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[NUKE9.13]

>Go back and retrieve spine.
I'll leave the book alone now. (Unless people want me to continue trying to read it)

[IronyOwl]

No HP up. The waiting list is long enough 

Aw man.


Slightly dejectedly declare "Hey, I had to feed both heads to get it to do that. How can you just sing to it like that?"

Also introduce myself and so on.

[Sheb]

I'll leave the book alone now. (Unless people want me to continue trying to read it)

Of course we want you to read it! Do you know how long that waiting list is? 

[Samthere]

Replace your spine with your new shivering one. It'll make you a hit with the ladies.

[Urist McOverlord]

Replace your spine with your new shivering one. It'll make you a hit with the ladies.

This. Dear god this.

[maxicaxi]

I'll leave the book alone now. (Unless people want me to continue trying to read it)

Of course we want you to read it! Do you know how long that waiting list is? 

[Bardum Idith]

"not a metal specialist. milked demons once for practice. learned about it."
"no. don't attack them. they are basically the most dangerous non-dragon being in the universe."
"run fast, far and unstopping."

"Okay, let's run. FAST, FAR AND UNSTOPPING!!"


Then they start running. Fast far and unstopping!
You follow them for a while...

>_

>Take a good look at the guard's face. I will remember that face. Such rudeness deserves to be put on my soapy list!
I'll head into the.. dwarvenly cave to find the soapery for myself.

Looking for the soapery you spot a workshop next to a wooden shed. It seems to be a butchery, bot no soapery is near...


In the fortress you find a big workshop room without a soapery.
A child is here demolishing a section of floor.

>_

>Go back and retrieve spine.

You equip your spine. The homunculus is still standing here. The book is closed again.

>_

Slightly dejectedly declare "Hey, I had to feed both heads to get it to do that. How can you just sing to it like that?"

Also introduce myself and so on.

Ficeri slowly steps away from the monster and indicates you to follow her while continuing to sing.

>_


Status:

Spoiler: Green Devourer (click to show/hide)

HP: 10/12

Natural Armor:
 (6-5) Tentacles: 3
 (4-3) Body: 5
 (1-2) Legs:4

Attacks
 Kick: hit-1, 1d20 dmg
 Bite: hit+0, 2d6 dmg, attacks d2 times
 Acid Spit: hit-1, 2d4-1 dmg per turn, incredibly inaccurate (proven by SCIENCE)

Spoiler: Ficeri (click to show/hide)

HP: 3/10

Natural Armor:
 (6) Head: 3
 (5-4) Upper Body: 5
 (3) Lower Body:3
 (2) Arms: 4
 (1) Legs: 4

Equipment
 worn phantom spider silk dress (equipped)

Spoiler: Homunculus (click to show/hide)

HP: 3/5

Natural Armor:
 (6-4) Upper Body: 4
 (3) Arms: 3
 (2) Lower Body:2
 (1) Legs: 3

Attacks
 Kick: hit-1, 1d10 dmg
 Punch: hit+0, 1d6 dmg

Spoiler: Dwarven Child (click to show/hide)

 HP: 6/6
 Natural Armor:
 (6) Head: 3
 (5-4) Upper Body: 5
 (3) Lower Body:3
 (2) Arms: 4
 (1) Legs: 4
 
 Attacks
 Punch: hit+0, 1d8 dmg
 Kick: hit-1, 1d12 dmg
 Bite: hit+0, 2d4 dmg

Spoiler: Iron Boatbucket (click to show/hide)

HP: 6/10
Skills:
 Competent Fish Cleaner (+1.5)
 Novice Striker (+0.5)
 Novice Herbalist (+0.5)
 Novice Cook (+0.5)
 Novice Animal Trainer (+0.5)
 Novice Dodger (+0.5)

Inventory
 wooden spear: hit+1, 1d12+3 dmg (equipped)
 elk bird horn: hit-1, 2d8 dmg (equipped)
 leather armor (equipped)
 pig tail robe
 1 ration of plump helmet stew
 marble figurine of thread resurrection

Spoiler: Bubbles "Mc"Warhead (click to show/hide)

HP: 6/10
Skills:
 Proficient Soap Maker (+2.5)
 Novice Dodger (+0.5)
 Novice Wizard (+0.5)
 
Inventory
 balanced spinal cord: hit+0, 1d20-4 dmg (equipped)
 pig tail robe of the soapmakers' guild (equipped)
 Isethònul Bistökzuntîr
 2 rotten puppy ears
 branch: hit-1, 1d12 dmg
 1 piece of soap
 stange old paper

Spoiler: Urist Barrelburns (click to show/hide)

HP: 8/10
Skills:
Proficient Soap Maker (+2.5)

Inventory
 dirty pig tail robe of the soapmakers' guild (equipped)
 rusty knife: hit-1, 1d6+1 dmg

Spoiler: Urdim Milkman (click to show/hide)

HP: 10/10
Skills:
Competent Milker (+1.5)

Inventory
 pig tail robe (equipped)
 barrel of 3 portions of cat milk

[Ultimuh]

>Ask the boy in your usually soapy manner were the soapery is. "Soap?"

[dwarfguy2]

RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[IronyOwl]

Reluctantly but quietly follow Ficeri.

[NUKE9.13]

I'll leave the book alone now. (Unless people want me to continue trying to read it)

Of course we want you to read it! Do you know how long that waiting list is? 

Well. The masses have spoken.
>Threaten to use my awesome wizardry skill to burn the book unless it opens up right now and cuts out the whole 'mind numbing horror' business. I mean it!

[Dorten]

bump?

[maxicaxi]

*POKE*

[SHAD0Wdump]

Who else here thinks the homieunculus is cute? Anybody?

Oh come on, it's not that horrible, it just smells funny... And has a unsettling texture, shape... glowing red eyes. But it's still cuuute!

[Demonic Spoon]

Oh sure, it's totally cute, in a horrible sort of way.