No more epic failing at writing turns from now on. The positive part is that I could rethink the outcomes for the actions, so I'ma spice it up a little to make up for my extreme retardedness. Also, woo! First sig! Double woo! Turn 30!
Turn 30I, While avoiding being sighted by the fort. Look for an easy way to get in.
(1) Knowing that you're teammates seem all to eager to smash those metal balls to bits, you leave the spheres to them and go on to advance your own plans. Splitting away from the group for now, you start walking along the path to the fort. To avoid being detected, you hide behind rocks, jumping from one to the next when nobody is looking. It takes you quite a while to get far using this way of transportation, but it does succeed in keeping you hidden. Until the end that is. As you reach the last boulder on the path, you see that you're still a little way from the main gate. The doors look like they're fortified and there's a giant gear in between the two swing doors. It seems to serve as the lock, but you can't see any mechanism to open it nearby. While you were peeking out from your hide-out, something that seems to have been patrolling atop the wall spots you. Noticing the thing looking at you, you hear a weird sound (
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hyqo_-kGZcY&feature=related) and see an holographic "!" atop the thing's head. Confused by this, you stand there for a second when suddenly the three cannons on the wall turn to you, one of them ending about 3 inches from your face. As you stare down the barrel, your face turns pale with fear. But it's too late. The cannon fires point-blank, shooting a metal ball in your face. The force of the impact forms the ball around your face and sends you flying, causing almost a literal cave-in in your face. The power of the shot pushes you back and you start rolling down the hill, smashing into every boulder on the way. If this were pinball you would've just cracked the highscore multiple times. Sadly for you, this isn't pinball. The good thing about it is that there's no endless pit at the bottom of the path ... Oh wait, yes there is. And you're about to roll into it. Oshi-
I go to the village and ask the villagers for information about the fort's inner defenses
(2) While you're still occupied with running from metal spheres, you suddenly see Wemic approach, his hammer in hand and a smile that looks like the grin of a demon on his face. Knowing that hell will be unleashed here in a few seconds, you think it might be best to get out of here before you're also caught up in his path of destruction. Running away and letting him handle the balls, you look for something else to do. Then you spot the village down by the lake. "
They may have some information about the fortress. We can need any help we get." Making your way down, you walk into the town. For a place like this, it's pretty lively. People are walking around everywhere, carrying around carpets and vases filled with water. It's unlike anything you've ever seen. Well, pretty much unlike anything ANY dwarf has ever seen. Dwarfs are used to seeing burning dwarfs, drowning dwarfs and occasionally both at the same time. There's no hint of giant elephants melting in magma or elves cannibalizing a corpse anywhere. You could get used to this nice place. Still, something disturbs you. Since you've started walking through the streets here, the people stared at you and gave you angry looks. Pretty much everyone here seems pretty gloomy. But you just keep on going, looking for a place that looks more important than the others. Soon you come along a huge hut that looks like the home of a VIP. Entering slowly, you shout: "
Is anybody in here?" Suddenly the door slams closed behind you and 4 figures emerge from the corners of the room. They hold you at spear-point with their ... well spears. Standing there, you try to tell them that you mean no harm and you come in peace while making that intergalactic peace sign thing with your hands, but they won't react. Then the rug infront of you, which you thought was just wall decoration, moves to the side and a man with a long beard comes out. After looking at you from top to bottom he says: "
What do you want from us? We've already made our delivery this month. There's no reason for you to come here!" You're unsure what he's talking about, but he doesn't seem happy about your presence at all.
I wander out of the house and attack the metal balls that seem to be attacking us, with my warhammer. I convince the others who are still around and not climbing cliffs with broken arms that we should get some shelter. Also, if there is time, question Evra Von on the inhabitants of the fortress and their defenses and whatnot, since Evra was being held there and experimented on and all.
