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[Siquo]

Now that's progress! Die more!

The marble figurine is now the objective of Epic Quest.

[webadict]

I shall have random colors of anything.

[dwarfguy2]

"I! AM NOT! A CLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
KICK THAT BITCH IN THE CROTCH WITH NUCLEAR FORCE!

[Ultimuh]

Wait what? Is the elf not listening? Is there noone who can understand my pain?
Cry out in saddened frustration in my soapily way. "SOOOOOAP!"

[IronyOwl]

DAMN!

Lesson learned: Never follow Nuke's plans.

[NUKE9.13]

DAMN!

Lesson learned: Never follow Nuke's plans.

Ahem.
My plan succeeded completely:
I am still alive.
...
Well.
I am probably dead now, a bedtime snack before Ngug goes back to the dark dimensions for his eternal slumber.
But no one can prove it!
Unless they go looking for my corpse.
...
Please do not go looking for my corpse.

[Bardum Idith]

KICK THAT BITCH IN THE CROTCH WITH NUCLEAR FORCE!

hit: d6-1=3, evade: d6=3
You kick the air's crotch!

attacks: d2=1, hit: d6=5, evade: d6=6
...and the goblin stabs it!


hit: d6-1=0, evade: d6=3
You repeat your failed attempt to kick the goblin!

attacks: d2=1, hit: d6=5, evade: d6=2, dmg: d10+2=10
The goblin stabs your chest for 2 damage.
Oh noes! Only 2 HP left!

>_

Wait what? Is the elf not listening? Is there noone who can understand my pain?
Cry out in saddened frustration in my soapily way. "SOOOOOAP!"

You scream soapily!

"Oh, don't be sad. You can wash youself without extracts from dead people. Just take a lot of water and... a bit of this."

He hands you a flask of frutarian soap analogue!

"I've to go now, our friends the cows might need help..."

>_


At the edge of the charmlashian estates, the mighty RNG spawns two dwarves:
The milker Urist "Mc"Curdle and the dyer Dorten Kickbucket!

You are standing on the road to the dwarven settlement of Charmlash, which you can already spot in the distance.
Ahead on the road you can see a few persons:


Four strangely robed dwarves are standing here. They are wearing strange robes!

>_

Status:

Spoiler: Goblin (click to show/hide)

HP: 4/8

Natural Armor:
 (6) Head: 3
 (5-4) Upper Body: 5+1
 (3) Lower Body:4+1
 (2) Arms: 4
 (1) Legs: 4

Equipment
 2 bronze daggers: hit+0, 1d10+2 dmg (equipped)
 copper scale mail: armor+1 (equipped)
 backpack with something round in it (equipped)

Spoiler: An elf (click to show/hide)

HP: 10/10

Natural Armor:
 (6) Head: 3
 (5-4) Upper Body: 5
 (3) Lower Body:3
 (2) Arms: 4
 (1) Legs: 4

Equipment
 green rope reed shirt (equipped)
 brown rope reed skirt (equipped)
 rope reed belt (equipped)

Spoiler: Urist Barrelburns (click to show/hide)

HP: 9/10
Skills:
Proficient Soap Maker (+2.5)

Inventory
 stone of gabbro (hauled)
 dirty pig tail robe of the soapmakers' guild (equipped)
 rusty knife: hit-1, 1d6+1 dmg
 flask of frutarian soap analogue

Spoiler: Urdim Milkman (click to show/hide)

HP: 2/10
Skills:
Competent Milker (+1.5)

Inventory
 pig tail robe (equipped)
 Clownite Scythe: hit-1, 3d10 dmg (equipped)

Spoiler: Urist "Mc"Curdle (click to show/hide)

HP: 10/10
Skills:
Novice Milker (+0.5)

Inventory
 pig tail robe of random colors (equipped)
 flask of cat milk (2 portions)

Spoiler: Dorten Kickbucket (click to show/hide)

HP: 10/10
Skills:
Proficient Dyer (+2.5)

Inventory
 pig tail robe (equipped)
 vial of midnight blue dye

[Dorten]

Hide in the trees. Their robes are clearly evil.

[Siquo]

DAMN!

Lesson learned: Never follow Nuke's plans.

Can I get a....

"Told you so, told you so, told you told you told you so" 

[Haspen]

SO CLOSE!

YES!

YESSSS! :3

[dwarfguy2]

RUN.

[Ultimuh]

Wait.. what is this? I take the flask and hold it infront, examining while ignoring the elf who probably went away by now.
This is.. a trange feeling I have.. I.. I feel.. inspired! An idea is forming in my head!

[IronyOwl]

DAMN!

Lesson learned: Never follow Nuke's plans.

Can I get a....

"Told you so, told you so, told you told you told you so" 

Yeah, should've murdered him and worn his head like a hat when I had the chance.

[Haspen]

TO DO by Zan Doompowder:

-Conquer the world with lye(s), obviously.
-Recover Marble Figurine of Random_missingno

[Bardum Idith]

POKE
(@webadict)