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[Vertigon]

No, It's just that they don't care about... anything! For them, their lives revolve around the latest set of clothing, the best way to get into your girlfriend's pants, or how to smuggle alcohol to your parties! They don't care about their futures, or their studies. They live their lives not knowing what's happening in the world, only living in their own little bubble of ignorance. I just wish I wasn't... disliked for not living in such a bubble.

I despise the 'cool' kids at my school, and their little cliques, because I realized they get so high by climbing over and bashing down the other kids. It's a never-ending fight for Alpha Male/Female, and simply because they're so incredibly stupid. Just, plain, moronic. I hate hearing them speak because nothing they ever say is in any way smart. The pants-on-head stupidity just kills me.

EDIT: Your quote and my thought were somehow related, in my head. I don't even know.

[FreakyCheeseMan]

To quote my mom, it's easier to act your way to a new way of thinking than think your way to a new way of acting.

Thinking the right thing or hearing the right bit of advice won't make you not be depressed. Exercise, sunshine, hot sauce... those will. (Seriously, capsaicin releases endorphins, makes you feel happy an in control, plus a whole host of other health benefits.)

I've been depressed a few times before, and no line of thought or conversation has ever made me feel better than running around the block, or getting on a bike and cycling till I feel like I've outrun my problems.

[Grakelin]

To quote my mom

I lol'd.

[Acanthus117]

To quote my mom

I lol'd.

So people can't take knowledge from their parents these days? ZOMG

[Coidzure Dreams]

To quote my mom

I lol'd.

So people can't take knowledge from their parents these days? ZOMG

You have to admit, these days it is pretty rare to get useful advice out of them.  For whatever reason.

[matthiaspaco]

Let me preface this by saying I haven't read anything in the topic besides the OP.

I very strongly resemble what you're going through. My father passed when I was in the 2nd grade. I didn't cry at his funeral either. The following couple of years consisted of terrible fits of crying and visits to the school counselor (and even being pulled out of class in the 4th grade for a few weeks to go to a special class run by the counselor for emotionally troubled kids) shutting out friends and physical activity and steady weight gain. I never was burdened with the problem of facing mortality and the afterlife, because of my strong religious convictions which I am now very strongly divorced from. I did have the fortune to face these thoughts as an older slightly more mature adolescent from about 17 onwards. However, stress and facing reality brought me to my knees as an adult and I had a similar breakdown. I started having panic attacks. My mother had these after the rollercoaster of a marriage to my first step dad and I never understood them and thought of them as a sign of mental weakness and just being an overly emotional woman. Turns out they are very real and a symptom of unresolved feelings and general anxiety and uncertainty in life. It sounds like you might be suffering from those anxieties and having panic attacks. If you are having intolerable sinking feelings in your guts and racing thoughts of your mortality and unrelenting fear, that's probably what's happening to you. The only advice I can really give is to just deal. Maybe seek therapy, I've heard it helps a lot just to spill your guts.

[Grakelin]

I despise the 'cool' kids at my school, and their little cliques, because I realized they get so high by climbing over and bashing down the other kids. It's a never-ending fight for Alpha Male/Female, and simply because they're so incredibly stupid. Just, plain, moronic. I hate hearing them speak because nothing they ever say is in any way smart. The pants-on-head stupidity just kills me.

EDIT: Your quote and my thought were somehow related, in my head. I don't even know.

I probably have no sympathy for complaints like these because I was popular and powerful in high school, and I got that way through charisma and not through sucking up or being stupid.

You just gotta know how to play the game. The first step is not to think that the people around you are inferior to you.

[Canalan]

So far we seem to have stayed far, far away from the topic of religion. I don't want to get into an argument over it, so if you are offended by religion, get over it. I lost quite a few loved ones over the course of 2009 to various causes. This thread isn't about me, so I will not go into detail. I was sad, and I cried during the funerals, but I was also happy for I knew that they were in a "better place". It sounds trite, but it is true. I encourage you to search for a church that speaks to you. It will help you understand that you are indeed loved by Christ and your Father in Heaven. And your mother and father.
And if all else fails, always look on the bright side of life!