(6) After seeing that Acanthus is healthy enough to babble randomly, you get up and decide to look at the cause of that noise just now. Making your way up the path, you spot McCoy along the way. Calling out to him, you ask: "
Are you alright down there?" "
Yeah, of course! I broke my arm, but I'm alright" "
What? You broke your arm? How?" "
Eh, I just made a small mistake and dropped down that cliff. But I'm gonna try again right now!" "
... WHAT. You want to climb that wall with a broken arm?!" "
Yep." "
No you're not. Promise that you won't." "
But I d-" "
PROMISE!" "
Ok, ok, geez man. I promise I won't alright?" "
Good." You give him one more sharp, evil look and then proceed up the hill, hoping that he won't be insane enough to actually crawl up that thing with one hand. You at least want to be able to hope that, but with your teammates you may never know. As you reach the top, you see Opal running from two metal balls. As you spot them, you are suddenly overtaken by a burning sensation. You feel like you just have to crush, destroy, bash and obliterate the shit out of those metal spheres. Seeing the almost literal fire in your eyes, Opal knows it's time to leave and makes her way out. You on the other hand, are just getting started. With your hammer in the hand, you go into a terminator-like stance and say coldbloodedly: "
It's crushing time." As they spot you, the spheres turn and start speeding towards you. When they're about to jump and smash into you, you suddenly disappear. Confused they roll around when you reappear out of thin air and swing your hammer down with the force of light. (5+1) It sinks down into the metal housing of the ball and almost turns it inside out. The thing is completely crushed as you vanish once again. The still surviving one starts to panic and tries to roll away, but your hammer swings down on top of it. (6) (Bajesus, you're lucky man) It collapses in on itself and is propelled backwards by the force of the blow. Flying through the air, it crashes into the scraps of the other one. As they touch, they send out a shockwave and right after that a huge explosion. You turn away since cool guys still don't look at explosions and try to look as badass as possibly without being Chuck Norris.
Alright, now that I'm awake, I then use my LOGIC DEFYING SKILLS to create a suit that makes me all smexy and stuff (yes, I still want in on the goddess's pants. LOGIC WILL NEVER BEAT ME.)
(6) Having awaken from your sleep, you decide to get back to the ground. Or are you still asleep? Did you even fall asleep? Is everybody asleep and you're really the only one awake? Or is all this just a dream? With you around, nothing makes sense anymore. At all. For the sake of not blowing up any more brains today, you walk a bit away from your group before you attempt to break the world once and for all. Standing up high like a three-legged octopus lion, you shnickdawup ... I think you broke my brain, too. Wait, ... Okay, I'm fine again. So, where were we? Oh yeah. Standing tall above the ground, you lift your arm above your head. Babbling some intangible words, you swing down your arm with your fingernails acting like claws. You cut through the very fabrics of time and space themselves to create a mansized, multicolored portal floating infront of you. Any sane man would run away from that thing before reality collapsed in on itself. You're not sane. You're not even insane. You're BEYOND insanity. Doctor Frankenstein ain't got nothin' on you. So being the freak of nature you are, you retardedly JUMP into the rip in the universe. For a few seconds there's silence. A hay-ball passes by. Time goes on. Then out of freaking nowhere, you shoot out of the portal and into the mud infront of it, the rift closing behind you. You seem to be unchanged from that trip into probably the most irrational place to exist ... or ... not exist, I guess, depending on how you look at it. Still, you've emerged unscathed and with a new, fancy full-body suit. This thing makes you look so awesome that Michael Jackson in his Thriller jacket would blush. Not even Megan Fox could reach this level. With this, the goddess will want to be the one to make love with you. But, it seems like she won't be the only one affected. Since you've returned every MALE member of your group nearby has been staring at you with pink cartoon hearts replacing their eyes. This would creep you out if you weren't already weirder.
Give the cliff another crack
(1) (You knew it would happen.) After your short and emotional speech with your best-buddy Wemic, you tilt over to the side and follow him with your eyes. Waiting till a few seconds after he's left your view, you say to yourself: "
Yeah right, like that'll stop me." Not even giving the promise a thought anymore, you make your way to the wall. It wasn't even really a promise. If it were a real promise then it would've been a pinky promise. Everybody knows that only pinky promises are the one true promises and that only they really count. D'oh. Now you did think about it. Anyway, standing next to the rocky surface, you decide to give it another go, broken arm or not. Putting your good hand on the wall and your feet in place, you start making your way up. Instead of using your broken arm, you use your teeth to hold on to the rocks infront of you. While it might not be very hygienic it seems to be pretty effective. Still, those dirty rocks taste like crap. As you approach the top, you notice some broken off wall-parts. It seems like you've reached the point where you fell last time. "
Huh. How could I fail here? I mean, this is totally easy, even without using both my hands. I must've been distracted by something. Yeah, that's it! I was distracted! That's the only logica- uuuUUUAAAHHH! It seems like the word logic is forbidden within a ten-mile radius of Acanthus. Slipping on the same exact rock as last time, you tumble and fall down again. Somewhere in midair you black out, cause really, you already know how this'll end. After you wake up, you slowly stand up and examine yourself. Ok everything alright here ... and there ... and damnit. Why the other one too? Wait a minute ... do you know what this means? DOUBLE BROKEN ARM CRIPPLE DANCE PARTY!
