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[Rainforce]

I had the same problem for 5 years. the first 2 Years were just some random monsters or ANYTHING (most of the time I dont really know, I just know i must run or it will find me) hunting me down, never getting me, just the endless fear to get cought any time. the next 2 years the things started to getting me, killing me in every iteration, in every possible, impossible and most of the time even extremely painful way, without reason. The 5th year took it one step further: random friends and family members trying to kill you or at least hurt you, or just plain ignoring you when you are hurt or dying by an accident. [one time I just was surrounded by copies of myself hunting me down and killing me.] totally realistic. half a year ago it suddenly stopped and droped me right in massive depressions due to how holllow my life and personality felt in general. and I never really talked about it, with 15 years most people simply wouldn't understand you. well, now 20, Im still alive and never killed anybody (like due to fear or insanity).

so my question from my experience:
"are you unsatisfied with the way you are?" [standard question] or is it just because you gave yourself too much into the fear of death?
I think it's a good solution to understand that death can happen to anyone anytime, but we should do our best to stay alive as long as possible and helping others to achieve the same thing.
(even if everything is trying to kill you :p)

[Kebooo]

Well, you could go out happy knowing that you got revenge?

Yes, I wish I had more time, but if we did not have this short of a life then it would be both good and bad, think, you have so much time, like 1000 years, the good is that you can do everything you want, but what happens once you run out of things to do? It's just like going to bed at night, you wish you had more time, but when you run out of things to do, you go to sleep. See what I mean?

Hope I'm not that bad at explaining my point...

I understand, but I don't believe that's an issue.  Something I read ten years ago would be enjoyable for me to read again, because our memories of things fade with time.  What I would like is for people to have a choice.  If you don't want to live, by all means, don't live.  If you want to live a trillion years, then isn't it much better for you to choose when to end it, rather than nature?  Maybe you want to live for 200 years.  Or 100.  Maybe you want to live to 70 but cancer is going to take you at 60.  Natural death is nothing but a horrible thing that we have very little choice in. 

If someone truly accepts the void at 75, then they may as well choose to die at that age, rather than linger on.  Why not just die at 75 before 80?  Why do so many people linger on to the bitter, painful end?  I think the reason is clear, they are not yet ready to die, they look for more time, even in the presence of pain and suffering.  Imagine then that we eliminated the degradation of the body and mind.  Imagine that the world lives in peace and you have many things to do, and you are able to live as long as you want, without the pain of cancer or heart attacks or arthritis.  But the government mandates you die at age 100, whether you want to live longer or not.  Wouldn't you see something wrong in that?  I see nature as inherently wrong, not that it is sentient or capable of maliciousness, just that by its very nature, it wrongs our species daily.  Don't you hope for awful genetic diseases to be gone?  Don't people want cancer to be cured?  Don't people want better skin as they age?  These are all extremely popular positions.  How then is the forced death nature imposes on us any less of something to struggle against?

Revenge isn't something that would make me happy.  It might satiate a burning rage, but certainly never bring me happiness.

[Kebooo]

I had the same problem for 5 years. the first 2 Years were just some random monsters or ANYTHING (most of the time I dont really know, I just know i must run or it will find me) hunting me down, never getting me, just the endless fear to get cought any time. the next 2 years the things started to getting me, killing me in every iteration, in every possible, impossible and most of the time even extremely painful way, without reason. The 5th year took it one step further: random friends and family members trying to kill you or at least hurt you, or just plain ignoring you when you are hurt or dying by an accident. [one time I just was surrounded by copies of myself hunting me down and killing me.] totally realistic. half a year ago it suddenly stopped and droped me right in massive depressions due to how holllow my life and personality felt in general. and I never really talked about it, with 15 years most people simply wouldn't understand you. well, now 20, Im still alive and never killed anybody (like due to fear or insanity).

so my question from my experience:
"are you unsatisfied with the way you are?" [standard question] or is it just because you gave yourself too much into the fear of death?
I think it's a good solution to understand that death can happen to anyone anytime, but we should do our best to stay alive as long as possible and helping others to achieve the same thing.
(even if everything is trying to kill you :p)

I'm very satisfied with who I am and my life.  Almost too satisfied because I feel so desperately that I must never relinquish it.  I think maybe there's a misconception of my post here.  I don't fear the possibility of death.  I fear the inevitability of it.  If it was not inevitable, but still possible, then my fear would be absent.  If I die, I die.  But to know I will die, to know that for certain, at a young age, it just seems morbidly wrong and revolting to my senses.

I never dream about dying.  The problem I have with sleep is simply some nights I'm hyper aware of my body shutting down.  The last few nights I haven't felt it.  It's almost like some random event where my body goes to sleep before my awareness does.  Maybe I've developed a sleep disorder.  But it only ever happened when I paid more attention to my sleep in general.  I never experienced it until the last year.  I don't believe anyone that hasn't experienced that same feeling can truly understand the helplessness and deathly feeling of it.  Maybe real death feels differently, but to my mind, as I lay there, it feels like I'm dying.  And to experience a deathly feel once a week for my entire life is not something I hope to have to deal with.

[Tarran]

Well, the way I see it, is that if there was no danger than how could we enjoy life? Much like a fortress with or without goblins, need for food, need for water, need for sleep, dangerous animals, cave ins, fire, or even magma.

But everyone's opinion is different, and I might be wrong in your case, but to me without a little danger there is no fun, like farming creatures in a game, where they are far too weak to kill you, and far too little to swarm you.

