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[SethCreiyd]

This fort makes me

[LordSlowpoke]

Yup, that's right.  We just got a squad of stealthy bowgoblins who appeared on top of the crossbowgoblins, and who are now filling everyone with more iron.  Also, they're being lead by a macedwarf, which means there's someone up there who can actually hold themselves in a melee fight...  I hope our guys are cut out for this.

Welcome to fucking Cavebrands.

When I finally get there, I'll dismantle your entire entrance. It is made of defensive fail and menaces with spikes of dwarf bone. You know, I wanted to remake the entrance before, but suddenly goblins, draltha, and lack of dwarfpower set in.

[melkorp]

Yeah, I was going to wall up the gaps in the perimeter wall up on the mountain so goblins could never, ever take the high ground and rain arrows down on us...but all I did was trap all the masons on top of the wall, deconstruct what I'd done, and forget about it.  Cavebrands!

[Kagus]

I'd just like to point out with no unneeded outburst that valley herbs are not to be cooked.  They are incredibly rare and difficult to get hold of, and they can be processed at the farmer's workshop to create something called 'Golden Salve', which is in fact worth far more than its weight in gold.

! Sorry!

'salright, turns out we've got around fifty of the things.  I'm guessing someone bought a truckload from the humans or whatnot.


Alrighty then...  We encountered a couple goblin snatchers, and one of them got turned into mincemeat by our squad.  Some real combat experience for them.  I'm proud.

Things aren't going all that well however...  We've got a titanic workload, and everybody's already working their buns off.  Game speed is hovering around 9 FPS.  Most of the civilians wounded in the fighting have been brought in and are being attended to be our severely understaffed nursing department.  Quite a few are still requesting diagnosis, and the chief medical dwarf is doing his best to ignore their feeble cries.  We currently have five infections that we know about, and I'm rush-ordering up some soap production. Hopefully, we'll be able to save them with minimal tissue loss.

El Burro Sombrero is still fading in and out of consciousness, and it turns out that he's still bleeding for some reason.  I think he may have gotten hit with some forgotten beast gas, and that he's suffering from the disease even now.  His bed and the tile beneath it are soaked.  Tough little bugger to just live through it, but I don't know how long he'll last.  I managed to pick the most messed-up dwarf out of this whole dang fort...

The outpost liaison left unhappy, and it took me a moment to figure out why (after all, he was right in the middle of a meeting with our mayor, as proven by the picture I posted).  As it turns out, the new elections were held while our current mayor was meeting with the representative, and she lost the vote.  Some other doofus stepped into office, so the ex-mayor stopped talking to the liaison and immediately went into an individual combat drill right in front of him.  He got pissed and left.

Now we've got a new mayor who wants the old mayor's office (or at least some office), and a manager who is refusing to validate the work order that was set up to fulfill her own mandate.   We still have a couple government positions being held by dead people.  They seem to be doing a fine enough job, so I'll leave them alone for now.

I'm attempting to reposition to the -3 tree farm, so they can start smashing the mountain of stone we've got down there.  I've also decided to expand it a bit, since I thought it was a little small.  Mining operations are proceeding slowly, but with plenty of new stone to get rid of.  I'm also setting up a new jeweler's station to get rid of the rough gems that are piling up, and I've ordered the smelters downstairs to start melting away some of the many tons of silver ore that are clogging the place up.

There's been some progress on setting up the water flow/drain system for the -3 farm, but it's been tricky setting up the levers since DF has decided to make selecting the right object to link up a complete nightmare.  We'll see how it all turns out.

In other news, I've been looking through our list of artifacts...  There's a Draltha tooth figurine in there that immortalizes the stomping of the kobold sneakthief 'Progobambis' by some random dwarf during an event known as 'The Eighth Attempted Theft'.  We've got all this slaughter and mayhem going on, and this doofus decides to make some deceased dog-man into a legend?

Although, considering his chosen medium, it may have been all he had material for.  Oh yeah, and somebody made a masterpiece crown out of cow hooves.  I really don't want to think about that.

This fort makes me

Me too, SethCreiyd, me too...

[Cheddarius]

Most of the civilians free diagnosis experience wounded in the fighting have been brought in and are being attended to be our severely understaffed nursing department.

Fixed that for you.

El Burro Sombrero is still fading in and out of consciousness, and it turns out that he's still bleeding for some reason.  I think he may have gotten hit with some forgotten beast gas, and that he's suffering from the disease even now.

Have you checked his profile and such yet? It could say "Diseased" on his Wounds, or maybe he's been upset by a noxious disease lately.

His bed and the tile beneath it are soaked.

... with what?

