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[IronyOwl]

Three turns isn't gonna cut it, we need some AI in here.

IF(Thing Moves)
  Hit With Stick
ELSE
  IF(Thing Smells Tasty)
    Eat Thing
  ELSE
    Find Thing That Moves

Granted, this'll make diplomacy a wee bit tricky, what with the killing and eating everything, but it's the only way to make sure!

[Bardum Idith]

Code: [Select]

IF(Thing Moves)
  Hit With Stick
ELSE
  IF(Thing Smells Tasty)
    Eat Thing
  ELSE
    Find Thing That Moves
ERROR at line 8: End condition expected!

>Charge at the fog.

You charge through the fog. It loses some of its matter!


hid: d6=5, evade: d6=5
The fog punches you for 2 points of damage!

>_

Follow the puppies to the pyramid. It's where I was trying to go anyway.

The puppies enter the pyramid, but two guards block your way.
They stare at you with glowing eyes. Silently.
The ROY-ALA-TEE is still doing lighty stuff.

>_

Examine SHINY BUTTONS!

They are just plain stone buttons. You can press them. No shinieness involved.
You feel an unholy aura surrounding you...

>_


Status:

Spoiler: Fog Demon (click to show/hide)

HP: less

Attacks
Punch: hit+0, 1d12 dmg

Spoiler: Unholy Guard (click to show/hide)

HP: 10

Natural Armor:
 (6) Head: 4
 (5-4) Upper Body: 6
 (3) Lower Body:4
 (2) Arms: 5
 (1) Legs: 5

Attacks
 Punch: hit+0, 1d12 dmg
 Clownite Scythe: hit-1, 3d10 dmg

Spoiler: Iron Boatbucket (click to show/hide)

HP: 8/10
Skills:
 Competent Fish Cleaner (+1.5)
 Novice Striker (+0.5)
 Novice Herbalist (+0.5)
 Novice Cook (+0.5)

Inventory
 Ikudmeng Dodók Nďng: armor+2 (equipped)
 wooden spear: hit+1, 1d12+3 dmg (equipped)
 elk bird horn: hit-1, 2d8 dmg (equipped)
 leather armor (equipped)
 pig tail robe
 3 rations of plump helmet stew
 marble figurine of an elephant leg

Spoiler: Bubbles "Mc"Warhead (click to show/hide)

HP: 6/10
Skills:
 Proficient Soap Maker (+2.5)
 Novice Dodger (+0.5)
 
Inventory
 pig tail robe of the soapmakers' guild (equipped)
 Isethňnul Bistökzuntîr (equipped)
 spinal cord: hit-1, 1d20-3 dmg
 2 rotten puppy ears
 branch: hit-1, 1d12 dmg
 1 piece of soap
 stange old paper

Spoiler: Mish Forkscorn (click to show/hide)

HP: 8/10
Skills:
 Proficient Cheese Maker (+2.5)
 
Inventory
 cave spider silk robe (equipped)
 skull with rotten skin
 dirty +draltha cheese+
 unprepared zombie brain

[IronyOwl]

Not shiny? Curses... though I guess now I won't be tempted to pry them out and keep them, which is good.

Glance around for the source of the unholy aura. If I don't see anything, press the button in the rightmost column, second row from the top.

[Halmie]

Oh, I was thinking I would be replaced or killed, I've got internet for about a week (but I won't be on much) then none for a week, also sorry for the short notice.

Some turns if the fog continues surviving:
1. Inhale fog, attempting to absorb it.
2. Attempt to blow fog away.
3. Demoralize it with an RNG insult.
4. Beard whip?
5. Give it the zombie brain as a gift then flying kick through its mass.

[NUKE9.13]

>Give guard strange old paper and shout angrily that this sort of thing just won't do.

[Bardum Idith]

Glance around for the source of the unholy aura. If I don't see anything, press the button in the rightmost column, second row from the top.

You look around but see nothing special. The aura is everywhere and consists of pure fear. It cannot be seen.
You push down the button. After a while it returns to its previous position and you hear the sound of rotating gears.

>_

1. Inhale fog, attempting to absorb it.

You inhale a bit of the fog, but your lungs are way too small to cause serious damage.
The fog is a bit thinner now.


The fog seems to be angry!
hit: d6=1, evade:d6=6
You jump away from the fog's attack! It woldn't have hit you anyways...

>_

>Give guard strange old paper and shout angrily that this sort of thing just won't do.

You offer the guard the old paper and shout silly stuff at him.
Strangely, he responds peacefully: "Prove your depravity!"

