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Author Topic: America Prevails  (Read 25721 times)

Pandarsenic

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #375 on: January 22, 2011, 09:44:17 am »

/singletear
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KARATE CHOP TO THE SOUL
Your bone is the best Pandar honey. The best.
YOUR BONE IS THE BEST PANDAR
[Cheeetar] Pandar doesn't have issues, he has style.
Fuck off, you fucking fucker-fuck :I

Jackrabbit

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #376 on: January 22, 2011, 06:24:51 pm »

Well, community college is a looong way awaaaay. You jump up and down on the pentagram, you slap at it ineffectually, you even hit it with the butt of your Tommy, but no, nothing. Damn it. You trudge off, briefly entertaining the idea of getting high and killing nuns but deciding that you've procrastinated enough. You get back to walking through the devistated city. It's, well, it's a shithole, sure, but you're less affected, finally having a real, tangible goal. You arrive at the front of the campus, which appears to be positioned directly under a gigantic tear in the sky, with red clouds, short, sharp showers of blood and the screams of the damned bleeding out into the surrounding area. That bodes well.

So anyway. You walk up to the front doors of what is probably reception but now looks like a giant hellish twisted mess. Out front stand a Columbintist patrolling, but you quickly unholster your Desert Eagle and squeeze off a shot, which hits him side on in the shoulder, knocking him unconcious and leaving him to bleed out. Hey, you're getting better at this. A quick peek through the glass door at the front of the building reveals nothing but a ruined receptionist's desk and a... flag pole? What happened to the flag? Those fuckers.

What do you do?

Wearing:
Mask of Sensibility
PANTS OF LIBERTY
SHIRT OF DEMOCRATIC VALUES
UNDERPANTS OF NOT-FULL-OF-TERROR-SHIT
Steel capped boots
Helmet
Kevlar vest

Inventory:
Wallet ($90)
Wrist Watch (1:32)
Valium (too much)
Scum
Sock ($1000)
Colt 45 (0/0)
Backpack (5 clips - Thompson) (Rations - unAmerican (4))
Water bottle (full)
Thompson (average) (30/3)
Babe Ruthless (PATRIOTIC) (proficient) (bayonet) (covered in blood)

Wielding:
Desert Eagle (slightly better than average) (BULLETS ARE PATRIOTIC) (3/10)

Mental State:
DEY TUK ER FLAGS.
« Last Edit: January 22, 2011, 10:20:37 pm by Jackrabbit »
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Jackrabbit

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #377 on: January 22, 2011, 06:25:37 pm »

Oh, and happy 2011.

New Years resolution:
PUNCH SATAN.
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USEC_OFFICER

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #378 on: January 22, 2011, 06:39:41 pm »

The way I look at it, we either have to make a flag, find a flag or use the one on Babe Ruthless, because we aren't letting that flagpole go without proudly waving an American flag.

Also, Yes! It's alive!
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MetalSlimeHunt

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #379 on: January 22, 2011, 06:39:53 pm »

> Find a map of the campus in reception, and set off for either the Science Wing or Theater.
 
After all, science is an affront to god, and thus communist. And acting....we all know what a stain Hollywood has become on the nation's rightiousness. Surely they would be somewhere around them.
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Quote from: Thomas Paine
To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead, or endeavoring to convert an atheist by scripture.
Quote
No Gods, No Masters.

V-Norrec

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #380 on: January 22, 2011, 06:42:04 pm »

Fueled by patriotic rage, grab the flag pole and use it to spear the next demon creature you see.  American Flag, Demon Corpse, both are equally patriotic.

Shade-o

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #381 on: January 22, 2011, 06:56:39 pm »

Find a large white cloth from a janitorial closet, then stain it red with the blood of your enemies. Then head to the science lab and find a crab or lobster in a tank, and use its blood to stain your new flag blue. Thus you shall create the American Flag, born from the blood of dead communists and science-creatures.


Also, it appears that the campus is positioned over the sky.
« Last Edit: January 22, 2011, 07:07:19 pm by Shade-o »
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Apparently having a redundant creature entry causes the game to say, "Oh, look, it's crazy world now. Nothing makes sense! Alligators live in houses!"

Jackrabbit

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #382 on: January 22, 2011, 10:20:49 pm »

Well spotted.
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Pandarsenic

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #383 on: January 23, 2011, 01:47:50 pm »

IT LIVES
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KARATE CHOP TO THE SOUL
Your bone is the best Pandar honey. The best.
YOUR BONE IS THE BEST PANDAR
[Cheeetar] Pandar doesn't have issues, he has style.
Fuck off, you fucking fucker-fuck :I

Jackrabbit

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #384 on: January 23, 2011, 05:46:42 pm »

You quickly burst into reception, thankfully empty, locate a map and pinpoint the science department, which looks like the best place to go to you, as you vaguely remember the place as having at least one lobster, a creature that's red, white and blue, provided you take a mallet to it. It seems like the most comforting place to go, if not particularly helpful in your quest of getting to Hell. Also there's this flag problem, which you cannot leave unfixed. Didn't the Americans win the Battle of Bunker Hill with a flag and two kilos of apple pie? Hell yes they did.

In your mind at the very least.


You kick open the door of the janitorial closet and search through it, eventually locating a dirty rag that will never in a million years graduate to flaghood. Huh. You're going to have to find some truly worthwhile cloth to make a flag out of. You have Babe Ruthless but if you take the flag off her, you'll be left alone and you couldn't deal with that. You pick up the flag pole and head to a side door to walk to the thankfully quite close by Science Wing. Oooooh shit. Looking out the window, you notice one, no two, very important things. Firstly, there appears to be a train resting on the central field. The tracks run a little way behind the train and disappear into a hole in the ground. Freaky. Second, there is a huge number of soldiers and large, nasty looking demons all over campus. Too many to count and far too many to kill, certainly. You're going to have to find a way past them. Oh good.

Wearing:
Mask of Sensibility
PANTS OF LIBERTY
SHIRT OF DEMOCRATIC VALUES
UNDERPANTS OF NOT-FULL-OF-TERROR-SHIT
Steel capped boots
Helmet
Kevlar vest

Inventory:
Wallet ($90)
Wrist Watch (1:36)
Valium (too much)
Scum
Sock ($1000)
Colt 45 (0/0)
Backpack (5 clips - Thompson) (Rations - unAmerican (4))
Water bottle (full)
Thompson (average) (30/3)
Babe Ruthless (PATRIOTIC) (proficient) (bayonet) (covered in blood)

Wielding:
Desert Eagle (slightly better than average) (BULLETS ARE PATRIOTIC) (3/10) (right hand)
Flag Pole (cumbersome) (left hand)

Mental State:
D:
« Last Edit: January 23, 2011, 05:48:48 pm by Jackrabbit »
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MetalSlimeHunt

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #385 on: January 23, 2011, 05:59:55 pm »

Take valium.
Try to travel by rooftop.
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Quote from: Thomas Paine
To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead, or endeavoring to convert an atheist by scripture.
Quote
No Gods, No Masters.

V-Norrec

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #386 on: January 23, 2011, 06:01:44 pm »

"Those damn Commie hell soldiers, impeding the march of freedom and victory!"  Head to the staff lounge and see if there is anything we might be able to use to cause a distraction in there.

ibot66

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Re: assimilate-u
« Reply #387 on: January 23, 2011, 08:40:27 pm »

Awsome
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Jackrabbit

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #388 on: January 23, 2011, 09:02:02 pm »

What? I have no wish to be assimilated, go away if that is your intention.
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The Doctor

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #389 on: January 23, 2011, 09:03:59 pm »

Use the power of AMERICA to become a superhero
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