I'm attempting to reposition to the -3 tree farm, so they can start smashing the mountain of stone we've got down there.  I've also decided to expand it a bit, since I thought it was a little small.

Reposition what?

There's been some progress on setting up the water flow/drain system for the -3 farm, but it's been tricky setting up the levers since DF has decided to make selecting the right object to link up a complete nightmare.  We'll see how it all turns out.

Yay! How's OPERATION STONECLEAR going, by the way?

[melkorp]

His bed and the tile beneath it are soaked.

... with what?

Uh, I vote for I do not want to know.

[Kagus]

Have you checked his profile and such yet? It could say "Diseased" on his Wounds, or maybe he's been upset by a noxious disease lately.

His wounds list doesn't show anything, because somebody is pointedly ignoring his diagnosis request.  You've been standing near his bed on a number of occasions, just idly staring off into space while he sits there, undiagnosed and...  Well, I'd say miserable, but he's actually pretty chipper.  Don't remember seeing anything about a disease in his profile, but I might just have skimmed past it without noticing.  His earliest memories are of getting rescued and watching his comrades get shredded to bits.  My guess is he's been sitting in that bed for a while.

... with what?

His blood.  What else?

Reposition what?

Ah, sorry, goofed up on the typing.  I'm repositioning the catapults down there.  They should do a decent enough job of clearing up the basic stone, and it'll train siege operators to boot.

How's OPERATION STONECLEAR going, by the way?

We're still swamped with stone, but some of the levels have started clearing up.  The -3 tree farm is an utter mess though, I think I've got about ten tiles of free ground down there.  Everything else has a stone, gem, or lump of ore on it.  The magma forges are also fairly packed, but I could attempt to open up another hole down there so we can dump the nearby stuff into the melt-o-rama.

[Cheddarius]

His blood.  What else?

Uh, yes. That's... that's what I meant. *cough*

His wounds list doesn't show anything, because somebody is pointedly ignoring his diagnosis request.  You've been standing near his bed on a number of occasions, just idly staring off into space while he sits there, undiagnosed and...  Well, I'd say miserable, but he's actually pretty chipper.

Huh. That's weird.

We're still swamped with stone, but some of the levels have started clearing up.  The -3 tree farm is an utter mess though, I think I've got about ten tiles of free ground down there.  Everything else has a stone, gem, or lump of ore on it.  The magma forges are also fairly packed, but I could attempt to open up another hole down there so we can dump the nearby stuff into the melt-o-rama.

Well, at least we're making some progress... the catapults should help a lot, yeah. Though, I guess if you think about it, catapulting is even slower than hauling, since people need to both haul and fire... but it'll provide valuable experience and get the stone into one nice place for later smashing or whatnot.

[Kagus]

Stone fired on the same level is automatically destroyed once it hits the ground.  It only remains intact if it drops one z-level or more (as with other projectiles).  Fire and forget, that's the catapult way.  I've used them for stone removal purposes on a number of occasions (a small number, but still a number).

Now there's something for you...  We should just set up an entryway that is constantly bombarded by catapult fire.  It'll remove excess stone and maybe hit some sneaking individuals if we get lucky.  Not on my turn though, I've got enough to do here as it is...  Maybe Slowpoke, with his grand designs for our front gate, can do something with that.  We'd have to have the catapults and operators on a separate platform though, to keep them safe from enemy troopers.  A modification to this idea could allow for ballistae to take the place of catapults...  Just set up a perimeter of walls with ditches that drop the bolts into underground ammo reserves.

[Argonnek]

Ballistae take up a lot of wood in the form of bolts (1 log=1 bolt), so I'd suggest making a lot after the metal industry takes off, so you can have metal-tipped bolts instead of wasting trees on wooden ballista bolts.

[Cheddarius]

We have enough wood, I think. We had a huge stockpile in the workshop level, if I remember correctly.

We can make a long passageway that the goblins have to go through to get to the entrance, and put a channel at the end, so that we can recycle bolts. We'll block the bolts off with a door or something, though, and only let them be retrieved after the siege is over (we can make enough bolts for 1 siege), so that dwarves don't go long ways to get bolts.

[Kagus]

-~^~-

  "This had better be important, Windspells.  I have a meeting to avoid."

The newly elected mayor, Lokum Mobabbey, appeared to be in a somewhat impatient mood as he observed the tangled heap of flesh that was, supposedly, the dwarf who had summoned him.

  "Windspells?  Windspells is dead, he died in battle defending our home from the enemy abroad.  No, I am El Burro Sombrero; defender of the people, leader of the glorious revolution, devoted to defending against the enemy within!"

