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[Jackrabbit]

It appears communists have loaded the wrong reel. We apologize, and we hope this hasn't impacted on your viewing pleasure.

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Let's all go to the lobby, let's all go to the lobby, let's all go to the lobby, and get ourselves some all-American certified anti-commie snacks

America Prevails

It's another beautiful day in pristine, perfect America. You woke up this morning happy to be alive in a country such as this, as always. Your name is Johnny Smith and you're an all American 19 year old. You never drink, never smoke, you have many, many American pals, hate Communism (although you're not too sure what Communism is) and you've got a variety of good ol' American interests. You are, in short, exactly what this country needs in its fight against commuquism. Next year it's off to college! You can hardly wait, but you've always lived for the present and you aren't planning to stop now, so you'll need to be getting to work at the local supermarket in about an hour. You hop out of bed and go about your daily chores, and with half an hour to go, you're ready for work. You love your house. You won the sweepstakes just after finishing High School and you bought this house straight away. After furnishing it, you had about $1000 left over. You still do. It's for a rainy day. Outside, your new cadillac sits idle, waiting to send you on your way to another day of productive capitalism! God bless America!

What do you do?

Wearing:
Sensible shirt
Sensible pants
Sensible shoes

Inventory:
Wallet ($50)
Wrist Watch (8:30)
Valium (too much)

Mental State:
God I love America

[webadict]

> Check the date.
> Remember where this money is.

[Virroken]

>Ingest valium (too much)

[Phantom]

Hrm.

Drive the Caddie through Dixie Square Mall.

Free cookie black suit, sunglasses and hat for anyone who gets the reference.

Anyway, what are the contents of the house my good man?

[Duke 2.0]

 Join college cult.

[Labs]

Convert to communism. Start a revolution.

[Phantom]

Convert to communism. Start a revolution.

I disagree my good man.

[Jackrabbit]

Part One: Pristine Suburbia

It's March 3rd, and what a beautiful March 3rd it is! Much like last year. You remember that your money is currently in the bank, right where any good American should keep his money!

No, wait. It's in an old sock under a loose floorboard under your bed. You've been meaning to take it to the bank, but you just haven't found the time, what with your baseball and apple pie eating contests. You briefly consider converting to commupism, but dismiss the notion. Ridiculous! It goes against everything you believe in. Besides, you need to be at work by nine or old Mr. Jameson will give you a good going over, that's for darn sure, golly gosh yes. You remember the Valium, but you feel fantastic! Why would you want to take it? Gosh what a silly notion. You hop in your Cadillac and start the engine. The mall was your destination anyway. You had actually forgot the name. Dixie Square Mall is as good a name as any, you suppose.

What do you do?

Wearing:
Sensible shirt
Sensible pants
Sensible shoes

Inventory:
Wallet ($50)
Wrist Watch (8:30)
Valium (too much)

Mental State:
God I love America. Also, Commrutism is terrible.

[Strife26]

Put money into bank.

[Phantom]

 Realize your hatred for malls and go crashing through the wall that is part of Toys-R-Us.

Also: Trade Caddie for a microphone and buy a Dodge Monaco Police Cruiser from the Mount Prospect PD.

[Jackrabbit]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Just in case you're wondering, Johnny's not going to do anything he finds amoral (which'd be a lot, considering the time period) or insane just because you tell him to. He might, but it's not going to just happen.

[Phantom]

In case of not doing the above, go to your work happily and accept low wages and low workers rights.

[webadict]

> Work hard, in hopes of getting promoted.

[Jackrabbit]

You hop out of your car. Might as well do it now if you're ever going to. You run back inside and reach under your bed. Wait... wait... got it! You stuff the sock into your pocket and head back out to the car, turn the ignition on and head off. About ten minutes later, you've arrived at the mall. As you arrive, what looks like an old police car zooms past, followed by several other police cars. They totally fail to head into the mall and cause severe property damage. You don't know why you even thought about that. Ah well. Another 20 minutes later and you're working hard at the register! Gosh, what fun. You make plans for your lunch break. First, you'll go to the bank and put the $1000 into your account and - oh, it's still in your pocket. You thought you had put it in your locker. Well, surely nothing'll happen to it. Still, the thought of having so much money in your pocket stresses you out a tad. You can't believe you forgot. Also, the sky just cracked open and men with guns flanked by horrific demonic creatures appear to be advancing on the supermarket. This is also cause for some concern. You freak the fuck out, much like everyone else in the supermarket.

What do you do?

Wearing:
Cashier's Apron
Sensible shirt
Stained but still sensible pants
Sensible shoes

Inventory:
Wallet ($50)
Wrist Watch (9:00)
Valium (too much)
Sock ($1000)

Mental State:
Oh my fucking God that thing has way to many legs oh Jesus I can't believe this is happening oh God nonononono

Note: Johnny is now stressed. Whilst stressed, he'll do whatever moronic thing you want him to, but chances of success are lower and I'd like to remind you he can still die if you guys screw up.

[Criptfeind]

Take Valium (too much), you know you are going to need it.