I'll try to address everyone here, I'm hoping I can wrap this up.
@ Grakelin: I call him King Ratbastard because he is a quite literally soulless man. I have tried to explain this again and again. Also because I don't want to use his real name, so I figured I should use a false name that described him well. I will provide an example because an explanation does not seem to be enough.
My grandfather passed away a few months ago, and in his will he passed his sword on to me. I mentioned this in class, and King Ratbastard's first comment was that I should take up my grandfather's sword and fight crime. And at the end of each fight, raise it up to the sky and shout "Smell ya later, gramps!" That might have been funny if my grandfather had not died the week before.
Then, last Sunday, a call came in that my uncle died. Two family members in such a short timeframe is devastating, and I mentioned it for the class' daily prayers (Christian school, in case anyone has forgotten). The first thing out of Ratbastard's mouth? "Does he have a sword to give you, too? Maybe you can dual-wield their swords!"
This is a short explanation as to why I hate him. He has no respect for the feelings of others, and as I stated before, he has openly declared to my face that his ultimate goal is to make my life worse. Also, as to how this ties in to him fucking up relationships? The person in particular (NOT the one from this thread, someone else entirely) that I was thinking of asking out knew King Ratbastard, and he discovered that I liked her. He promised that the next school day he would tell her and twist me into looking like a dork, so that she'd never speak to me again. I told her over the phone, which was embarrassing enough, but what was worse is that come Monday, he was not aware of what had been said, and tried to tell her. He had no qualms with potentially making me the mockery of the class.
@ Renault: I suspected that might somehow play into this. I only used Ivan because there aren't many rulers with suitable titles for the example I tried to make.
@ Cthulhu: Consider my relationship with King Ratbastard as two dogs, vying for the "alpha" position. Except instead of using intimidation, then going to fighting, we did the reverse. We have fought on a few occasions; the school no longer tolerates that and threatens expulsion if we fight again. Therefore, we have resorted to mental combat. Simply put it is no longer an option.
LUCKILY, the girl who is the subject of this thread hates Ratbastard as much as I do, and at this point nothing he could say would matter in that subject. So I count this as a victory in my never ending battle to destroy the evil forces of the Decepticons my foe's influence within the class.