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[Michaelsoftman]

My fort started out peaceful enough.  Was digging out some bedrooms when all of a sudden job cancellations flooded in.

A RACCOON WAS IN THE FORT!

My dwarves were all running away, I had no military, no equipment other than one axe and some picks.  I had no idea how to use the military anyway.  I hope the raccoon will leave, but no, it continually runs for my stockpiles, making my dwarves scatter and return, which makes the raccoon run and return.  I stumble through the military screen until I find a "create squad" option, and put a peasant in the first vacant slot.

Then I figure ok that's done.  But the peasant was still running away from the raccoon!

I press go to the squad menu, and after pressing nearly every choice, I see one command that seems to be sticking out above the rest.

KILL.

I choose "kill" and select the raccoon.  My dwarf becomes a squad leader and rushes to take down the rabid beast.  He chases the raccoon to the river, where he finally corners it, and begins a 4 minute long combat with the creature.  He systematically breaks all of it's legs before he starts punching it in the head.  The raccoon was unconscious, nauseous, and in extreme pain, my recruit hadn't taken a single wound!  He kept on punching that raccoon.  He punched him in every single organ and body part.

Even though the blood was flying into the river and onto the nearby trees, he didn't stop punching.  Even after blood started covering the river, he didn't stop punching.  Finally, after a few minutes, the raccoon was dead.

I look forward to using the KILL command on other creatures.  Military = awesome.

[Bishop36]

Dwarves are awesome.

[Wardo]

Thanks. This was hilarious. 

[monk12]

Quite amusing.

I learned via a similar scenario featuring a pair of mountain goats who somehow got into the very bowels of my fortress undetected and a long, comical Benny Hill style chase across every part of the fortress and ended in the mayors office with about 3 minutes of macedwarfs beating the darn things to a bloody pulp.

[Quatch]

I did exactly the same thing, but with more dwarves.

And the raccoons (3) were zombies.

I lost eight dwarves to starvation, but everyone else was legendary ;P

[derekiv]

Learned the same way.
Just wish I had prepared earlier.

[tastypaste]

I love the kill orders. Makes handling berserk dwarfs and forest animals much easier.

But, make sure to prepare your army, you're going to need them. Enemies are tougher and dwarfs don't level up as quickly. Having to recruit your entire unarmed fortress and send them to punch a forgotten beast to death is inefficient and "fun".

[Karnewarrior]

alas, my swordsdwarf is also my expidition leader and thus cannot be recruited.

[RevolutionaryDorf]

The same thing happened to my fort... only with a pack of elephants.

I had just been watching my miners dig out the hospital when I pressed F1 to go back to the main gate. My heart sank immediately as I saw around 8 white E's idiotically stumbling towards the fort entrance. They were already past the gate, and it was far too late to do anything.

There were no survivors.

I've been having terrible luck this version. First embark, I forgot to assign skills and abandoned. Second fort, I embarked right on top of 2 dragons, that immolated everyone nigh-instantaneously. Third embark was in a desert, where I learned the hard way that I needed water to farm, and somehow forgot to bring picks. fourth embark, everything was going well for 3 years, until I realized that the dwarves had been wiped out in world gen, meaning no migrants. I genned worlds until the dwarves weren't all dead, then made the fort that would be destroyed by elephants in the second season.

When you lose in dwarf fortress, it's usually 50% player stupidity and 50% elephant tusk.

[n00bs4uce]

Quite amusing.

I learned via a similar scenario featuring a pair of mountain goats who somehow got into the very bowels of my fortress undetected and a long, comical Benny Hill style chase across every part of the fortress and ended in the mayors office with about 3 minutes of macedwarfs beating the darn things to a bloody pulp.

I've considered changing the background music to Benny Hill. Damned naked mole dogs wouldn't die and kept outrunning half my fortress.

[Dorf3000]

If you're chasing small animals, it helps to have at least 2 soldiers per animal.  You need to corner them or get them in some kind of pincer movement, one soldier will just run after it without catching up.

The best defence is to make the main doors pet impassable, wild animals don't go through them, they just pile up outside waiting to be let in.  Then you can give them a warm welcome with your axe.

[Michaelsoftman]

If you're chasing small animals, it helps to have at least 2 soldiers per animal.  You need to corner them or get them in some kind of pincer movement, one soldier will just run after it without catching up.

The best defence is to make the main doors pet impassable, wild animals don't go through them, they just pile up outside waiting to be let in.  Then you can give them a warm welcome with your axe.

I will try that, I just didn't have my outside wall built yet.  It was about halfway done when the raccoons halted construction.

[bmaczero]

Dwarves have two speeds: walk and kill.

[Maxxeh]

My first fort had a camel running around distracting everyone for a few seasons because my military of 5 men couldnt catch it  

it also exploded 2 dogs into a wall..

[grueburger]

I use the kill order on every unsuspecting creature which enters my caverns and I love it.  Have a well-equipped military before you try this though, or at least a bunch of angry dwarfs with axes and mismatched armour, which tends to function in pretty much the same way.  the caverns are littered with elk bird beaks and troll upper left arms, which is exactly how they should be decorated.