Something beamed at Mobabbey.  He couldn't be entirely certain that it was the dwarf's face that was smiling at him, but he didn't particularly want to think about the alternatives.  Windsp- El Burro Sombrero continued:

  "I had prepared to make my demands to that old tyrant, Rainbridged!  But it appears that you have beaten her down with your righteous strength, and your devotion to the will of the people!"

Mobabbey thought back to the nights spent with his team, sorting through the ballot and filtering out the votes which were disqualified for the obvious reason of having picked the wrong candidate. 

El Burro coughed, causing something greenish to ooze out of his...  his...  his left.

  "But you, you are different.  I can see it.  The revolution is victorious at last!  Our blood was not shed in vain!  Finally, we are free from tyranny and ready to enter into a new age of freedom and equality!  I humbly accept your offer."

Mobabbey broke out of his reminiscing and looked perplexedly at El Burro.

  "Offer?  What offer?  I haven't offered you anything!  I haven't even said anything!"

A limb-shaped object rose out of the mass and patted the air in front of the mayor, telling him that his theatrics were not required.

  "You needn't say anything, exalted leader.  I understand your need, and I readily heed your call for aid.  As my new position of Most Prestigious Captain of the Cavebrands Guard, I shall see to the release of all political prisoners detained by the previous reign."

  "Political prisoners?  But we don't have any political prisoners.  We don't even have a prison!  And we barely have any politics, for that matter.  And I certainly didn't say anything about the Captain of the Guard!  Jordrake has been performing her duties quite well, may she rest in peace.  We don't need a replacement."

El Burro Sombrero looked as though he was attempting to tap the side of his nose conspiratorially.  Something popped.

  "Of course, superior commander, I understand perfectly.  No one shall ever know of my involvement in the coming events, I shall be like a ghost in the wind!  All your plans shall be carried through with the utmost care and precision, oh fabulous chief!"

Mobabbey closed his eyes and blew a deep breath out through his beard braids.  His first day in office, and he's called off to talk to some lunatic.  Just nod your head and smile, he thought to himself.  Agreeing with cripples is always good press.

_______
-~v~-

Alright, so here's a quick rundown of some of the stuff that's happening.

I've replaced Jordrake's position in government with El Burro Sombrero.  I can't really remember why I did this.  I guess I'm just trying to edge the coffins out of government...  I've also given some random hauler the position of manager, seeing as Iden was too busy engaging in private combat drills to do any managing.  This is particularly interesting, since she's not actually listed anywhere in the military screen, and as far as I can tell has absolutely no reason to be practicing her fighting skills.

Now, some of you may wonder what exactly the big deal is of not having a functional manager.  After all, can't you just set up the jobs yourself?  Well, that brings me to my next point, involving soap.

Apparently, the soaper's workshop is bugged.  It doesn't have any available tasks inside it, which means I can't queue up any production requests.  However, the "make soap" command is available in the manager screen.  Now I just need to hope that this doofus will get around to doing a better job than her predecessor.

Reg Whipentrances, 'Food', has recently been taken by a strange mood.  He's claimed a leatherworker's shop and has so far collected some cow leather, some giant bat leather, oak logs, red beryls, chestnut logs, chrysocollas, tower-cap logs, some marble, and Sodor Usmdasegngun's bones.

Anybody remember Sodor?  That's right, he was the giant eyeless starling that attacked our fort way back when.  Which means that his bone pile happens to be really freakin' huge.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

It's a pity, really...  Reg stole that from the craftsdwarf's workshop next door, and that stack would've made for an epic pile of bolts.  Let's see if he makes an earring or something.


Beyond that, it's pretty much just the same-old same-old.  Cheddarius is loitering around the hospital while pointedly ignoring diagnosis requests, our haulers are busy at work dumping stones into magma, we've got a traffic jam of farm animals, the latest forgotten beast has managed to get himself trapped in a tiny corridor between a couple giant mushrooms, and there's a tile in the hallway that has twelve pages of assorted junk on it, some of it claimed and some of it forbidden.  I have absolutely no idea how it managed to get there or why.  It's got silk mittens, marble boulders, a bed, mountain goat bones, a silver bin, uncut gems, and a lump of raw adamantine in it, amongst others.

I'm just going to claim the whole lot of it, see what happens.  I swear, this place is innately crazy...  It's even starting to leak out of the seams.

[LordSlowpoke]

That weird stockpile was probably my personal quantum dump. You should also have draltha bones there.

[Kagus]

But how?  There's no space above it to dump things from, and only some of the items are forbidden.  And why would you dump adamantine?  Or gems?  Or mountain goats?

[LordSlowpoke]

Because I just KNEW somebody would notice.

Nah, it was because I dumped everything I wanted to get away from that damn (insert inaccesible place) before (insert doom event involving inaccesible place) happened. Also, random miasma!