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[iceball3]

Ahhh...
What have you done?
It doesn't drool urine! By putting that there you made it look just plain sick.
Otherwise, not too bad. Just a couple of more small inaccuracies is in the way.

[blackmagechill]

Spoiler: Samthere should click this link (click to show/hide)

http://knowyourmeme.com/icons/138/original/Picture_2.png?1239409522

[Cheddarius]

Spoiler: Samthere should click this link (click to show/hide)

http://knowyourmeme.com/icons/138/original/Picture_2.png?1239409522

hott

[Samthere]

Spoiler: Samthere should click this link (click to show/hide)

http://knowyourmeme.com/icons/138/original/Picture_2.png?1239409522

hott

Right?

[Bardum Idith]

Gnnn.. this boy.. dont know what soap is? That.. is..
Ignore the brat and look around some more for that soap workshop.

You run all around the fortress, but...
There is NO SOAPERY!!!

>_

>Read Book again. For real this time. No more pissing about. Seriously.

Sanity check(>5): d6=6
You gain more knowledge of the sentient races' depravity. Bah!
You also explore that this hideous book was written by some "Ngug".

Bubbles "Mc"Warhead, Soap Maker, is more experienced!
You are an Adequate Wizard now!

>_

Attempt to perform first aid on myself, healing my wounds. Barring that, suggest we take a nap to recover.

Iron Boatbucket, Fish Cleaner, cancels dressing wounds: Needs over 9000 plant cloth!
You suggest a nap...

"Oh, uhh, you want to sleep here? I.. better stay awake, just in case..."

Then you lie down on the hard cavern floor...

"Never!"

THROW THE BARREL!

hit: d6-2=1, evade: d6=5, sturdyness: d6=6
You throw your barrel at the demon, but he quickly steps aside!


You comrades seem to regain their senses...

hit: d6-1=3, evade: d6=2, dmg: 3d10=21
The demon slices open your chest for 4 points of damage!

hit: d6-1+1=5, evade: d6=5
The marksdwarf shoots a bolt at the demon and nearly hits him.

>_


Status:

Spoiler: Ficeri (click to show/hide)

HP: 3/10

Natural Armor:
 (6) Head: 3
 (5-4) Upper Body: 5
 (3) Lower Body:3
 (2) Arms: 4
 (1) Legs: 4

Equipment
 worn phantom spider silk dress (equipped)

Spoiler: Homunculus (click to show/hide)

HP: 4/5
Lust and Depravity!

Natural Armor:
 (6-4) Upper Body: 4
 (3) Arms: 3
 (2) Lower Body:2
 (1) Legs: 3

Attacks
 Kick: hit-1, 1d10 dmg
 Punch: hit+0, 1d6 dmg

Spoiler: Unholy Guard (click to show/hide)

HP: 10/10

Natural Armor:
 (6) Head: 4
 (5-4) Upper Body: 6
 (3) Lower Body:4
 (2) Arms: 5
 (1) Legs: 5

Attacks
 Punch: hit+0, 1d12 dmg
 Clownite Scythe: hit-1, 3d10 dmg

Spoiler: Iron Boatbucket (click to show/hide)

HP: 6/10
Skills:
 Competent Fish Cleaner (+1.5)
 Novice Striker (+0.5)
 Novice Herbalist (+0.5)
 Novice Cook (+0.5)
 Novice Animal Trainer (+0.5)
 Novice Dodger (+0.5)

Inventory
 wooden spear: hit+1, 1d12+3 dmg (equipped)
 elk bird horn: hit-1, 2d8 dmg (equipped)
 leather armor (equipped)
 pig tail robe
 1 ration of plump helmet stew
 marble figurine of a lolcat, zleeping

Spoiler: Bubbles "Mc"Warhead (click to show/hide)

HP: 6/10
Skills:
 Proficient Soap Maker (+2.5)
 Adequate Wizard (+1.0)
 Novice Dodger (+0.5)
 
Inventory
 balanced spinal cord: hit+0, 1d20-4 dmg (equipped)
 pig tail robe of the soapmakers' guild (equipped)
 Isethònul Bistökzuntîr
 2 rotten puppy ears
 branch: hit-1, 1d12 dmg
 1 piece of soap
 stange old paper

Spoiler: Urist Barrelburns (click to show/hide)

HP: 8/10
Skills:
Proficient Soap Maker (+2.5)

Inventory
 dirty pig tail robe of the soapmakers' guild (equipped)
 rusty knife: hit-1, 1d6+1 dmg

Spoiler: Urdim Milkman (click to show/hide)

HP: 6/10
Skills:
Competent Milker (+1.5)

Inventory
 pig tail robe (equipped)

[Haspen]

Should've looked around for pig tails, Iron

LOL @Figurine

[dwarfguy2]

"That's it! I've had my hands bit off... my flesh made into a hat... I'VE BEEN FED NAPALM ON FIRE COVERED IN BROKEN GLASS... but I draw the line at my chest being sliced open."
INITIATE CHUCK NORRIS ROUNDHOUSE KICK!

Edit: to the dick.

[NUKE9.13]

Homieunculus fanservice- oh gods- oh gods- oh gods...

