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[Schilcote]

Why not play Intergalatic Hyperthermonuclear Endless War, with an alternate dimension as the playing field?

Because then a supercomputer named after a hamburger would decide to take your game and tell the military it's real.

[qwertyuiopas]

Well, duh, obviously it *is* real, but shifted a paralell dimension or two over and only interacted with from out own. You don't think they play it in a merely simulated universe, do you? Nobody has figured out how to simulate those pesky sub-sub-subatomic particles properly yet, and travel in the time dimension just hasn't been accurately simulatable yet in any realistic way.

Yes, I have heard of the pitiful "galaxy" version without time-weapons or full physics that is often played by commoners, and those waiting for a player to finish their turn in some of the more advanced versions of tacticus, but technically, they are only playing "Simulated Intragalatic Sub-Hyperthermonuclear Near-Endless War".

[Schilcote]

Actions. Now.

NAUGHW

EDIT:

Hey guys, I'm really, really sick. Think malaria. I might not be able to write turns quite as often. It affects ones ability to think...

EDIT:

Turns out it was stomach acid eating my throat, causing enough irritation to swell up the tissue surrounding the jugular area, choking off the blood supply to the brain.

[Typoman]

that's gotta suck... get better soon man!

[inteuniso]

Add moar engines to the jefferson.

[Schilcote]

I AM NOTICING THAT THIS THREAD IS NO LONGER ON THE FIRST PAGE.

THIS IS UNALLOWABLE.

UN
ALL
OW
A
BLE.

Ironically, Firefox spellcheck recognizes all the syllables of unallowable besides BLE, but not the word itself.

[qwertyuiopas]

I faintly suspect that "ble" is wheat or something in French. See if changing the language will repair the spellcheck for that syllable.

Alternatively, solve this problem once and for all, by adding "ble" and "unallowable" to it's dictionary.

[tehstefan]

Sooo, does that mean we can look forward toa  turn soon? and that your stomach acid didn't eat your brain or something like that?

[ExKirby]

I feel proud. Partially because I have my army and I can't capture TOAST from here.

[Schilcote]

Sooo, does that mean we can look forward toa  turn soon? and that your stomach acid didn't eat your brain or something like that?

Post a damn action.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Dragnar: I build myself something approximating a riot shield, allowing me to fire from cover.
Frelock: Talk to SLICK, and impress upon it the need to constantly improve itself to better serve us.
Qwertyuiopas: Create safeguards within the computer systems that will disable or terminate the AI if it goes rogue, and improve the AI itself, although insist that it considers carefully before taking action against any of us without permission from one of us. And that "us" refers only to the current players and can not be modified except by us. And that I may not be removed from the us-group at all. Ever.
Inteuniso: Add moar engines to the jefferson.
ExKirby: I feel proud. Partially because I have my army and I can't capture TOAST from here.
Sensei(GM'd): Help Inteuniso
Tehstefan(GM'd): Fly the ship. Look out for big scary monsters.

Dragnar: 3

Using some of the scrap from your portable stockpile, you construct a small handheld portable bunker. You can hold it for a +2 to avoid damage, or plant it in the ground and create an impenetrable barrier to all projectiles coming from that direction.

Frelock: 5

You have a chat with your AI buddy Slick. He's cheerful and cooperative, and says he'll continue to improve his AI.

Qwertyuiopas: 4+1

You implement some safety measures in the AI systems. Slick does not seem to mind.

ExKirby: 1

Pride comes before a fall, and you fall onto Sensei.

Inteuniso: 6

MOOOOARRRRR

You add stuff to the ship, namely, everything you scrounged from the derlict. The quantum storage devices bolt onto the side walls, eliminating any possible storage problems ever. You also take the time to route power and data through them, so you can install upgrades to the ship without limits as well. Attatching the 50. cals (they appear to regenerate ammo on their own) and the Auto-Repair unit, you then grab two more hyperdrive modules from the debris floating around everywhere  using the tractor beam. You install them inside the quantum storage devices. You can't run more than one at once, however.
Feeling that this is not enough, you also gather scrap from the debris field and get a slice on your thumb.

Sensei: 2

ExKirby falls on you, and you completely fail to be helpful to anyone.


Statuses:

Frelock: Wristwatch, computer terminal, glasses, civilian clothes, pamphlet, a jewel-encrusted egg, a bag which contains a lunch and a clove of garlic, and a bottle of water. On the Starship Jefferson..

Proficient in modifying, and synthesizing with hacking tools. (+2 to modification and +1 to synthesis at short range)
Advanced in healing (+2, can use on two targets in one turn)
Is going to get a nice hacker cave soon.
Implants:
REMOTE VIEWING 3
SENSOR 3
HIDDEN ENTITY DETECTOR 2
TACTICAL SCANNER 2
ADV. DATA INT. 2


Inteuniso: Tau armor, elfin sword, quantum storage full of scrap, engineering computer (will give bonus to engineering tasks once you work with it a little bit) On the Starship Jefferson.
Dabbling swordsmanship.
Dabbling dancing.
Novice Hauler (+1 to carrying stuff around)
Novice Mechanic (+1 to working with vehicles)
Cheif Engineer of the Starship Jefferson (+1 to working with the Ultravan)
Implants:
AIM 5
REMOTE VIEWING 3
TI STD MIL. IMPLANT 5
TI TACTICAL+ 5

Tehstefan: .44 Magnum, Fedora. Location: On the Starship Jefferson..
Agile (+1 to running and jumping).
Novice driver(+1 to operating vehicles)
Novice telekeinesis-user (+1 to using telekinesis implant)
Novice Mechanic (+1 to working with vehicles)
Captain of the Starship Jefferson (+1 to doing anything with the Jefferson, additional +1 to navigating in particular)
Implants:
TI AIM 5
TI TACTICAL+ 5
TI SENSOR 3
TI FLIGHT 4
TI TELEKINESIS 5
TI REFLEX 3
Injuries: Mildly bruised and scraped.