Or, you could ask adrenalin junkies what they do would be like without danger.

[Kebooo]

Well, the way I see it, is that if there was no danger than how could we enjoy life? Much like a fortress with or without goblins, need for food, need for water, need for sleep, dangerous animals, cave ins, fire, or even magma.

But everyone's opinion is different, and I might be wrong in your case, but to me without a little danger there is no fun, like farming creatures in a game, where they are far too weak to kill you, and far too little to swarm you.

Or, you could ask adrenalin junkies what they do would be like without danger.

I've never liked the idea that danger is what grants us enjoyment.  I just enjoyed my dinner in the safety of my home.  I didn't even consider the possibility of death, and it had no bearing on my contentment.  And here's the thing, there will always be danger.  A bullet to my brain will always kill me, or the earth exploding.  All I wish was different was having a choice about being claimed by old age.  I don't need the danger of cancer, heart attacks or strokes to make me enjoy my life. 

I agree with you when it comes to entertainment.  Because drama is interesting.  I go around in games like Grand Theft Auto killing innocent people.  That in no way represents how I want real life to resemble, not even close.  I can't quite explain why humans are so fascinated with violence, drama and destruction, but we just are.  But I want a peaceful, calm life.  I don't want to actually fight goblins.  I don't want to be stabbed in the stomach with an axe, or run through a man with my sword.  I just can't fathom why danger would give my life enjoyment when danger puts us in a heightened state of alertness, fight or flight, adrenaline.  I went off the road in winter before and came awfully close to hitting a telephone poll.  In no way did that add any enjoyment to my life.  And it's always been an unpleasant memory.

[Tarran]

It's because the possibility of death makes it fun, like sky-diving, not actually getting close to death, like losing your main Parachute and pulling the emergency Parachute right before the no-return altitude.

[Kebooo]

It's because the possibility of death makes it fun, like sky-diving, not actually getting close to death, like losing your main Parachute and pulling the emergency Parachute right before the no-return altitude.

So would you find fighting in a war fun?  People only enjoy the possibility of death when they aren't killed from it.  It's just wishful fantasizing.  There will always be avenues for risk taking, and I don't advocate abolishing them.  Would you enjoy your life if every day you had to run across a field with a few mines in it? On any given day you have a 1 in 10,000 chance to hit a mine and die.  Would that be fun?

[Tarran]

You miss understood, fighting in a war is not fun because you are always close to death, just like that mine field, sky diving you don't get close to death, just having the possibility of death.

If you have another explanation for our fun in situations like sky diving, be my guest.

[Kebooo]

You miss understood, fighting in a war is not fun because you are always close to death, just like that mine field, sky diving you don't get close to death, just having the possibility of death.

If you have another explanation for our fun in situations like sky diving, be my guest.

So only when the chance of death is incredibly small is it fun, but the higher it gets, the less fun it is.  Makes sense to me.  I imagine sky diving would be fun even if death was not possible.  How about playing a game?  Are those fun?  There is no chance of death while playing a game.

[Tarran]

There is a chance of your character dieing, and it gets boring when you keep reviving, know what I mean?

In games you know you are safe, but also know that who you play as is not safe.

Like with FPS'es, it's funner when you are fighting with rockets, but not when you revive in the same spot over and over again, so it's dieing in that spot to that one guy once that's fun, not dieing multiple times to the same guy.

[Kebooo]

There is a chance of your character dieing, and it gets boring when you keep reviving, know what I mean?

In games you know you are safe, but also know that who you play as is not safe.

Like with FPS'es, it's funner when you are fighting with rockets, but not when you revive in the same spot over and over again, so it's dieing in that spot to that one guy once that's fun, not dieing multiple times to the same guy.

But many games are fun without danger or representation of death.  Puzzle games like Tetris, for example, sports games, etc.  You also don't die in Mario kart.  Many people find reading enjoyable, including myself, even when it has nothing at all to do with death.  I think this train of thought has been expanded upon far enough, I guess we just see life differently.  I certainly don't intend to base my real life around what's fun in a game.

[Tarran]

...
I certainly don't intend to base my real life around what's fun in a game.

Thank goodness for that.

And the reason Tetris is fun is because of losing, death is, in a way, losing, but except it is like losingX10. But it still is quite distant from losing.

[Karnewarrior]

Think of sleep not as shutting down but as sinking into yourself, like entering a backroom of your mind to file and store all of the information gathered today.

Besides, going to sleep is not what it feels like to die. When you die, It's never due to just age. It's due to a disease or your organs wearing down. Sleep is your brain entering Defrag mode. I would expect death to be much more painful.

[Kebooo]

...
I certainly don't intend to base my real life around what's fun in a game.

Thank goodness for that.

And the reason Tetris is fun is because of losing, death is, in a way, losing, but except it is like losingX10. But it still is quite distant from losing.

Competition, as far as I'm concerned, is very different from dying.  If I go play basketball I don't expect my life to be in jeopardy in any way.  Such a devastating loss as your own life wouldn't seem worth risking simply for entertainment, at least not for me.  It would be terribly selfish especially when considering family and friends.

[Heron TSG]

I intend to live to 300 or die trying. If possible, I'll live longer. Not because I'm afraid of death, but because of the fact that dead people can't have any fun. It's difficult to tell jokes, ride rollercoasters, play games, and learn when you're dead.

Whereas sleep is unconsciousness, death is nothing. There is a yawning (pardon the pun) gap between the two. Dreaming and repairing is infinitely more lively than nothing.