>_


Status:

Spoiler: Fog Demon (click to show/hide)

HP: thinning out

Attacks
Punch: hit+0, 1d12 dmg

Spoiler: Unholy Guard (click to show/hide)

HP: 10

Natural Armor:
 (6) Head: 4
 (5-4) Upper Body: 6
 (3) Lower Body:4
 (2) Arms: 5
 (1) Legs: 5

Attacks
 Punch: hit+0, 1d12 dmg
 Clownite Scythe: hit-1, 3d10 dmg

Spoiler: Iron Boatbucket (click to show/hide)

HP: 8/10
Skills:
 Competent Fish Cleaner (+1.5)
 Novice Striker (+0.5)
 Novice Herbalist (+0.5)
 Novice Cook (+0.5)

Inventory
 Ikudmeng Dodók Nďng: armor+2 (equipped)
 wooden spear: hit+1, 1d12+3 dmg (equipped)
 elk bird horn: hit-1, 2d8 dmg (equipped)
 leather armor (equipped)
 pig tail robe
 3 rations of plump helmet stew
 marble figurine of doom

Spoiler: Bubbles "Mc"Warhead (click to show/hide)

HP: 6/10
Skills:
 Proficient Soap Maker (+2.5)
 Novice Dodger (+0.5)
 
Inventory
 pig tail robe of the soapmakers' guild (equipped)
 Isethňnul Bistökzuntîr (equipped)
 spinal cord: hit-1, 1d20-3 dmg
 2 rotten puppy ears
 branch: hit-1, 1d12 dmg
 1 piece of soap
 stange old paper

Spoiler: Mish Forkscorn (click to show/hide)

HP: 8/10
Skills:
 Proficient Cheese Maker (+2.5)
 
Inventory
 cave spider silk robe (equipped)
 skull with rotten skin
 dirty +draltha cheese+
 unprepared zombie brain

[Haspen]

lol@ 'marble figurine of doom'

Also. Prove your depravity? Oh dear.

[IronyOwl]

Swallow in trepidation, then press the upper rightmost button, then the leftmost button third from the top, then the rightmost button third from the top.

lol@ 'marble figurine of doom'

Also. Prove your depravity? Oh dear.

Wink wink nudge nudge.

[NUKE9.13]

Wordlessly brandish puppy ears.

[IronyOwl]

Wordlessly brandish puppy ears.

That is... actually incredible. I'm in awe of your handling of this.

[Samthere]

THREAD:
An Corp

[Haspen]

Hey, don't mutilate the thread, it's not dead, and Bardum was on forums like, two days ago. Give him tiiiiime.

[Bardum Idith]

IT LIVES! (again)

2. Attempt to blow fog away.

You blow at the fog demon. It is badly hurt!


hit: d6=1, evade: d6=1
The fog demon fails to hit you!

Mish Forkscorn, Cheese Maker, is more experienced!
You are a Novice Dodger now!

>_

Swallow in trepidation, then press the upper rightmost button, then the leftmost button

third from the top, then the rightmost button third from the top.

You swallow down some air. It makes you BURP!


You press the buttons. After a while they unpush themselves and the gears move again.
It's getting hot in here...

>_

Wordlessly brandish puppy ears.

You brandish the puppy remains. The guards seem to be shocked. After a moment of hesitation they move aside to let you pass.
You can either enter the pyramid through the door or run around on the pyramid's platform, which seems to be quite large, but not very interesting.
Or go back...

>_


Status:

Spoiler: Fog Demon (click to show/hide)

HP: small

Attacks
Punch: hit+0, 1d10 dmg

Spoiler: Unholy Guard (click to show/hide)

HP: 10

Natural Armor:
 (6) Head: 4
 (5-4) Upper Body: 6
 (3) Lower Body:4
 (2) Arms: 5
 (1) Legs: 5

Attacks
 Punch: hit+0, 1d12 dmg
 Clownite Scythe: hit-1, 3d10 dmg

Spoiler: Iron Boatbucket (click to show/hide)

HP: 8/10
Skills:
 Competent Fish Cleaner (+1.5)
 Novice Striker (+0.5)
 Novice Herbalist (+0.5)
 Novice Cook (+0.5)

Inventory
 Ikudmeng Dodók Nďng: armor+2 (equipped)
 wooden spear: hit+1, 1d12+3 dmg (equipped)
 elk bird horn: hit-1, 2d8 dmg (equipped)
 leather armor (equipped)
 pig tail robe
 3 rations of plump helmet stew
 marble figurine of a solid fog demon

Spoiler: Bubbles "Mc"Warhead (click to show/hide)

HP: 6/10
Skills:
 Proficient Soap Maker (+2.5)
 Novice Dodger (+0.5)
 
Inventory
 pig tail robe of the soapmakers' guild (equipped)
 Isethňnul Bistökzuntîr (equipped)
 2 rotten puppy ears (brandished)
 spinal cord: hit-1, 1d20-3 dmg
 branch: hit-1, 1d12 dmg
 1 piece of soap
 stange old paper

Spoiler: Mish Forkscorn (click to show/hide)

HP: 8/10
Skills:
 Proficient Cheese Maker (+2.5)
 Novice Dodger (+0.5)
 
Inventory
 cave spider silk robe (equipped)
 skull with rotten skin
 dirty +draltha cheese+
 unprepared zombie brain

[Haspen]

Was that a Norwegian burp? xD

Also, awesome as always. *checks the abstract figurine*

[IronyOwl]

Awesome. Was going to ask about it, but I thought we might be waiting on Halmie, who'll supposedly be back soon anyway.

In any case, leave my delicious warm stew behind and dart back down to see if anything's changed below. If not, run back up, reclaim my stew, swallow heavily, and press ALL THE BUTTONS.

Get ready to run if that's a magma gate.