ROUND 1 EVENT 2
Can you hear the baying of the marmots? They are hungry.
This is event 2 of the first round of the annual Dwarven Gladiatorial Season! I am your announcer and post-match analyst, Urist Cogpulleys. Stay tuned after the match for when we run around a mock arena swinging fake swords at each other and pretending to be knowledgeable about combat tactics.
Today's match is the Jester battle! One one side we have Tala, Taka... Talakamakabalaka the Kobold. Man, them kobolds and their crazy names, right dorfs? Right.
Taka-khan's opponent tonight is someone you all know and love, a pack of raging hoary marmots! Those little furry bastards that creep your constructions and slow down work. Well it took a lot of work and there were a lot of terrified dwarves running around, but we managed to catch a clean dozen yesterday. The battle begins. One kobold. Twelve marmots. One survivor. Unless, of course, the marmots win, then there might be more.
GET IT ON!!
The marmots lunge, but Chakachakapatapon jumps out of the way! The marmots are angry now. Ghazkhull Thraka with an expert block'n'counter, that marmot's gonna be limpi--AND OH ONE'S ON HIM! One of the marmots has him by the arm, and it's off! He shook it off with his expert kobold flailing techniques. It would appear he's using the Spastic Macaw flailing style, originally developed by the kobold sensei Grifgreelbisflurbin. Unforunately, the flaw with that style is that it doesn't do well against multiple opponents and this match is against twelve marmots. Tala Palala is currently buried under the marmots, this isn't looking good. Thankfully all they can really do is dent his skin, these marmots appear to be suffering from the widespread disease Stupid Tooth Syndrome, or STS. Lucky for Takabakalaka, I guess.
I can't even see him anymore, I think he's de--WHOA! Marmot head just flew out of the dogpile, that's one down. I caught it!
Seriously, I just caught this marmot head, what am I supposed to do with this? I have no need for marmot heads. Whatever, I'm throwing it back
Timbuktu's dagger is flying, eviscerating the marmots, but these guys are tough, and they're not going down without a fight! They're bashing and slashing and clawing at his shield but they just can't get a hit through. This is kind of boring.
Hmm. Still holding them off. Occasionally Tipp McCoy gets one with his dagger, but other than that. Hmm... I guess we could start the post game ana--OH ANOTHER DECAPITATION! Once a knife develops a taste for marmot neck, it's all over. More slashing, more blocking, this is a battle of attrition here. It reminds me of the battle on Second Hematite, year 397. Battle much like this, but it was twelve kobolds on one hoary marmot. The kobolds were starving, and started fighting amongst themselves for who would eat the marmot! Craziest thing I've ever seen, eventually they dug trenches in the arena and started starving each other out. The battle ended when it turned out the marmot was actually part of a mammoth's trunk. It was buried in the dirt of the arena and climbed out. All the kobolds died as well as 30-something dorfs, one hell of a battle.
Anyway, back to the fight. Tamanakapala is still slowly wearing away at them, it looks like one or two of them has bled to death. Just keep on.... keep on... uh.... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.........
zzzzzzz-Uh. Where am I? Oh, yeah, the battle. Jeez, it's still going. Just one marmot left, Marmot 7. Even with only one left Jreengus is going for a conservative strategy, defending and slowly wearing the marmot down. I don't know how that marmot still has blood left. Looks like a hit to the paw, it's not even bleeding. Marmot Number 7 literally has no blood left. It's tilting, it's slipping, it's DOWN! Kakarot with the victory, a long, slow, boring battle of attrition with the little kobold with the crazy name victorious! He's covered in dents and bruises, but he took every last one down! A big round of applause for Tambourine.
Come back tomorrow when three gladiators take on the elusive and brutal walrus!
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Topic: [Arena Challenge] Gladiator Arena - Slots Open: None (Read 11387 times)