ExKirby: Forget the stairs: use my new WEAPONS to drill a hole for the Jefferson!
Dragnar: I stop calculating PI and try a different disk.
Frelock: Help ExKirby, and make sure he doesn't steer into the jackal room.
Typoman: Practice flying by hovering in the middle of the cabin
Qwerty: Create Macguffin Locator
Inteuniso: Mix a Quad Damage.
Sensei: Put somehting where the Jackals are appearing.
Tehstefan(GM'd): Pilot the ship downward.
Knight85(Suicide GM'd): Tie hands behind back and fight off Jackals with feet.
ExKirby: 6
You turn all of the switches on the weapons panel to on. Slick begins yelling at you, but you ignore him and fire at the floor below the ship.
Slick switches the shields on just in time.
Every floor of the dungeon is destroyed by the laser nuke. Tehstefan flies the ship down to the bottom floor.
Dragnar: 4-2=2
433057270365759591953092186117381932mu6117931051185480744st623799627495673518857527248912279381830119e49129n8336733624406566430860d21394946395224737190702179860943702770539p2171762931r7675238467481846766940513o2000568127145263560827785771342757789609g1736371787214684409012249534301465r49585371050792279689258923542019956112129021a9608640344181598136297747713099605187072113m499999983729780499510597317328160963185.9502445945534690830264252230825334.4685035261931188171010003137838752.886587533208381420617177669147303598253490428755468
Frelock: 1
You help ExKirby, and attempt to inform him that he's about to kill everyone. He backhands you, and you fall Unconcious.
Typoman: 6
You push your flight implant to the limit and smack into the ceiling of the Jefferson, snapping your neck.
You gain +1 to using flight implant.
Qwertyuiopas: 5
You code up a script that compares material types, physio-legal distortions, and TvTropes entries to locate any object of extraordinary power or value.
It detects the Amulet of Yendor on the dead body of the Wizard of Yendor.
Inteuniso: 2
You attempt to mix a beverage, but you fail due to the lack of beverage ingredients aboard the ship.
Sensei: 2
You ask Frelock to conjure up some sort of thingy where the Jackals appear to be appearing from. He looks a little out of it.
Anyway, nuking the place seems to have stopped their inflow.
Tehstfan: 6
You use the VTOL enhancement to land the ship in the most destructive manner possible. Not that there's anything left to destroy.
You crush some Plastic Imitations of the Amulet Of Yendor.
Knight85: 3
You begin to kill jackals with your feet.
You get nuked.
*You have died*
Would you like to RESTART, RESTORE a saved game, or read some AMUSING things to try in the game?
Frelock: Wristwatch, computer terminal, glasses, civilian clothes, pamphlet, a jewel-encrusted egg, a bag which contains a lunch and a clove of garlic, and a bottle of water. In the storeroom.
Unconscious.
Proficient in modifying, and synthesizing with hacking tools. (+2 to modification and +1 to synthesis at short range)
Advanced in healing (+2, can use on two targets in one turn)
Implants:
REMOTE VIEWING 3
SENSOR 3
HIDDEN ENTITY DETECTOR 2
TACTICAL SCANNER 2
ADV. DATA INT. 2
Inteuniso: Tau armor, elfin sword, quantum storage full of scrap, engineering computer (will give bonus to engineering tasks once you work with it a little bit), Lance, carrots and apples, longsword. In the storeroom.
Dabbling swordsmanship.
Dabbling dancing.
Dabbling horsemanship.
Novice Hauler (+1 to carrying stuff around)
Novice Mechanic (+1 to working with vehicles)
Cheif Engineer of the Starship Jefferson (+1 to working with the Ultravan)
Implants:
AIM 5
REMOTE VIEWING 3
TI STD MIL. IMPLANT 5
TI TACTICAL+ 5
Pet horse (currently mounted)
Tehstefan: .44 Magnum, Fedora, bullwhip, touchstone, tinning kit, Amulet of Yendor. Location: In storeroom.
Agile (+1 to running and jumping).
Novice driver(+1 to operating vehicles)
Novice telekeinesis-user (+2 to using telekinesis implant)
Novice Mechanic (+1 to working with vehicles)
Captain of the Starship Jefferson (+1 to doing anything with the Jefferson, additional +1 to navigating in particular)
Implants:
TI AIM 5
TI TACTICAL+ 5
TI SENSOR 3
TI FLIGHT 4
TI TELEKINESIS 5
TI REFLEX 3
Intrinsics:
Warning
ExKirby: Red Helmet, Red Army Gear, Combat Knife, .9mm Pistol, StA52 Assault Rifle, Forcer Grapple, beam sword, Meaningless Commander's Badge, two-handed broadsword, oil lamp. Location: Storeroom.
Enhanced enhanced bone structure (+3 to blunt and crushing damage avoid) Hardened flesh (+2 to burning and projectile damage avoid)
Turret Control (+1 to manually controlling ship-mounted weaponry)
AUTOMEDICAL 2
AIM 5
FLIGHT 4
REFLEX 3
INTANGIBILITY 5
CLOAK 4
Blessing of Ordo (Relaxed laws of physics, +1 to attacking chaotic beings)
In command of 5 little robot minions:
Sawbuck: A flying robot, with a multitude of extremely sharp blades. It deals heavy slashing damage. However, it is unstable and a decent impact will send it far away.
