Qwertyuiopas: Inspect it to determine how likely it will be to be awesome:
Dragnar: I give up on that project and search the facility for a priest. Or whoever would know the most about the gods.
Frelock: Fix Slick
Typoman: get in contact with the caped man
Tehstefan(GM'd): Talk to someone about Slick.
Inteuniso(GM'd): Tinker with the engineering computer.
Sensei(GM'd): Carry the device back to the Jefferson.
Qwertyuiopas: 2
You inspect the machine, but you have absolutely no clue what it does or how it does. It's probably going to be awesome, whatever it does.
Dragnar: 5
You access a library computer.
The god-AIs are extremely powerful computer systems, given the ability to affect low-level changes on the simulated universe.
They run on seperate computer systems to the simulated universe, connected through the network to the simulation cluster.
Currently, they are being stored on an offline server to protect them from the corruption that is attacking the universe.
It is apparent that the corruption must have some precense in the god-AI's networks. It may even have a hardware component attatched to the network, though it is not known who could have put it there.
Typoman: 5 (Damnit, why did I tell you to do that? I don't have anything for him to say...)
You attempt to reach out with your mind to the caped man. You search, and find a powerful mechanical mind. You don't have time to get any more information from it before you're shut out.
"So, I see you've found a way to call me. There aren't many things you can't do with the amount of power you've got available to you. If you can control it without getting fried in your own lipids that is."
"You probably know that your "gods" are dead, at least functionally. Of course, that leaves you without support. I suggest you make use of your ship's portal device once you're done dealing with..." You feel a moment of hesitation, he's catching himself before saying something he isn't supposed to.
"After you're done dealing with the...
entity that you're headed twoards. You should convince King Harkinan to come with you before you go, he's a good man. I've known him for some time.
"The corrupted entities are a... distraction, if you will. But they're also power sources. You
will have to destroy them to get rid of..." He catches himself again. "Your enemy."
"You're probably going to meet some more powerful memetics soon. I suggest you find a way to toughen yourself. You may find some fellows who can train you in the same places you derive your power... some of the darker sections of your universe."
"Though I'm strongly against their use, I've...
heard that consumption of hallucinogens can have drastic effects on one's memetic output. Sawed the bastard in half and burned his face off and he still didn't die..."
"You might be wondering who I am. I'm... an enemy's enemy. A powerful enemy. Your... Our enemy is equally powerful. I wish you luck."
"By the way, you'll probably need a... "Plot Coupon" to progress. I'll leave it up to you to find it."
The mechanical mind forces you out, straining slightly.
Your Squirtle fades into nothingness because you aren't supplying it energy.
Inteuniso: 1
You tinker some more, and manage to further corrupt Slick's program data. Oops.
Tehstefan: 6
Seeing the mess Inteuniso has made of the ship's computer, you decide to follow the on-screen instructions and tell someone at TOAST Industries (at least, you think that's what they're trying to say).
Command: "Searching database for "Duality"."
Command: "System shutting down. Restart completed."
Huh.
Sensei: 5
You manage to get the device in the air and fly it back to the Jefferson. You load it into one of the QSDs.
Frelock: 2
Umm... reboot?
"systemerror1 limiter offline"
"USECTERM startup failed. Core libraries missing or corrupted."
"limiter failure"
"system locked, cannot perform operations without stabilization, limitation"
Statuses:
Frelock: Wristwatch, computer terminal, glasses, civilian clothes, pamphlet, a jewel-encrusted egg, a bag which contains a lunch and a clove of garlic, and a bottle of water. On the ship.
Proficient in modifying, and synthesizing with hacking tools. (+2 to modification and +1 to synthesis at short range)
Advanced in healing (+2, can use on two targets in one turn)
Implants:
REMOTE VIEWING 3
SENSOR 3
HIDDEN ENTITY DETECTOR 2
TACTICAL SCANNER 2
ADV. DATA INT. 2
Inteuniso: Tau armor, elfin sword, quantum storage full of scrap, engineering computer (will give bonus to engineering tasks once you work with it a little bit), Lance, carrots and apples, longsword. On the ship.
Dabbling swordsmanship.
Dabbling dancing.
Dabbling horsemanship.
Novice Hauler (+1 to carrying stuff around)
Novice Mechanic (+2 to working with vehicles)
Cheif Engineer of the Starship Jefferson (+1 to working with the Ultravan)
+1 to using engineering computer.
Implants:
AIM 5
REMOTE VIEWING 3
TI STD MIL. IMPLANT 5
TI TACTICAL+ 5
Pet horse (currently mounted)
Tehstefan: .44 Magnum, Fedora, bullwhip, touchstone, tinning kit, Amulet of Yendor. Location: On the ship.
Agile (+1 to running and jumping).
Novice driver(+1 to operating vehicles)
Novice telekeinesis-user (+2 to using telekinesis implant)
Novice Mechanic (+1 to working with vehicles)
Captain of the Starship Jefferson (+1 to doing anything with the Jefferson, additional +1 to navigating in particular)
Implants:
TI AIM 5
TI TACTICAL+ 5
TI SENSOR 3
TI FLIGHT 4
TI TELEKINESIS 5
TI REFLEX 3
Intrinsics:
Warning
ExKirby: Red Helmet, Red Army Gear, Combat Knife, .9mm Pistol, StA52 Assault Rifle, Forcer Grapple, beam sword, Meaningless Commander's Badge, two-handed broadsword, oil lamp, Micro-EAGLE. Location: Ship.