[Grakelin]

You can also find solace in any number of religions, so it's best to do your research before choosing thing most obvious one.

[Huesoo]

You can also find solace in any number of religions, so it's best to do your research before choosing thing most obvious one.

Casual. Take it like a man, or find solace in a woman.

[Spiral42]

You can also find solace in any number of religions, so it's best to do your research before choosing thing most obvious one.

Agreed. As a philosophy and religious studies major, I'd like to apply what I'm learning to your circumstance. If there is such a course still extant when you graduate (mine's been axed), I'd suggest you take it. Like Canalan, I don't want to turn this into a religious debate; the reason I've steered clear of the religion/atheism threads on Bay12 is because I like this forum and don't want it to make me rage...

The crisis you are going through is one of the symptoms of modern society, which - mistakenly believing that religion and philosophy were primitive attempts at science - has attempted to replace traditional world-views with modern ones, rather than allowing the two to exist in harmony (to be fair the increase in religious literalism has really helped this along; the majority of people don't understand how to think symbolically anymore). The purpose of religion is to offer us a way of being in the world. Institutions, morality, dogma, that all comes to it later. Foremost, religion exists to give us the very purpose - not a goal, but a sense of worth - that you seem to be seeking. When I say "religion", most people will read "Christianity", and this can cause a significant cringe factor in modern society; that's not my intent. I'm not a Christian, though I respect the core of their belief. To put my cards on the table, I'm a Traditionalist - put simply, I believe that all religions share a common value; they are "different paths up the same mountain".

You seem to have the cultivated, questioning mind that lends itself well to religion and philosophy. So when I say that you should start thinking in a traditional perspective, I don't mean you should smash your iPhone and head down to the nearest temple, be it revivalist church, synagogue, mosque, gompa, joss house, or stone circle, and sign up; I'm saying you should visit them all. Stand in their sacred places and get a feel for what makes them special, why people want to be a part of such things. Don't let any one (including Richard Dawkins) convince you the rest are wrong - this is untraditional thinking. Read about the different faiths and find out not what they do every weekend but how they perceive the world, what they think about life, death, everything you find yourself thinking about. From there, move on to philosophy. I'm not talking Kant and Marx; modern stuff is pretty bleak. Read Plato's Timaeus, and when he writes about humans seeing by shooting fire from their eyes, think not about how he's gotten it backwards but what it might really mean. Read the Odyssey as a spiritual quest for immortality. Look for symbols.

Above all, for Armok's sake, never be afraid to think about things. Except ducks. Thinking about ducks is anathema.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I told you not to think about ducks. You've gone and done it now...

tl;dr: There are only right answers; sometimes the questions are the wrong ones.

[Grakelin]

They axed your religious studies department? What university are you going to? It was probably because of funding cuts, right?

If you're still interested in that field, there are a variety of options available to you. My mother is actually doing her Ph. D in Sociology of Religion right now, and we both go to the same university, where there is a large department dedicated to Theology off to the side.

[Spiral42]

They axed your religious studies department? What university are you going to? It was probably because of funding cuts, right?

La Trobe Bendigo, Australia.
Well, funding's what they claim. Yet at the same time, they import stupidly expensive carpet from the other side of the world for one of their lecture theatres. It's more a case of "streamlining" - they're trying to make the uni into a trade college, pumping out nurses and teachers. As far as they're concerned, the only thing a Batchelor of Arts is good for is a diploma of education. They're also cutting back on lecturers and leaving us with faulty video-link and online subjects...

[Thedorfwhostoleyourcoffee]

When I was a very little girl (5 or so) I had recurrent thoughts about killing people.  Constantly.  Every few minutes I'd think up a new way to destroy the people around me, and how nice it would be, and how I could spend the rest of my life wading through blood. 

That's not normal? Oh shit...

[Vulkan]

Embrace the Darkness, accept it into yourself. It is as much a part of you as your own hands. Use it, gain strength from it, power beyond imagining! Revel in this Mortal Coil, and be empowered by it. Do not let it sadden you, or weaken you, for you can turn such feelings into something useful. Anger, rage, hatred.

Go forth, my child, and conquer.