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[Hugehead]

"probably some rare breed of demons dragons milk dragons duds . i recognize that color of metal. adamantine."

Fix'd.

my dorf is dragon MILK crazy, not that DRAGON crazy

Ah, sorry.

Fix'd

That better?

[IronyOwl]

Demon milk would probably be very valuable, you should totally try it.

Anyway, grab the mentally unsound dwarf and shake him yelling "SNAP OUT OF IT MAN," hoping the acid continues to do its job and the devourer continues to be confused.

[NUKE9.13]

Bubble.

[Sheb]

Add me on the loooong waiting list please.

I'd like a Small Animal Dissector called Weirdstudent the Bane of Insects. He basically is looking for knowledge about stuff smaller than him (and he like torturing them too)

[Siquo]

Oh, and confirm my spot in the list, I just noticed I was there with a (?).

[IronyOwl]

17 people on the waiting list.

[Siquo]

Because of awesome. Bardum is being a great DM here, throwing stuff at people who don't know what to do, and letting silly people do what they want to do, walking the fine line between seriousness and sillyness, and keeping excellent balance, in the spirit of the original Peasant Adventure.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Well, does that sucking up gain me some places on the waiting list?

[Dorten]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Well, does that sucking up gain me some places on the waiting list?

It dstroyed the thread!!!

[Siquo]

... apparently.

[Bardum Idith]

Add me on the loooong waiting list please.

I'd like a Small Animal Dissector called Weirdstudent the Bane of Insects. He basically is looking for knowledge about stuff smaller than him (and he like torturing them too)

Hmmm, Animal Dissector is not on the profession list, but it's useless enough...

And this list is really getting loooong. Somebody should start Soap Maker Adventure!

"probably some rare breed of demons. i recognize that color of metal. adamantine."

"So you are a metal specialist? Do you think we should attack them?"

>_

>The guard said soap! Say soap out loud while repeatedly pointing at myself.

You soapily point at yourself. The guard has become enraged!


hit: d6+2=5, evade: d6=3, dmg: d12+5=10
The guard stabs your leg for 2 points of damage!

"Go in and find some work now, lazy goblin breed!"

>_

Anyway, grab the mentally unsound dwarf and shake him yelling "SNAP OUT OF IT MAN," hoping the acid continues to do its job and the devourer continues to be confused.

You attemp to help the dwarf with an improvised shaking therapy...
psychology check(>4): d6=6
You manage to calm down the dwarf!

Meanwhile the chains crumble to rust and Ficeri stands up.


hit: d6-1=3, evade: d6=3
The devourer tries to kick Iron, but he evades the attack!

Iron Boatbucket, Fish Cleaner, is more experienced!
You are a Novice Dodger now!

hidden dice roll
Ficeri sings something in the elven tongue. The devourer listens patiently!

>_

Status:

Spoiler: Green Devourer (click to show/hide)

HP: 10/12

Natural Armor:
 (6-5) Tentacles: 3
 (4-3) Body: 5
 (1-2) Legs:4

Attacks
 Kick: hit-1, 1d20 dmg
 Bite: hit+0, 2d6 dmg, attacks d2 times
 Acid Spit: hit-1, 2d4-1 dmg per turn, incredibly inaccurate (proven by SCIENCE)

Spoiler: Ficeri (click to show/hide)

HP: 3/10

Natural Armor:
 (6) Head: 3
 (5-4) Upper Body: 5
 (3) Lower Body:3
 (2) Arms: 4
 (1) Legs: 4

Equipment
 worn phantom spider silk dress (equipped)

Spoiler: Iron Boatbucket (click to show/hide)

HP: 6/10
Skills:
 Competent Fish Cleaner (+1.5)
 Novice Striker (+0.5)
 Novice Herbalist (+0.5)
 Novice Cook (+0.5)
 Novice Animal Trainer (+0.5)
 Novice Dodger (+0.5)

Inventory
 wooden spear: hit+1, 1d12+3 dmg (equipped)
 elk bird horn: hit-1, 2d8 dmg (equipped)
 leather armor (equipped)
 pig tail robe
 1 ration of plump helmet stew
 marble figurine of the elven tongue

Spoiler: Bubbles "Mc"Warhead (click to show/hide)

HP: 6/10
Skills:
 Proficient Soap Maker (+2.5)
 Novice Dodger (+0.5)
 Novice Wizard (+0.5)
 
Inventory
 pig tail robe of the soapmakers' guild (equipped)
 Isethònul Bistökzuntîr
 2 rotten puppy ears
 branch: hit-1, 1d12 dmg
 1 piece of soap
 stange old paper

Spoiler: Urist Barrelburns (click to show/hide)

HP: 8/10
Skills:
Proficient Soap Maker (+2.5)

Inventory
 dirty pig tail robe of the soapmakers' guild (equipped)
 rusty knife: hit-1, 1d6+1 dmg

Spoiler: Urdim Milkman (click to show/hide)

HP: 10/10
Skills:
Competent Milker (+1.5)

Inventory
 pig tail robe (equipped)
 barrel of 3 portions of cat milk

[maxicaxi]

how much damage does an unarmed attack do?

[dwarfguy2]

"not a metal specialist. milked demons once for practice. learned about it."
"no. don't attack them. they are basically the most dangerous non-dragon being in the universe."
"run fast, far and unstopping."

[maxicaxi]

how many physical stats do you need for HP up?

[Bardum Idith]

how much damage does an unarmed attack do?

Spoiler: Profile of a dwarf (click to show/hide)

 Natural Armor:
 Head: 3
 Arms: 4
 Upper Body: 5
 Lower Body:4
 Legs: 4
 
 Attacks
 Punch: hit+0, 1d8 dmg
 Kick: hit-1, 1d12 dmg
 Bite: hit+0, 2d4 dmg
 Hairthresh: hit+1, 1d6 dmg

how many physical stats do you need for HP up?

No HP up. The waiting list is long enough 

[Ultimuh]

>Take a good look at the guard's face. I will remember that face. Such rudeness deserves to be put on my soapy list!
I'll head into the.. dwarvenly cave to find the soapery for myself.