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[Jackrabbit]

I do, but I swear to God I can't get the thing working properly. Here you are.

[Duke 2.0]

 Make a noise upstairs and hide behind a door. They won't see you 'till it is too late.
 One may ask why one would hide, like a COMMIE. Well, do note that these Reds are odd folks, who would not be amazed by the splendor of our flag. Clearly you need to BEAT the SENSE into them, then they can stand in awe at the stars and stripes. Not to mention they'll be seeing stars as you lay some bruised stripes on them.

 >Strife: Stars and Stripes

[Criptfeind]

I do, but I swear to God I can't get the thing working properly. Here you are.

Damn that is the website I have been trying (To no avale) to get to work... It has been saying MSVCP71.dll is not found... I may have a old hard drive laying around here with a older version that works tough... I will try to stop de-railing your thread now.

[Jackrabbit]

You run upstairs before quickly popping another Valium(?) and swallow it dry. Gah, it's stuck in your throat. You begin to cough and hack, launching the tablet across the room. Blegh. Downstairs, you hear someone say something in some other language, probably Communiese. You can hear him coming up the stairs. Damn, not enough time to make a mask of sensibility from your sensible shirt. Ah well. He comes pounding up the stairs and you swing! It catches him square in the face and he nearly flips over backwards! A quick check (spitting on him) confirms he's probably maybe dead. He's kitted out with fairly heavy weaponry too. Man are you glad you didn't face this guy on an even footing. Commuslists deserve nothing of the sort. You grab his combat knife and quickly fashion a Mask of Sensibility and slip it over your head. The man appear to have a water bottle, two grenades, what looks like a Tommy Gun and a backpack.

What do you do?

Wearing:
Cashier's Apron
Mask of Sensibility
Stained but still sensible pants
Sensible shoes

Inventory:
Wallet ($90)
Wrist Watch (8:44)
Valium (too much)
Scum
Sock ($1000)
Colt 45

Wielding - Babe Ruthless (PATRIOTIC) (left hand - passive mode) (proficient)
Wielding - Combat Knife (TAINTED BY COMMIE) (right hand - passive mode) (adequate)

Mental State:
Come and get me you bastards! COME AND GET ME!

[webadict]

> Throw grenades at commupits allies.

[Jackrabbit]

Man, you guys sent our all-American lad into a drug fueled murder frenzy fairly quickly. I'm impressed.

[Pandarsenic]

Well, you threw demonic communists at us. What'd you expect?

> Take possession of his things, repeat plan. But with followup stabbings.

[Acanthus117]

Take his Tommygun! DAKKADAKKADAKKA!

[Lidhuin]

Now, now, we don't want to overburden ourselves. Let's be smart, like an american would. And capitalist.

Seize Everything!

uhm, cough yeah... loot the corpse. Priority: Stuff that kills stuff < Stuff that kills stuff better < Stuff that can be sold.

[Cheeetar]

Wipe off commutism on knife with flag.

[silhouette]

insert sock with money into rectum to keep it safe from those dirty communists.

[Pandarsenic]

Wipe off commutism on knife with flag.

That might damage the flag. We cannot.

insert sock with money into rectum to keep it safe from those dirty communists.

YEAAAH CROSS THE LINE BETWEEN FUNNY AND NASTY YEAAAH
We're not doing this either.

[Enzo]

Cut off piece of apron using knife.

Use scrap of apron to tie knife to Babe Ruthless.

Babe Ruthless now menaces with spikes.

[Wimdit]

Yes, the symbol of our nation has already been tainted by Communist blood. We don't want to desecrate it any more.

Now, if you stay here the demonic commies will overwhelm you. Retreat from this mall through a window or something, and find good American allies.

[Jackrabbit]

You take the backpack and put it on. You take the Tommy gun and sling it over your shoulder with the strap, hook the grenades to your belt and almost stab yourself in the leg with the knife before cutting a strip from your apron and using it to affix the knife to Babe Ruthless. Well then. As old Aunt Em would say "Fuck 'em up boy! Get all medieval on their asses!" You never really liked Aunt Em.

You head downstairs. Oh, what good luck! It appears one soldier has left, leave just the two and the Commudemon! You hide in an aisle. They're standing together with their backs to yo - no, wait, one's turning around and calling for someone, probably his friend. He doesn't hear a reply and starts to head over, towards you. You start to wonder if you should have just gone out the window upstairs into the skip.

What do you do?

Wearing:
Damaged cashier's apron
Mask of Sensibility
Stained but still sensible pants
Sensible shoes

Inventory:
Wallet ($90)
Wrist Watch (9:00)
Valium (too much)
Scum
Sock ($1000)
Colt 45 (0/0)
Grenade(s) (2)
Thompson SMG (30/5)
Backpack (unknown)
Water bottle (full)

Wielding - Babe Ruthless (PATRIOTIC) (both hands) (proficient) (bayonet)

Mental State:
Just a little closer. Yeah, that's it... man am I hungry.