLASPHEMY!

[Max White]

evil story

Interestingly, beer is not brewed in a distillery in reality.  It would be brewed in the kitchen.  Now, dwarven rum would be distilled AFTER being brewed, again, in a kitchen....

Not sure if they will ever get around to updating that...

And yet you choose to ignore the fact that were brewing with fungi.

[Coidzure Dreams]

evil story

Interestingly, beer is not brewed in a distillery in reality.  It would be brewed in the kitchen.  Now, dwarven rum would be distilled AFTER being brewed, again, in a kitchen....

Not sure if they will ever get around to updating that...

And yet you choose to ignore the fact that were brewing with fungi.

Well, if anything's equipped to break down fungi, it'd be another fungus.

Though I remember some discussion of the idea of mushroom wine IRL...  Something about HFS being mentioned.

As it is, one does need to make up a "mash" in order to get the stuff to distill, so the plump helmet man being made into a mash makes sense at least.  And given their bizarre anatomy, being semi-aware of one's surroundings while in such a discombobulated state isn't too far fetched.

[Acanthus117]

Oh my. That story was extremely dwarfy. Now I have to make Mushroom men into an underground civ.