Clanger: A small, heavy, tank-like robot, with a pair of heavy duty hydraulic pincers on its front. It deals heavy crushing damage(+1). It is highly resistant to damage, but very slow.
Zip: A small, extremely fast wheeled robot. It attacks by discharging electrical energy into its target, dealing light burn damage. It can move at extreme speed, and carry light cargo.
Bash: A mid-size, doglike robot with extremely powerful back legs. It can fling itself long distances with them. It jumps on enemies, knocking them down and dealing moderate blunt impact damage.
Sensei: Knife, suitcase O' spectacles, electric brass lantern, two lengths of rope, uranium battleaxe (+1 enemy dodge, +1 damage), basic construction equipment, Nano-EAGLE, big missile launcher, 1000 gold pieces, a tin operner, a credit card, an expensive camera, hawaiian shirt. In storeroom.
Implants:
SENSOR 3
FLIGHT 4
HIDDEN ENTITY DETECTOR 2
REMOTE VIEWING 3
AIM 3
REFLEX 3
Novice builder: +1 to building stuff
Practiced aim(+1 to aiming)
Glowing(-1 to being sneaky while on).
Qwertyuiopas: Computer-goggles, scriptgun(loaded with gravity modifier), gloves, 6 fortune cookies. In storeroom.
Implants:
REMOTE VIEWING 3
HIDDEN ENTITY DETECTOR 2
Chief Science Officer (+2 to using the Ultravan's sensors and computer systems, as well as generally scienceing)
Available Scripts:
Colorer
Gravity Modifier
Computer Stopper
Projectile Shield
Macguffin Detector
Dragnar: Built-in laser pistol, mining tools(+1 enhancement for mining, negates 1 armor when used as weapon), quantum storage full of scrap, portable bunker(hold it for a +2 to avoid damage, or plant it in the ground and create an impenetrable barrier to all projectiles coming from that direction.), coasters, cattle prod, unidentified floppies. Location: In Storeroom.
Calculating Pi (-2 to all actions)
Implants:
TI FLIGHT 4
TI HIDDEN ENTITY DETECTOR 2
TI CLOAK 4
TI ADV. DATA INT. 2
TI ITEM MAGNET 3
TI STASIS 3
Novice flier: +1 to flight with flight implant
Enhanced Speed (+1 to reflexes and high-speed actions)
Encumbering Repair Devices (Heals 50% of incurred damage every turn, -1 to dexterous actions)
Can Fly, rockets in feet.
Typoman: hammer pants and polo, with a funky pen in the breast pocket. a shield made of pure, solid rage, a robe, an small shield, a mace, and a clove of garlic, and an SDW-120.
Broken neck, unconscious.
TI FLIGHT 4
TI SENSOR 3
TI AUTOMEDICAL 2
TI TACTICAL SCANNER
TI CLOAK 4
TI REMOTE VIEWING
Involuntarily absorbs organic matter and reprocesses it.
Starship Jefferson:
A TOAST Industries Ultravan with:
Flight package (+VTOL enhancement),4 "KICKASS" kinetic weapons, 2 "nano-EAGLEs" on turrets, one pulse rifle on a turret, two "Phasers", two "laser machine guns", one tractor beam, two "Ageis V3s", an "energy deflector shield", three VSP-grade hyperdrives (only one can function at a time), a "TI Standard Rangercam+scanner" with a "VSP Rangercam Upgrade", a "TI Advanced Navigation/targeting system", an inertial compensator, an "all in one life-support system", a "super communicator module", a remote environmental probe (with two nano-EAGLE turrets), a void entry device, an implant installation upgrade, a TOAST construction computer, a healing turret, a TOAST weapons dispenser, a transporter, an Advanced Auto-Repair Unit, 2 Large Wall-Mount Quantum Storage Devices, a special 360 degree super-voidscanner designed by Qwertyuiopas.
Transforming mecha fighter attached to bottom of ship. Can now detach in the void, but has no voidscanner.
Contains:
12 Portable Temporary Auto-Repair Devices
AI called Slick. Cursing ExKirby over his breath.
Maintainance+Medical droid. Attempting to stabilize Typoman.
NUKM drone. Appreciating the spectacle of destruction before him.
Much miscellaneous scrap.
Text:
Tehstefan lands the ship beside the dead body of the Wizard of Yendor, a humanoid figure with two long tentacles on its back with poison stingers.
He takes the Amulet out of the wizard's pocket.
Sermo's voice is heard. Static is represented by #.
"W####### vhing t##### trou### co###uni###ting, sy## syst###ms failing ####are crash###"
"Co##ru#### a#l## a##i# a###en ##gn ##########"
"W## a## dy## dy## ##ying"
You find yourselves and the Jefferson in an extremely elegant room, looking like a room of a castle. It appears to be a storeroom. Massive shelves are stocked with food, two entire walls dedicated to "Munf Munf" brand breakfast cereal.
You hear voices on the other side of the door.
"Zelda, where's my dinner?"
"What?"
"Don't talk ship, where's mah dinner?"
"Your majesty."
"What, Gwonam?"
"Impa ate the dinner."
"Hmm... Munf Munf for dinnOAH"
The door opens, and a tall, bearded, regal looking figure in orange robes and a headband notices you. He looks quite startled.
"Who the hell are you?", the figure asks.