ExKirby: Red Helmet, Red Army Gear, Combat Knife, .9mm Pistol, StA52 Assault Rifle, Forcer Grapple, beam sword. Meaningless Commander's Badge. On the Starship Jefferson.
Enhanced enhanced bone structure (+3 to damage avoid)
AUTOMEDICAL 2
AIM 5
FLIGHT 4
REFLEX 3
INTANGIBILITY 5
CLOAK 4
Blessing of Ordo (Relaxed laws of physics, +1 to attacking chaotic beings)
In command of 5 little robots.

Sensei: Knife, suitcase O' spectacles, electric brass lantern, two lengths of rope, uranium battleaxe (+1 enemy dodge, +1 damage), basic construction equipment. On the Starship Jefferson..

Implants:
SENSOR 3
FLIGHT 4
HIDDEN ENTITY DETECTOR 2
REMOTE VIEWING 3
AIM 3
Novice builder: +1 to building stuff
Glowing(-1 to being sneaky, provides light. Not controllable... yet).


Qwertyuiopas: Computer-goggles, scriptgun(loaded with gravity modifier). On the Starship Jefferson..

Implants:
REMOTE VIEWING 3
HIDDEN ENTITY DETECTOR 2
Chief Science Officer (+1 to using the Ultravan's sensors and computer systems, as well as generally scienceing)

Dragnar: Built-in laser pistol, mining tools(+1 enhancement), quantum storage full of scrap, portable bunker(hold it for a +2 to avoid damage, or plant it in the ground and create an impenetrable barrier to all projectiles coming from that direction.). Location: On the Starship Jefferson..
Implants:
TI FLIGHT 4
TI HIDDEN ENTITY DETECTOR 2
TI CLOAK 4
TI ADV. DATA INT. 2
TI ITEM MAGNET 3
TI STASIS 3
Novice flier: +1 to flight with flight implant

Starship Jefferson:
A TOAST Industries Ultravan with:
Flight package (+VTOL enhancement),4 "KICKASS" kinetic weapons, 2 "nano-EAGLEs" on turrets, one pulse rifle on a turret, two "Phasers", two "laser machine guns", one tractor beam, two "Ageis V3s", an "enegy deflector shield", three VSP-grade hyperdrives (only one can function at a time), a "TI Standard Rangercam+scanner" with a "VSP Rangercam Upgrade", a "TI Advanced Navigation/targeting system", an inertial compensator, an "all in one life-support system", a "super communicator module", a remote environmental probe (with two nano-EAGLE turrets), a void entry device, an implant installation upgrade, a TOAST construction computer, a healing turret, a TOAST weapons dispenser, a transporter, an Advanced Auto-Repair Unit, 2 Large Wall-Mount Quantum Storage Devices.
Transforming mecha fighter attached to bottom of ship. Can now detach in the void, but has no voidscanner.
Contains:
12 Portable Temporary Auto-Repair Devices
AI called Slick. Performing self-optimization.
Much miscellaneous scrap.

[ExKirby]

I really need to sig my turn.

I wonder what comes after a fall. I hope it's control of TOAST.

[dragnar]

After the fall? After the fall sunglasses-wearing Lincoln roundhouse kicks you in the face for falling on him.

I use some more scrap to try and enhance my speed.

Also, the auto repair devices I attached to myself aren't in my status anywhere.

[Schilcote]

I wonder what comes after a fall. I hope it's control of TOAST.

I hope it's you actually doing something. In the first few turns, you managed to gain two useful, badass skills and blast a troll (and then receive a cracked rib). Slightly after, you rolled a 6 and received a massive combat bonus. Besides that, you did mostly nothing while all the other characters built a starship.

Well, and you listened to a piece of my EPIC PLOT. I guess that was a commendable action.

Speaking of plot, we've really gotten off-topic recently. I'll have to wrap the level boss in some exposition.

Also, the auto repair devices I attached to myself aren't in my status anywhere.

Yeah, I have a hard time remembering to update those. I just copy and paste the status from the old turn and TRY to update it.

[qwertyuiopas]

With everything running well, I'll devote my time to scanning ahead(and behind, and any direction, really) to give early warning on contact with potential issues.

[Schilcote]

With everything running well, I'll devote my time to scanning ahead(and behind, and any direction, really) to give early warning on contact with potential issues.

Wait...

Aww crap. You were supposed to hit the boss that turn.

Ah well. I'll just do it this upcoming turn. I even forgot to roll Tehstefan's GM-controlled action.