I shoryuken the metal balls back at the fort!
(2) Playing around with your new hat, you get bored with it after a while and put it back on. Seeing Wemic march off in a random direction and you having nothing better to do, you decide to stalk him. Giving your parasite a hand signal, the two of you start following him unnoticed. On the way you hear a weird conversation between him and McCoy, but you didn't really listen to much of the content. The main things you heard were "cliff", "fall" and "broken arm" which made you snicker at his misfortune. Proceeding onward, you wait behind a rock and look at the ensuing massacre created by Wemic going berserk on the two metal balls. Hiding behind the boulder is probably the only way to evade his wrath. While you're there you might as well make a plan. You start to do complex math equations in your head, calculating just how to hit the balls so they would fly back at the fort and hit its weak point for massive damage. (damnit tvtropes) You forgot to add one thing into your equations though: Wemic. As you come out of your hiding spot, ready to shoryuken the spheres in a perfect arc at the castle, you discover that they ceased to exist. Wemic seems to have gone a
little overboard with his bashing and turned them into a fine metal mist. Saddened that your plan will go unexecuted, you sit down next to your parasite-ugly and imagine playing a round of Street Fighter 4 with him, while complaining about the shitty controls.
Make a rope, and tie it round one of thise Cannonballers.
(2) With this heap of random strands, you have no idea where to start. Thinking that it might be a great idea to do the only thing you can think of that will use these, you start picking out some of the strings to make a rope. But the trouble already starts here. It takes a lot of force to get only one strand out of the giant knot that calls itself pile, but if you pull too hard you may rip it apart. After a few unsuccessful tries, you gather enough strings to start working. Putting one over the other and starting to tie them together, you feel like a old grandma knitting a sweater and that's not one of the feelings you should have. Realizing that something takes a lot of time and efforts, you keep on going. Whenever you try to speed the process up, you mess something up and have to start over again. But then, you finally stand victorious! You finished ... a 5 inch rope ... yeah, back to work. After another while you just give up and sit back, imagining that you're playing SF4 Online against Dragnar, since you have nothing better to do anyway.
See if Tarran and Opal are okey, then examine the two metal balls that acted so strangely.
(5) You would take a look at the balls, but Wemic sent them to the next dimension. There's not even rubble left of those things anymore. Gotta give him credit for cleaning up the mess he made though. You notice that during the conflict and while you were hiding, Tarran and Opal seem to have walked away in opposite directions. Unable to decide which one to go to, you flip a coin which you totally had with you from the start. Totally. (Heads: Tallan, Tails: Opal) As you catch the coin and smack it on your hand, you see that it's showing tails. Off to the village it is! Making your way down the path to the little town. Walking through the streets, you say hi to everybody you see and they respond with a hello and a big smile. The people are very nice here, you sure could get used to this. As you're moving all over the place, you notice the big hut and this feeling that you have to go in there. As you go through the door you shout: "
Helloo! Is anybody in ... Opal!" You run in and up to her, starting to tell her how she could leave you up there and just go without saying anything. While you're interrogating her, you don't even notice the four confused spear-men and the bearded old guy with the fancy goggles. When you finally see him you go: "
Oh ... hey there, what's up?" with a big fat "
" smile on your face. Thankfully he seems less hostile now and doesn't take it the wrong way. "
Wait a second ... you know this ... this thing?" he says while rudely pointing at Opal. You just stand there for a second, unsure whether to punch him in the face for being a mingebag or to just keep on smiling ... while punching him in the face.
