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Author Topic: America Prevails  (Read 25761 times)

Jackrabbit

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #285 on: June 06, 2010, 04:39:04 am »

So, we are a mostly innocent 19 year old who's town suddenly gets ripped apart by hellspawn. What's our first method of action? Take a bunch of tranquilizer/psychadelics and eat forest mushrooms!

You were mostly innocent about four hours ago. I don't know what you are now, but you'd scare the shit out of a psychiatrist, I know that.

Also thank you.
« Last Edit: June 06, 2010, 04:42:06 am by Jackrabbit »
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smigenboger

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #286 on: June 06, 2010, 05:35:30 am »

That, and as of 8:30 his time, we suddenly had a bad case of conflicting personalities governing his mental constructs. With both this, and Temporal Anomaly, if it ever picks back up, I wonder what the character would have done cannon.
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IronyOwl

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #287 on: June 06, 2010, 05:56:14 am »

I really wanna say we awakened from dying or nearly dying or something, but I'm really, really not sure that's true.

All hail the Pants of Ascendance.


Also, apply kevlar (assuming our torso isn't a rippling mass of nightmarish scales) and inspect fallen enemies. In the event that any are still alive, DO NOT BABE RUTHLESS THEM YET. WE'LL DO IT LATER I PROMISE. RIGHT NOW LET'S JUST TALK.

Also nibble on flesh of the fallen. It might taste like victory. Or flesh. Delicious, delicious flesh.
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A hand, a hand, my kingdom for a hot hand!
The kitchenette mold free, you move on to the pantry. it's nasty in there. The bacon is grazing on the lettuce. The ham is having an illicit affair with the prime rib, The potatoes see all, know all. A rat in boxer shorts smoking a foul smelling cigar is banging on a cabinet shouting about rent money.

Jackrabbit

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #288 on: June 06, 2010, 06:05:03 am »

That, and as of 8:30 his time, we suddenly had a bad case of conflicting personalities governing his mental constructs. With both this, and Temporal Anomaly, if it ever picks back up, I wonder what the character would have done cannon.

Everything is canon unless it's not.

But even then it still is.
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The Architect

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #289 on: June 06, 2010, 09:46:40 pm »

That, and as of 8:30 his time, we suddenly had a bad case of conflicting personalities governing his mental constructs. With both this, and Temporal Anomaly, if it ever picks back up, I wonder what the character would have done cannon.

Everything is canon unless it's not.

But even then it still is.

+1
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Dwarf Fortress: where blunders never cease.
The sigs topic:
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Oh man. This is truly sig-worthy.

Sarvesh Mossbeard

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #290 on: June 06, 2010, 10:13:49 pm »

Unleash your inner canadian
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mainiac

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #291 on: June 06, 2010, 10:16:24 pm »

Did we become Jesus in purgatory during that last post?
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« Last Edit: February 10, 1988, 03:27:23 pm by UR MOM »
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Phantom

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #292 on: June 06, 2010, 10:18:46 pm »

Coming in for last second action.  Remember your secondary foes, the NAZIS.
Seriously, K98? NAZI WEAPON.
AKs and shit are commie weapons.
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Jackrabbit

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #293 on: June 06, 2010, 10:24:05 pm »

Did we become Jesus in purgatory during that last post?

Quite frankly, any deeper meaning you find in my writing will be no less silly than what I had in mind in the first place.
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Enzo

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #294 on: June 06, 2010, 11:25:57 pm »

Don kevlar vest. Inspect new fashionable trousers. Maintain sobriety in case of (inevitable) crisis.

So glad you revived this Jack, it kicks ass.

Unleash your inner canadian

WHAT? That's madness! Everyone knows Canadians hate Freedom!
« Last Edit: June 06, 2010, 11:27:48 pm by kinseti »
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xtank5

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #295 on: June 06, 2010, 11:27:34 pm »

LIES!

Also don the vest.
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IT'S ALWAYS BEEN WANKERSHIM
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Jackrabbit

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #296 on: June 06, 2010, 11:58:54 pm »

You take one long look at your fallen comrade, who looks slightly less American all of a sudden, and salute him. Rest in peace, my friend. Rest in peace.

You proceed to vigorously strip his corpse, tearing off his kevlar vest and putting it on. Utterly undamaged!

Man, you wonder why this thing doesn't protect the shoulder. It suddenly seems like a serious design flaw to you. You dismiss the thought and check your fallen enemies. The demons are dead hideous and hideously dead, but that doesn't really surprise you. You note that their brains appear to be florescent yellow, which makes sense to you. Yellow is a color commonly associated to camstruism.

Or at least it is now. To you. Anyway, you check the other commie soldier. He's... probably dead? You're fairly confident that people do need their stomach to survive and he's missing a lot of his and not breathing. You spear him in the head with Babe Ruthless anyway, just to be sure and because the last coat of blood was close to drying. You holster your desert eagle and Babe Ruthless and sit down. You notice that your friend's helmet fell off your head in all the commotion. You pick it up and turn it over in your hands contemplatively whilst you try, for the first time in about four hours, to figure out what the fuck just happened.

Eventually, you reach a conclusion. Jamming the helmet back on your head, you rise to your feet, stand sidelong to the door, unholster your Tommy gun, hold it at your hip and put on a badass facial expression.

You just happened.

It'd look really awesome if someone came through the door and saw you now.

But nobody does.

What do you do?

Wearing:
Mask of Sensibility
PANTS OF LIBERTY
Blood stained sensible shoes
Helmet
Kevlar vest

Inventory:
Wallet ($90)
Wrist Watch (12:41)
Valium (too much)
Scum
Sock ($1000)
Colt 45 (0/0)
Backpack (5 clips - Thompson) (Rations - unAmerican (4))
Water bottle (full)
Thompson (average) (30/3)
Desert Eagle (slightly better than average) (BULLETS ARE PATRIOTIC) (4/10)
Babe Ruthless (PATRIOTIC) (proficient) (bayonet) (covered in blood)

Wielding:
Wielding - Thompson (average) (both hands) (30/3)

Mental State:
Sigh. Not a soul.
« Last Edit: June 07, 2010, 12:15:51 am by Jackrabbit »
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Enzo

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #297 on: June 07, 2010, 12:13:21 am »

Wearing:
Mask of Sensibility
PANTS OF LIBERTY
Blood stained sensible shoes
Helmet

+ Kevlar Vest. Unless this vest is like the opposite of The Book.

This place is boring. And I'm pretty sure we haven't had anything non-hallucinogenic to eat for like, a couple hours. Attempt to track down a vending machine, Arby's, or otherwise AMERICAN source of sustenance.

Also examine pants. Are they nice pants?
« Last Edit: June 07, 2010, 12:15:06 am by kinseti »
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Jackrabbit

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #298 on: June 07, 2010, 12:16:28 am »

Thanks, I forgot.
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Phantom

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #299 on: June 07, 2010, 12:30:20 am »

Fuckin Nazi helping commshists.

Suddenly have the feeling to Eviscerate all the non-american/patriotic bodies nearby in the name of America. Also loot in the name of America. (Note: I have no Idea what is going on but I'll try. A little)
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