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Big Cheese's logs, 22nd Obsidian, 5001:
Some of the citizens are complaining about the fact that Smurf, despite being a war hero, was not given a proper burial. I tried explaining them that his body had melted completely and thus could not be recovered, but they would not yield. So now we're building him a small memorial over the magma pipe. I might help making a statue or two to decorate it, but I'm not really in the mood for it. For some reason, not even my favorite foods or admiring our great decorated doors can keep me from being a bit sad. I don't know why. There must be something, something I'm supposed to do, but I simply can't fathom what.
Duh102's happy diary, 23rd Obsidian, 5001:
Boss's looking pretty depressed today... I wonder what could be happening? After all this place is so great! Everyone here is so nice, the food tastes really good and our rooms are very comfortable! Hmm. Maybe I'll go make him some cheese, that oughta cheer him up!
Duh102's hidden evil grimoire, 23rd Obsidian, 5001:
Heh. Cheese is looking real bad. He doesn't even keep a watch over me anymore. Looking at it now, I guess that if he had a small "unfortunate accident", everyone would blame it on him getting melancholic or something like that. This opens quite a range of... possibilities for me. No one would need to know it, right? Yes, no one would need to know it...
Big Cheese's logs, 30th Obsidian, 5001:
New year's eve. Ah yeshhh... A toast! A toast to all of ushhhh... A toashhtss to this... thiss cursed placesh. Eh. Maybeeeh. Maybeeeh I'va drunk a weeeeee lil' bit moar then I shold hafff. Shoulda stopped on the... ssshheecond barrel... Ehhhh... Gonna get some shhleeep now... Now it'shh jushht you and me, Misshhter logbook... You, me, and that floating shoe by the bedssssh... Wait...
FLOATING SHOE BY THE BED?!
The events of 30th Obsidian, 5001:
Big Cheese had just got as sober as it was dwarvenly possible.
He looked at the shoe.
It was floating in the air.
He rubbed his eyes.
It still floated.
"Very well." He said, "This must be some kind of prank, right? Very funny guys, you can stop it now. Just some silk strings tied to the ceiling and..." He waved his hand over the shoe. Nothing.
"Oh. Well. I guess it really is floating, then. Well, hum, so, what do I do?"
He heard a low humming sound coming from the shoe, and motioned closer. The sound became a voice.
"Hello? Is anyone there? Pick up the shoe, would you kindly?"
Big Cheese held the shoe to his ear, and answered, stuttering a bit.
"U-uh, hello?"
"Oh, hi there! I assume you must be Big Cheese, transdimensional traveler?"
"Trans-what?"
"Silly me, I keep forgetting that you mortals aren't used to that kind of thing. It means that you have, erm 'fallen off the edge of the world', is that how you call it?"
"Oh, yeah, I kinda did that once."
"Great, so you're the right guy! Uh, listen, I've been charged with giving you a message from the higher-ups, so if you could-"
"Wait wait wait. Who the elf are you, and how the carp do you know who I am?"
"Aww, you guys are always like that! I don't think I've ever had a conversation that didn't begin with 'who the carp'!"
"Does that stop you from answering my question?"
"Hmm, you've got a point. I'm Kulur Fensastpod, tortoise demon extraordinaire, and I'm here on behalf of this guy called Armok, who wanted to talk to you about-"
"Whoa whoa whoa there. Armok the God of Blood?!"
"Yeah, I believe that's his title. Now, if-"
"Wait, if Armok wanted to talk to Me, why didn't He contact me himself? I mean, since He is a god, I figured-"
"If you would just let me finish! This mr. Blood God is a bit tied up with the local deities, so he asked me to give you a message, since, being a demigodess, I can skip most of the bureaucracy. Now, I would have preferred to go there in person, but I think I did a few wrong turns back in the florests of Gladness a few years ago-"
"Years?"
"4996 years, give or take a few."
"You've spent. 4996 years. Walking through the woods?!"
"I'm a turtle, silly! Oh, I'm through with this. Just press the heel of the shoe, will ya?"
"Press it? You mean like this?"
The heel moved to it's new position with a click. Almost immediately, the shoe jumped off of Big Cheese's hand and started emmiting a blinding light in all directions. When the dwarf looked at it again, the shoe was gone: a ghostly figure had taken it's place. It was humanoid, but there was something definitely outlandish about it. And then it spoke.
"Uh, hey, is this thing on? Oh, it's already recording? Great, thanks. *cough* *cough* Greetings, o brave one whom has traveled beyond the borders of the world. It is I, Armok, who is talking to you. The island where you now are is going through dire times. Foul beasts have escaped from the Underworld and taken over the surface. Civilization has withered, and so have us, gods, here. Even I have little power over this land, despite being who I am. I have a mission for you, dimensional wanderer. You must- Wait! Have they found us? Cursed local deities! Can't they at least treat the *God of Blood* with proper respect?! Uh, listen, I would really like to stay and chat with you a bit more, but I'm in a bit of a fix with the locals, apparently they require all gods to have an officially certified temple or something like that to contact mortals, so if you could do me a favor and build one, I'd be much obliged. I'm gonna send you some kind of 'Artifact', or whatever you call it, to contact you... Oh, curses, they're jamming my signal! And don't forget to- *stactic*"
Big Cheese just stared blankly. The figure was gone. He had been contacted by the Blood God. He knew he had asked for a bit of meaning on his life, but this was WAY too much meaning. Like someone had thrown an elephant/hippo hybrid made of meaningstone on his head. He was overflowing with meaning.
"So, did you like the holo-shoe? I invented it myself!", the shoe spoke again.
Big cheese didn't hear it, nor would he have cared if he had. He had a temple to build.
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Tried to put a bit more of a plot in this post. Did it work?
A year! Frankly, I hadn't expected this fortress to last this long! Oh well, here's the map, so you can all celebrate:
http://mkv25.net/dfma/map-8511-ulolsavot 
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Topic: [Community] The Last Stand. (Read 3586 times)