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Author Topic: 40D: Nancy-boy elves and my artifacts  (Read 1701 times)

The Dog Delusion

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40D: Nancy-boy elves and my artifacts
« on: April 07, 2010, 04:05:46 am »

So I've been bouncing between a new fort in 40d and the myriad forts (that keep failing) in DF2010. In my 40d fort, I had a strange mood in my second summer, and I resulted in a solid gold mace. Not all bad, if I do say so myself, but I only recently checked the description of the sparkly item:


Like...wtf? I've seen so many artifacts detailing every bloody incident in so many world gens, and this is the first time I've seen one that depicts such a ...petty incident. I mean, I know the elves are pretty lame and all that, but to create epics and songs and to inflate the occurrence so thoroughly that some dwarf on the underside of a mountain etches it into a solid gold weapon...well, that's new to me.

« Last Edit: April 07, 2010, 04:07:47 am by Fish »
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Keep in mind that the dwarves are essentially alcoholic toddlers, and act accordingly.

Rakeela

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Re: 40D: Nancy-boy elves and my artifacts
« Reply #1 on: April 07, 2010, 04:10:55 am »

Your dwarf has a good sense of humor.  Poor Omo Crowtorch - what a thing to go down in history for!

Bands of diorite and obsidian?  That would look pretty cool (as long as they didn't break).

The most questionable aspect to me has to be the golden dimple cup.
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The Dog Delusion

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Re: 40D: Nancy-boy elves and my artifacts
« Reply #2 on: April 07, 2010, 04:49:16 am »

The most questionable aspect to me has to be the golden dimple cup.

So I investigated - thinking perhaps that this dwarf is particularly enamored of dimple cups or something. But I was not ready for this:


she likes elves...for their grace. Yeah, that's a euphemistic way of putting it. But mysteriously, no mention of dimple cups. They're just...on the mace for no reason.
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Keep in mind that the dwarves are essentially alcoholic toddlers, and act accordingly.

Asra

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Re: 40D: Nancy-boy elves and my artifacts
« Reply #3 on: April 07, 2010, 05:45:51 am »

Well at least it beats it being a picture of elves cannibalizing dwarfs, like would sometimes happen on my weapons in the old version. I didn't get how that would inspire bravery in battle...
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tomas1297

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Re: 40D: Nancy-boy elves and my artifacts
« Reply #4 on: April 07, 2010, 06:40:38 am »

Well at least it beats it being a picture of elves cannibalizing dwarfs, like would sometimes happen on my weapons in the old version. I didn't get how that would inspire bravery in battle...
By showing that the elves are complete monsters and that the dwarven gods will forgive you for slaughtering them?
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There was a time when cocksuits would have offended me. It's kind of bad that the time has passed.

kotekzot

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Re: 40D: Nancy-boy elves and my artifacts
« Reply #5 on: April 07, 2010, 06:51:40 am »

Well at least it beats it being a picture of elves cannibalizing dwarfs, like would sometimes happen on my weapons in the old version. I didn't get how that would inspire bravery in battle...
By showing that the elves are complete monsters and that the dwarven gods will forgive you for slaughtering them?
Armok rewards slaughter.
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Bro, your like... thinking like a square man... its like, the WHOLE lamprey is just like, one big NECK dude, you know? its like hahahaha! dude protect the trees though, seriously. *inhale*... anyways... you like, want this dead black bear, bro?

Satarus

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Re: 40D: Nancy-boy elves and my artifacts
« Reply #6 on: April 07, 2010, 08:16:23 am »

The pictures of cannibalism is to remind the dwarves of their fate should they fall in battle.  It helps them fight a little bit harder against those Nancy-boy tree humpers.
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You need to make said elf leather into the most amazing work of art.  Embed it with every kind of gem you have, stud it with metals, and sew images into it.  Erect a shrine outside your fort with that in the center.  Let the elves know that you view their very skin as naught more but a medium for your dwarves to work on.

RebelZhouYuWu

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Re: 40D: Nancy-boy elves and my artifacts
« Reply #7 on: April 07, 2010, 02:33:21 pm »

Is the only thing your dwarves eat dimple cups?  Because the line "She has been tired of eating the same old food lately." draws my attention.
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ZeroGravitas

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Re: 40D: Nancy-boy elves and my artifacts
« Reply #8 on: April 07, 2010, 02:37:51 pm »

Is the only thing your dwarves eat dimple cups?  Because the line "She has been tired of eating the same old food lately." draws my attention.

Dimple cups are not edible.
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The Dog Delusion

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Re: 40D: Nancy-boy elves and my artifacts
« Reply #9 on: April 08, 2010, 01:58:16 am »

Is the only thing your dwarves eat dimple cups?  Because the line "She has been tired of eating the same old food lately." draws my attention.

We've only been eating plump helmets for a year or so, since I haven't gotten my full-force farming into swing just yet. I know we've got some dimple cup seeds/spawn around here, but I'm still not sure why this dwarf decided to immortalize one on this artifact...
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Keep in mind that the dwarves are essentially alcoholic toddlers, and act accordingly.

TheDarkJay

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Re: 40D: Nancy-boy elves and my artifacts
« Reply #10 on: April 08, 2010, 06:12:55 am »

The Random Number God has clearly spoken ^^
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PopeRichardCorey

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Re: 40D: Nancy-boy elves and my artifacts
« Reply #11 on: April 08, 2010, 01:42:03 pm »

Well at least it beats it being a picture of elves cannibalizing dwarfs, like would sometimes happen on my weapons in the old version. I didn't get how that would inspire bravery in battle...
By showing that the elves are complete monsters and that the dwarven gods will forgive you for slaughtering them?
More likely that the Dwarven Gods will consider you that much more badass for slaughtering them instead of some humans, who probably just kill their enemies.
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And when you build your fortress walls from the bones of skeletal elephants, slain my weapons forged from melted goblin plunder, fed on cattle that graze on grass that blinks.  Then, you will know dwarfdom.