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Author Topic: America Prevails  (Read 25722 times)

Acanthus117

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #30 on: March 26, 2010, 12:50:26 am »

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Is apparently a Lizardman. ಠ_ಠ
YOU DOUBLE PENIS
"The pessimist is either always right or pleasantly surprised; he cherishes that which is good because he knows it cannot last."

Cheddarius

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #31 on: March 26, 2010, 12:51:59 am »

> hoard cereal behind the counter. eat some.
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Jackrabbit

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #32 on: March 26, 2010, 12:54:44 am »

You heft your bat and stare at it reverently. I hereby name you... Babe Ruthless. A good, American name. You take the scum out, throw it at the metal to no effect and then take some more from under the cash register. It's like, scum city under there. Really unpleasant, actually. You put it in your pocket, the one that doesn't have the Valium in it. People are fighting among themselves now, mad with terror. Some are making a desperate bid for calm but it's clearly not working and besides, panicking is UNAMERICAN so there's no point helping them.
You run upstairs and find the manager at his desk, shaking violently. There is a Colt 45 on the desk. You walk up to him and salute.
"Sir! Ready to fight for TRUTH, JUSTICE, and the AMERICAN WAY, sir!" The manager stares at you.
"O-okay, son, g-g-good. T-that's good..."
"Those rotten commbies won't stand a chance!"
"Those what?"
You stare at him. The man is clearly a red sympathiser, as you have suspected for some time (alright, you haven't really). You quickly swing your bat at him, breaking his nose and knocking him out! He was a threat to Democracy anyway.

What do you do?

Wearing:
Cashier's Apron
Sensible shirt
Stained but still sensible pants
Sensible shoes

Inventory:
Wallet ($50)
Wrist Watch (8:40)
Valium (too much)
Scum
Sock ($1000)

Wielding - Baseball bat (both hands) (proficient)

Mental State:
Home run! That's the game, commie. No, no. Home run and game over for you, cammie. No, that doesn't work either. Man, do I feel good.
« Last Edit: March 26, 2010, 12:56:17 am by Jackrabbit »
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Acanthus117

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #33 on: March 26, 2010, 12:56:24 am »

sing the national anthem while beating the sympathizer to a fucking bloody pulp!
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Is apparently a Lizardman. ಠ_ಠ
YOU DOUBLE PENIS
"The pessimist is either always right or pleasantly surprised; he cherishes that which is good because he knows it cannot last."

Criptfeind

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #34 on: March 26, 2010, 01:00:39 am »

Take gun, end comeey.
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Enzo

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #35 on: March 26, 2010, 01:03:08 am »

And don't forget to loot the desk and the corpse.
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Urist McOverlord

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #36 on: March 26, 2010, 01:04:50 am »

>Give the gun to somebody who can actually wield it proficiently.

>Arm the others with more bats, and prepare them to fight for TRUTH, JUSTICE, and THE AMERICAN WAY. Join them with Babe Ruthless. We will reach that gun store. In AMERICA!

>Break something. Preferably demonic.  Or communist. Ideally both.
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Magma: The cause of, and solution to, all life's problems.

If it moves, it wants to kill you. It may not try to, but it wants to.

Enzo

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #37 on: March 26, 2010, 01:06:12 am »

>Give the gun to somebody who can actually wield it proficiently.

Are you suggesting that there is a red-blooded, commie-hating American alive who can't wield a handgun?!?
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Cheeetar

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #38 on: March 26, 2010, 01:06:29 am »

Find a flag to impale comyuolists with.
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I've played some mafia.

Most of the time when someone is described as politically correct they are simply correct.

Pandarsenic

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #39 on: March 26, 2010, 01:10:34 am »

Eat gun and absorb its powers!
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KARATE CHOP TO THE SOUL
Your bone is the best Pandar honey. The best.
YOUR BONE IS THE BEST PANDAR
[Cheeetar] Pandar doesn't have issues, he has style.
Fuck off, you fucking fucker-fuck :I

silhouette

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #40 on: March 26, 2010, 01:12:25 am »

Find and push the unpanic button.
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# PowerGoal49, SCREAM BALL, (Future): Trolls take the captives and see if they can throw them all the way over the chasm to each other.
---
SCREW EVERYTHING ELSE! I WANT THIS!

Duke 2.0

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #41 on: March 26, 2010, 01:16:41 am »

 Get American flag.
 Tie to Babe Ruthless.
 Liberate the Communists of their blood.
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Buck up friendo, we're all on the level here.
I would bet money Andrew has edited things retroactively, except I can't prove anything because it was edited retroactively.
MIERDO MILLAS DE VIBORAS FURIOSAS PARA ESTRANGULARTE MUERTO

Jackrabbit

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #42 on: March 26, 2010, 01:21:17 am »

Oh, you do really feel good. You're not sure this is Valium, actually. But what do you care? You certainly haven't before. Why do you think you've got upwards of thirty of the things in your pocket? You grab the gun, point it at the Red bastard and pull the trigger. Except you can't, safety's on. You switch it off, and pull the - darn it, there's no ammunition in this thing! You shove the gun in your back pocket and frisk the unconcious pinko. No ammo on him either, but you do take the master key and about $40 from his wallet. What would a Commurisk need with money? Doesn't money set them on fire? You heard that somewhere. You unlock his desk and it turns up empty aside from boring paperwork and office supplies. Why did he even have the gun in the first place? This is infuriating! Looks like the gun store is your second stop today. You put the gun in your mouth and chew on it contemplatively. Where was that again? Your ineffective gun chewing is interrupted by a loud explosion downstairs. You forget about the unconscious Red and head downstairs. Ooooh dear, it appears that the Clommugrists have blown open the front door, and most of the front wall. A demon and some soldiers stream in. Looks like lockdown has failed you. People's panicked cries turn to screams of pain and horror as they're gunned and clawed down. You swing Babe over your shoulder; looks like it's time to... kill things. Hm. Simple, but it does the job. Although, even in your... less than logical state, it's obvious that a head on attack would be suicidal. You're going to have to be clever about this. You run upstairs, insert the keys into the slot, turn it and hit the panic button. The lights come back on fully and you appear to have given yourself some better options. You grab the American flag off the wall of the office (the bastard had the indecency to put one up, presumably to help his cover) and wrap it tightly around Babe. Let them just deal with you now. You will murder them patriotically.

What do you do?

Wearing:
Cashier's Apron
Sensible shirt
Stained but still sensible pants
Sensible shoes

Inventory:
Wallet ($90)
Wrist Watch (8:50)
Valium (too much)
Scum
Sock ($1000)
Colt 45 (0/0)

Wielding - Babe Ruthless (PATRIOTIC) (both hands) (proficient)

Mental State:
Whooooo man.
« Last Edit: March 26, 2010, 01:23:45 am by Jackrabbit »
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Pandarsenic

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #43 on: March 26, 2010, 01:24:46 am »

Turn SENSIBLE SHIRT into MASK.

They will see our eyes and DEATH when we come for them.
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KARATE CHOP TO THE SOUL
Your bone is the best Pandar honey. The best.
YOUR BONE IS THE BEST PANDAR
[Cheeetar] Pandar doesn't have issues, he has style.
Fuck off, you fucking fucker-fuck :I

Criptfeind

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Re: America Prevails
« Reply #44 on: March 26, 2010, 01:27:57 am »

Pop a Valium (too much) and go into Rambo mode stalking and killing them one by one.

(Also do you still have that ascii draw thing you used for that one game with the daemons? My copy stopped working and I cant get a good copy off of the website.)
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