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[Pathos]

I don't really think that's true. Women are inclined to be nice to someone who's harmless, but the situation could be very different if the person were harmFUL.

Assuming, of course, that for every woman who stays in an abusive relationship, there is one who gets out of it early. I have no idea what the proportions are of course.

I was under the impression that this is untrue. Women like dangerous men simply because dangerous men are usually the stronger examples of the species. So, therefore, MORE BONINGS.

I might be completely wrong, though.

So I'm pretty much assuming this thread is over, just wanted to give a quick update and general conclusion.
He seems to have understood this time. I suppose I wasn't getting the message across clear enough before. He's still friendly, but in a more reserved, gentler way which I find quite nice. Thanks to everyone for their input, I suppose I wasn't going about it all too well.
Oh, as for the abusive relationship thing, I think thats different. I'm not spineless; I just wanted to let this guy down without hurting his feelings, or at least as little as possible. Assuming I ever end up with some jackass who'd qualify for worse, I think I could handle it. But thanks for the concern.

Next time, kill him and offer his heart to our Almighty Lord and Saviour, Catphomet.

[Acanthus117]

Yay! He's not creepy!

*Don't tell him I called him acreepy basterd*

[Renault]

Yay! He's not creepy!

*Don't tell him I called him acreepy basterd*

Heh. For a while there, he was. And in all reality, he still is, its just much more managable, heh.

[Acanthus117]

Good, good. just keep your taser on hand at all times, and tell him you know Jarate.

[Jude]

I don't really think that's true. Women are inclined to be nice to someone who's harmless, but the situation could be very different if the person were harmFUL.

Assuming, of course, that for every woman who stays in an abusive relationship, there is one who gets out of it early. I have no idea what the proportions are of course.

I was under the impression that this is untrue. Women like dangerous men simply because dangerous men are usually the stronger examples of the species. So, therefore, MORE BONINGS.

It's a lot more complicated than that

Some studies indicate they like men who are dominant (could even mean violent) against other people, especially other men, but gentle and sensitive to the woman.

Of course sometimes women's mate-selection instinct may, in effect, say "one out of two ain't bad" hence the attraction to dangerous men.

Of course when people talk about dangerous men being hot, they mean men that give the impression of danger by doing exciting and daring things. That's why a lot of young men are so into hobbies that carry substantial risks of injury, maiming, paralysis or death - natural selection probably favored ballsy men who show off their skills even if a lot of them died too.

Probably applies to me too. Why the heck would I want to go and live in the West Bank under military occupation? Because I want to. But I wouldn't be that surprised if the instinct that makes me want to is there because it similarly led my ancestors to do things that impressed tha ladies

[Kebooo]

I wouldn't say risk taking is an instinct to impress ladies, but rather the reverse, that risk taking had tangible advantages, and thus women evolved to be impressed by it.  Then again, men are equally impressed and entranced by risk taking, so is it really only based in sexual selection?  Risky investors have the chance to rise to the top, risky business ventures have a chance to make it big, risky sports plays have the biggest payoff.  Men, just as much as women, love to watch other men take big risks.  I suppose you could say men are that way because it's advantageous to watch those that are successful, how each risk played out, and whether it'd be worth personally taking that risk.

[bjlong]

So I'm pretty much assuming this thread is over, just wanted to give a quick update and general conclusion.
He seems to have understood this time. I suppose I wasn't getting the message across clear enough before. He's still friendly, but in a more reserved, gentler way which I find quite nice. Thanks to everyone for their input, I suppose I wasn't going about it all too well.

Excellent news! This is pretty much the best possible solution. I'd still recommend keeping him at arm's length, but you're in the clear! Good job.

[Grakelin]

It would have been so much easier for everyone and their feelings if you had just followed my advice and told him you don't do oral.

[Pathos]

It's a lot more complicated than that

Some studies indicate they like men who are dominant (could even mean violent) against other people, especially other men, but gentle and sensitive to the woman.

Of course sometimes women's mate-selection instinct may, in effect, say "one out of two ain't bad" hence the attraction to dangerous men.

Of course when people talk about dangerous men being hot, they mean men that give the impression of danger by doing exciting and daring things. That's why a lot of young men are so into hobbies that carry substantial risks of injury, maiming, paralysis or death - natural selection probably favored ballsy men who show off their skills even if a lot of them died too.

Probably applies to me too. Why the heck would I want to go and live in the West Bank under military occupation? Because I want to. But I wouldn't be that surprised if the instinct that makes me want to is there because it similarly led my ancestors to do things that impressed tha ladies

Oh, I know that, but the whole "violent towards women thing" works out in some women's minds as "sexy and dominating" and "maybe I can change him and he will be the perfect boyfriend".

Which is, for obvious reasons, a bit of a problem.

[DJ]

There's also that such guys tend to take control of things, and thus responsibility for the pair's decisions. Most people like shifting responsibility to someone else. It's the main reason hierarchies work, whether they're political, business, military or something else.

[Grakelin]

Where is this connection between violent towards women and a strong decision maker coming from?

If a woman likes a dangerous man, it's usually not because she thinks he's going to beat her within an inch of her life if she forgets the dishes. Sometimes it is, but that's an outlier.

[Jude]

Where is this connection between violent towards women and a strong decision maker coming from?

A dominant personality could cause both but yeah, there's not necessarily a connection.

Of course "strong decision maker" could mean he says what's going to happen and doesn't let anyone argue, which is not the same thing as a good decision maker.

[Pathos]

Where is this connection between violent towards women and a strong decision maker coming from?

If a woman likes a dangerous man, it's usually not because she thinks he's going to beat her within an inch of her life if she forgets the dishes. Sometimes it is, but that's an outlier.

Shut up, bitch, and make me a sammich.

[inteuniso]

Not everyone fantasizes about people they know or are attracted to.  I don't, it feels very violating.

Now reread your comment after you read your sig.

[Acanthus117]

Not everyone fantasizes about people they know or are attracted to.  I don't, it feels very violating.

Now reread your comment after you read your sig.

You realize he's being serious.