-~^~-
"This had better be important, Windspells. I have a meeting to avoid."
The newly elected mayor, Lokum Mobabbey, appeared to be in a somewhat impatient mood as he observed the tangled heap of flesh that was, supposedly, the dwarf who had summoned him.
"Windspells? Windspells is dead, he died in battle defending our home from the enemy abroad. No, I am El Burro Sombrero; defender of the people, leader of the glorious revolution, devoted to defending against the enemy within!"
Something beamed at Mobabbey. He couldn't be entirely certain that it was the dwarf's
face that was smiling at him, but he didn't particularly want to think about the alternatives. Windsp-
El Burro Sombrero continued:
"I had prepared to make my demands to that old tyrant, Rainbridged! But it appears that you have beaten her down with your righteous strength, and your devotion to the will of the people!"
Mobabbey thought back to the nights spent with his team, sorting through the ballot and filtering out the votes which were disqualified for the obvious reason of having picked the wrong candidate.
El Burro coughed, causing something greenish to ooze out of his... his... his left.
"But you, you are different. I can see it. The revolution is victorious at last! Our blood was not shed in vain! Finally, we are free from tyranny and ready to enter into a new age of freedom and equality! I humbly accept your offer."
Mobabbey broke out of his reminiscing and looked perplexedly at El Burro.
"Offer? What offer? I haven't offered you anything! I haven't even
said anything!"
A limb-shaped object rose out of the mass and patted the air in front of the mayor, telling him that his theatrics were not required.
"You needn't say anything, exalted leader. I understand your need, and I readily heed your call for aid. As my new position of Most Prestigious Captain of the Cavebrands Guard, I shall see to the release of all political prisoners detained by the previous reign."
"Political prisoners? But we don't have any political prisoners. We don't even have a prison! And we barely have any politics, for that matter. And I certainly didn't say anything about the Captain of the Guard! Jordrake has been performing her duties quite well, may she rest in peace. We don't need a replacement."
El Burro Sombrero looked as though he was attempting to tap the side of his nose conspiratorially. Something popped.
"Of course, superior commander, I understand perfectly. No one shall ever know of my involvement in the coming events, I shall be like a ghost in the wind! All your plans shall be carried through with the utmost care and precision, oh fabulous chief!"
Mobabbey closed his eyes and blew a deep breath out through his beard braids. His first day in office, and he's called off to talk to some lunatic.
Just nod your head and smile, he thought to himself.
Agreeing with cripples is always good press._______
-~v~-
Alright, so here's a quick rundown of some of the stuff that's happening.
I've replaced Jordrake's position in government with El Burro Sombrero. I can't really remember why I did this. I guess I'm just trying to edge the coffins out of government... I've also given some random hauler the position of manager, seeing as Iden was too busy engaging in private combat drills to do any managing. This is particularly interesting, since she's not actually listed anywhere in the military screen, and as far as I can tell has absolutely no reason to be practicing her fighting skills.
Now, some of you may wonder what exactly the big deal is of not having a functional manager. After all, can't you just set up the jobs yourself? Well, that brings me to my next point, involving soap.
Apparently, the soaper's workshop is bugged. It doesn't have any available tasks inside it, which means I can't queue up any production requests. However, the "make soap" command
is available in the manager screen. Now I just need to hope that this doofus will get around to doing a better job than her predecessor.
Reg Whipentrances, 'Food', has recently been taken by a strange mood. He's claimed a leatherworker's shop and has so far collected some cow leather, some giant bat leather, oak logs, red beryls, chestnut logs, chrysocollas, tower-cap logs, some marble, and Sodor Usmdasegngun's bones.
Anybody remember Sodor? That's right, he was the giant eyeless starling that attacked our fort way back when. Which means that his bone pile happens to be really freakin' huge.
It's a pity, really... Reg stole that from the craftsdwarf's workshop next door, and that stack would've made for an epic pile of bolts. Let's see if he makes an earring or something.
Beyond that, it's pretty much just the same-old same-old. Cheddarius is loitering around the hospital while pointedly ignoring diagnosis requests, our haulers are busy at work dumping stones into magma, we've got a traffic jam of farm animals, the latest forgotten beast has managed to get himself trapped in a tiny corridor between a couple giant mushrooms, and there's a tile in the hallway that has twelve pages of assorted junk on it, some of it claimed and some of it forbidden. I have absolutely no idea how it managed to get there or why. It's got silk mittens, marble boulders, a bed, mountain goat bones, a silver bin, uncut gems, and a lump of raw adamantine in it, amongst others.
I'm just going to claim the whole lot of it, see what happens. I swear, this place is innately crazy... It's even starting to leak out of the seams.