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[iceball3]

As you read the first letters a vision of indescribable horror overcomes you!
(Luckiely I don't have to describe it!)
You don't think you want to read this. Really.

Did he read the post history of 4chan?
That would explain it

[NUKE9.13]

You throw away your spinal cord. Well, it's not really your spinal cord, so...

SEMANTICS

You don't think you want to read this. Really.

I WILL READ THIS BOOK IF I HAVE TO TAKE A SANITY CHECK FOR EVERY LETTER OF EVERY WORD

>READ THE BOOK HARDER

[Ultimuh]

>Follow the road. Meet a guard. Stand obnoxiously close to him/her while repeating what I did to the other guy.

[Bardum Idith]

"Are they mammals?"

The leechmen aren't.
The brave soldiers were mammals, though.

As you read the first letters a vision of indescribable horror overcomes you!
(Luckiely I don't have to describe it!)
You don't think you want to read this. Really.

Did he read the post history of 4chan?
That would explain it

This book is something far more evil...

[Armok]

More evil than 4chan?

Sorry, I'll have to call bull****.

[dwarfguy2]

"Eh, whatever. Could still use some fighting skill to knock out the dragon."

[iceball3]

More evil than 4chan?

Sorry, I'll have to call bull****.

I agree 100%.
Seriously, it's just plain unfair for something like that... I mean, should't his sanity checks get a -5 penalty?

[IronyOwl]

Note to self: Dice like taming checks and hate special attacks of any kind.

Call out "Sure, I've got an idea!"

Run over to chained elf and rub acid off on chains. If that fails, stand sort of near the chains so the devourer's attacks miss me and dissolve them.

[Bardum Idith]

>READ THE BOOK HARDER

You force yourself to continue reading...
Sanity check(>5): d6=2
You read the most unlogical and depraved bit of text a dwarf has ever seen. You cant take more of that...
That's too much for your dwarven mind...
You lose control...

>Follow the road. Meet a guard. Stand obnoxiously close to him/her while repeating what I did to the other guy.

You enter the walled area of the dwarven outpost looking for a guard.
Finally you find one and soapgreet him. He doesn't really seem to be pleased:
"What?! Get working, you filthy child of an elf, or do you want to try out the new drowning chamber?"
"By the way, you could really use a piece of soap and some water!"

>_

"Eh, whatever. Could still use some fighting skill to knock out the dragon."

You follow the dwarven soldiers as they go deeper into the cave. After some time you spot two strange persons standing in front of a dark pyramid.
You and your comrades hide behind some rocks...


"What the hell are those things? And what strange metal are their weapons made of?"
"They definitely look unholy. We should be careful if we are going to approach them..."

>_

Run over to chained elf and rub acid off on chains. If that fails, stand sort of near the chains so the devourer's attacks miss me and dissolve them.

You rub the slime off on the rusty chains. It works surprisingly well.
The elven woman seems to get your plan.
"Acid? That might work..."


Shortly after that the green devourer catches up and makes ready to attack you...
But he is disturbed by a crazy dwarf who is running towards you, screaming.
He seems to be in dire need of psychological help!

>_


Status:

Spoiler: Green Devourer (click to show/hide)

HP: 10/12

Natural Armor:
 (6-5) Tentacles: 3
 (4-3) Body: 5
 (1-2) Legs:4

Attacks
 Kick: hit-1, 1d20 dmg
 Bite: hit+0, 2d6 dmg, attacks d2 times
 Acid Spit: hit-1, 2d4-1 dmg per turn, incredibly inaccurate (proven by SCIENCE)

Spoiler: Homunculus (click to show/hide)

HP: 3/5

Natural Armor:
 (6-4) Upper Body: 4
 (3) Arms: 3
 (2) Lower Body:2
 (1) Legs: 3

Attacks
 Kick: hit-1, 1d10 dmg
 Punch: hit+0, 1d6 dmg

Spoiler: Iron Boatbucket (click to show/hide)

HP: 6/10
Skills:
 Competent Fish Cleaner (+1.5)
 Novice Striker (+0.5)
 Novice Herbalist (+0.5)
 Novice Cook (+0.5)
 Novice Animal Trainer (+0.5)

Inventory
 wooden spear: hit+1, 1d12+3 dmg (equipped)
 elk bird horn: hit-1, 2d8 dmg (equipped)
 leather armor (equipped)
 pig tail robe
 1 ration of plump helmet stew
 marble figurine of a damaged brain

Spoiler: Bubbles "Mc"Warhead (click to show/hide)

HP: 6/10
INSANE
Skills:
 Proficient Soap Maker (+2.5)
 Novice Dodger (+0.5)
 Novice Wizard (+0.5)
 
Inventory
 pig tail robe of the soapmakers' guild (equipped)
 Isethònul Bistökzuntîr
 2 rotten puppy ears
 branch: hit-1, 1d12 dmg
 1 piece of soap
 stange old paper

Spoiler: Urist Barrelburns (click to show/hide)

HP: 10/10
Skills:
Proficient Soap Maker (+2.5)

Inventory
 dirty pig tail robe of the soapmakers' guild (equipped)
 rusty knife: hit-1, 1d6+1 dmg

Spoiler: Urdim Milkman (click to show/hide)

HP: 10/10
Skills:
Competent Milker (+1.5)

Inventory
 pig tail robe (equipped)
 barrel of 3 portions of cat milk

[dwarfguy2]

"probably some rare breed of demons. i recognize that color of metal. adamantine."

[Ultimuh]

>The guard said soap! Say soap out loud while repeatedly pointing at myself.
Hopefully he could show me the way to the nearest soapery.

(I just hope it's not the drowning chamber, I dont want my short adventure to end prematurely.)

[Haspen]

"probably some rare breed of demons dragons. i recognize that color of metal. adamantine."

Fix'd.

[dwarfguy2]

"probably some rare breed of demons dragons. i recognize that color of metal. adamantine."

Fix'd.

my dorf is dragon MILK crazy, not that DRAGON crazy

[Haspen]

"probably some rare breed of demons dragons milk dragons. i recognize that color of metal. adamantine."

Fix'd.

my dorf is dragon MILK crazy, not that DRAGON crazy

Ah, sorry.

Fix'd

[dwarfguy2]

*facepalm*