>I open a dark dimension in which to trap the homieunculus as that I may never have to see its disturbing visage again.

[Ultimuh]

No soapery? No.. soapery anywhere?
I.. why.. where?

...



You know that kind of mood a dwarf enters when he MUST have a workshop but there is none for his profession nearby?

[Bardum Idith]

Hint: Press (b)-(w)-(s)!

[Ultimuh]

Hint: Press (b)-(w)-(s)!

Fine.. no bezerking dwarf this round then.

Dismantle a random workshop and build a soapery of it's materials.

[Haspen]

Hey, lower body should have armor of 3 due to PANTIEZ.

[Bardum Idith]

The pantiez are fanservice-exclusive

[IronyOwl]

Sleep soundly and well, knowing the odds of a twin-headed horror belching acid onto my soft entrails and messily sucking up the resulting slurry like a thick chocolate milkshake are "pretty low."

And yeah, I'm gonna have to find some thread some time. If for no other reason than to fashion myself sexier duds.

[Bardum Idith]

INITIATE CHUCK NORRIS ROUNDHOUSE KICK!

Edit: to the dick.

Chuck-check(>3): d6=5, hit: d6=5, evade: d6=5
Argh! You attempt to roundhouse kick the demon but it just moves it's genitals out of reach!

hit: d6-1+1=1, evade: d6=4
The marksdwarf misses the demon another time.


The speardwarf shouts some weird prayers to the cave-heavens!

hit: d6=5, evade: d6=6
Also the swordsdwarf is unable to hit that damn thing...

hit: d6-1+2=6, evade: d6=6
That's just evil...


hit: d6-1=5, evade: d6=5
At least the swordsdwarf is capable of evading, too.

>_

>I open a dark dimension in which to trap the homieunculus as that I may never have to see its disturbing visage again.

Wizardry check(>5): d6+1=5
You try hard, but the dimensional bounds are a bit too strong for you...
The homunculus stupidly stares at you.

>_

Dismantle a random workshop and build a soapery of it's materials.

Despite there being a room full of materials just below, you topple a crafter's workshop to obtain a piece of gabbro.

"Whoa! You are supposed to pown a WORKSHOP? Maaan!"

Oh! You need a bucket to construct a soapery...

>_

Sleep soundly and well, knowing the odds of a twin-headed horror belching acid onto my soft entrails and messily sucking up the resulting slurry like a thick chocolate milkshake are "pretty low."

hidden dream roll
You sleep peacefully, dreaming of trees and the sky and giant butterflies. Elfy!
You get 1 HP!

>...


Status:

Spoiler: Ficeri (click to show/hide)

HP: 3/10

Natural Armor:
 (6) Head: 3
 (5-4) Upper Body: 5
 (3) Lower Body:3
 (2) Arms: 4
 (1) Legs: 4

Equipment
 worn phantom spider silk dress (equipped)

Spoiler: Homunculus (click to show/hide)

HP: 4/5

Natural Armor:
 (6-4) Upper Body: 4
 (3) Arms: 3
 (2) Lower Body:2
 (1) Legs: 3

Attacks
 Kick: hit-1, 1d10 dmg
 Punch: hit+0, 1d6 dmg

Spoiler: Unholy Guard (click to show/hide)

HP: 10/10

Natural Armor:
 (6) Head: 4
 (5-4) Upper Body: 6
 (3) Lower Body:4
 (2) Arms: 5
 (1) Legs: 5

Attacks
 Punch: hit+0, 1d12 dmg
 Clownite Scythe: hit-1, 3d10 dmg

Spoiler: Iron Boatbucket (click to show/hide)

HP: 7/10
Skills:
 Competent Fish Cleaner (+1.5)
 Novice Striker (+0.5)
 Novice Herbalist (+0.5)
 Novice Cook (+0.5)
 Novice Animal Trainer (+0.5)
 Novice Dodger (+0.5)

Inventory
 wooden spear: hit+1, 1d12+3 dmg (equipped)
 elk bird horn: hit-1, 2d8 dmg (equipped)
 leather armor (equipped)
 pig tail robe
 1 ration of plump helmet stew
 marble figurine of dreams

Spoiler: Bubbles "Mc"Warhead (click to show/hide)

HP: 6/10
Skills:
 Proficient Soap Maker (+2.5)
 Adequate Wizard (+1.0)
 Novice Dodger (+0.5)
 
Inventory
 balanced spinal cord: hit+0, 1d20-4 dmg (equipped)
 pig tail robe of the soapmakers' guild (equipped)
 Isethònul Bistökzuntîr
 2 rotten puppy ears
 branch: hit-1, 1d12 dmg
 1 piece of soap
 stange old paper

Spoiler: Urist Barrelburns (click to show/hide)

HP: 8/10
Skills:
Proficient Soap Maker (+2.5)

Inventory
 stone of gabbro (hauled)
 dirty pig tail robe of the soapmakers' guild (equipped)
 rusty knife: hit-1, 1d6+1 dmg

Spoiler: Urdim Milkman (click to show/hide)

HP: 6/10
Skills:
Competent Milker (+1.5)

Inventory
 pig tail robe (equipped)