Enhanced enhanced bone structure (+3 to blunt and crushing damage avoid) Hardened flesh (+2 to burning and projectile damage avoid)
Turret Control (+1 to manually controlling ship-mounted weaponry)
AUTOMEDICAL 2
AIM 5
FLIGHT 4
REFLEX 3
INTANGIBILITY 5
CLOAK 4
Blessing of Ordo (Relaxed laws of physics, +1 to attacking chaotic beings)
In command of 5 little robot minions:
Sawbuck: A flying robot, with a multitude of extremely sharp blades. It deals heavy slashing damage. However, it is unstable and a decent impact will send it far away.
Clanger: A small, heavy, tank-like robot, with a pair of heavy duty hydraulic pincers on its front. It deals heavy crushing damage(+1). It is highly resistant to damage, but very slow.
Zip: A small, extremely fast wheeled robot. It attacks by discharging electrical energy into its target, dealing light burn damage. It can move at extreme speed, and carry light cargo.
Bash: A mid-size, doglike robot with extremely powerful back legs. It can fling itself long distances with them. It jumps on enemies, knocking them down and dealing moderate blunt impact damage.
Sensei: Knife, suitcase O' spectacles, electric brass lantern, two lengths of rope, uranium battleaxe (+1 enemy dodge, +1 damage), basic construction equipment, Nano-EAGLE, big missile launcher, 1000 gold pieces, a tin operner, a credit card, an expensive camera, hawaiian shirt. On ship.
Implants:
SENSOR 3
FLIGHT 4
HIDDEN ENTITY DETECTOR 2
REMOTE VIEWING 3
AIM 3
REFLEX 3
Novice builder: +1 to building stuff
Practiced aim(+1 to aiming)
Glowing(-1 to being sneaky while on).
Qwertyuiopas: Computer-goggles, scriptgun(loaded with gravity modifier), gloves, 6 fortune cookies. On ship.
Implants:
REMOTE VIEWING 3
HIDDEN ENTITY DETECTOR 2
Chief Science Officer (+2 to using the Ultravan's sensors and computer systems, as well as generally scienceing)
Understanding(
?)
Available Scripts:
Colorer
Gravity Modifier
Computer Stopper
Projectile Shield
Macguffin Detector
Status Monitor
Dragnar: Built-in laser pistol, mining tools(+1 enhancement for mining, negates 1 armor when used as weapon), quantum storage full of scrap, portable bunker(hold it for a +2 to avoid damage, or plant it in the ground and create an impenetrable barrier to all projectiles coming from that direction.), coasters, cattle prod, unidentified floppies. Location: On ship.
Implants:
TI FLIGHT 4
TI HIDDEN ENTITY DETECTOR 2
TI CLOAK 4
TI ADV. DATA INT. 2
TI ITEM MAGNET 3
TI STASIS 3
Novice flier: +1 to flight with flight implant
Enhanced Speed (+1 to reflexes and high-speed actions)
Encumbering Repair Devices (Heals 50% of incurred damage every turn, -1 to dexterous actions)
Can Fly, rockets in feet.
Pylon-link (+1 to item magnet usage when in range of pylon)
Typoman: hammer pants and polo, with a funky pen in the breast pocket. a shield made of pure, solid rage, a robe, an small shield, a mace, and a clove of garlic, and an SDW-120.
TI FLIGHT 4
TI SENSOR 3
TI AUTOMEDICAL 2
TI TACTICAL SCANNER
TI CLOAK 4
TI REMOTE VIEWING
Involuntarily absorbs organic matter and reprocesses it.
Abilities:
Exploding Van:
?
Kill It With Fire: Expel flames from the mouth.
Stains Stare: Dispel all thoughts from the target, replacing them with an intense desire for cupcakes. Effectively paralyzes the target.
Lv. 1 Summon Memetic: Call one low-level memetic being to your aid.
Permanent energy conduit leading out right hand.
Summoned entities:
None.
Starship Jefferson:
A TOAST Industries Ultravan with:
Flight package (+VTOL enhancement),4 "KICKASS" kinetic weapons, 2 "nano-EAGLEs" on turrets, one pulse rifle on a turret, two "Phasers", two "laser machine guns", one tractor beam, two "Ageis V3s", an "energy deflector shield", three VSP-grade hyperdrives (only one can function at a time), a "TI Standard Rangercam+scanner" with a "VSP Rangercam Upgrade", a "TI Advanced Navigation/targeting system", an inertial compensator, an "all in one life-support system", a "super communicator module", a remote environmental probe (with two nano-EAGLE turrets), a void entry device, an implant installation upgrade, a TOAST construction computer, a healing turret, a TOAST weapons dispenser, a transporter, an Advanced Auto-Repair Unit, 2 Large Wall-Mount Quantum Storage Devices, a special 360 degree super-voidscanner designed by Qwertyuiopas, more comfortable seats, advanced robotic storage system, drone controller, standard automatic turret controler, fire supression system, EVA pod, advanced manuvering system.
Transforming mecha fighter attached to bottom of ship. Can now detach in the void, but has no voidscanner.
Contains:
12 Portable Temporary Auto-Repair Devices
AI called Slick. Glitching up.
Maintainance+Medical droid. Acting confused.
NUKM drone. Waiting.
Much miscellaneous scrap.
Heavily modified "NDY Machine". Function unknown.