In and out of character, I am completely lost (also my location still says I'm at the house) so I'll just play the a song on the guitar.
Windmill, windmill for the land
Turn forever hand in hand
Take it all in on your stride
It is sinking, falling down
Love forever, love is free
Let's turn forever, you and me
Windmill, windmill for the land
Is everybody in?
(5) Being completely confused and having lost any sense of direction, you spontaneously take your guitar of your back and start playing the best song made by the Gorillaz. (
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eH1UmMu3R7o&feature=related) Singing the lyrics at the same time, you perfectly play every chord, every note, singing the text perfectly and generally being most awesome. As you play, you're heard throughout the valley below you. When you're finished, you suddenly hear something that sounds like clapping. It seems to come from the fort and the village simultaneously. Happy that somebody appreciates your music, you stand up when you see that three of those small metal balls come rolling down the path. They suddenly go behind you and arms come out from their sides. They pick you up and restrain you, abducting you to the fort. They've blocked your eyes on the way and the next thing you know, you're inside a huge hall with hundreds of weird-looking robots standing there infront of you. Confused you look around. It looks like you're on a stage and there's some boxes behind you. One of those cannonballs stands next to the stage and points at you and then at you're guitar. "
You ... want me to play?" The ball rolls back and forth, looking like it's trying to make a nodding movement. Your confusion stops as drums start playing in the background. You just go with the flow as a microphone emerges from the ground. You start singing and playing your song again, all the robot things seem to be celebrating. This sure is weird. After you finish, they seem to want an encore. They really do seem to love your music. Also, all this playing has made you alot better.
-----
Artifacts:This special tophat came from the Quantum-Supply in Twilight Town. It consists completely of a kind of crystal and is adorned with many others. Around the cylindrical part of the hat are bands made of special earth minerals including sapphire and quartz in different colors. Around the flat side of the hat are many small jewels in a circular pattern. Looking at them closely, you notice that they seem to form a wave-like picture. At the front of the hat is a huge diamond that, when pressed, activates the armor mode. In the armor mode, long strands of crystal swing around the wearer's body till one, connected suit is formed. The armor is also adorned with jewels in the same fashion as the hat.
Abilities:
-Armor-mode (Activation/Deactivation is a free action.)
A truly legendary hammer, it was once the weapon and tool of the smith Ulthane. The top of the sledgehammer consists of two, average-sized golden anvils joined together. Around the shaft of the weapon are long thin bands of purple silk. At the bottom of the shaft is a small symbol that looks like a hammer. The point where the two anvils are combined has a skull emblem on it and the other side is inscribed with the name "Ulthane".
Abilities:
-Stonewave: When the side of the hammer is smashed into the ground, a wave of stones is lifted up infront of the user. The wave throws up or destroys anything in its way until it comes to a stop, about 100 feet farther.
Quite a powerful artifact, the Staff of Elements strengthens the wielder's magic powers and can use the elements in several ways. The shaft of the staff is about 5 feet long and modeled after two dragons turning around eachother. One is made of dark wood and the other of white wood. At the top of the staff sits a crystal ball, its source of power. The ball is held in place by the heads of the dragons. When the staff changes it's element, the ball glows in a color accordingly.
Abilities:
Element-Change (free action, but can only be changed once a turn)
Elemental Ball - Shoots a ball made of the current element
Location: In a weird Concert-Hall
Health: Healthy
Equipment: Loincloth (worn), Blood-soaked clothes (worn), Broken, Soul-bound Rapier, Climbing Gear, Map of Spike-land, Acoustic Guitar (across back)
Abilities: Fencer, Enchanter, Ambusher, Guitarist
Location: In the Village, in the Chief's Hut
Health: Healthy
Equipment: Loincloth (worn), Shirt (worn), Backpack (worn), Belt (worn), Shoes (worn),Dwarven Armor (worn), Flask of Alcohol-Holding (on belt), Clawhammer (in bag)
Abilities: Terramancer, Pyromancer
Location: At the House, next to a Pile of Strings
Health: Healthy
Equipment: Loincloth (worn), Clothes (worn), Huge Sledgehammer, Porta-Supply
Abilities: Bodybuilder, "You can't run."
Location: At the bottom of a cliff, dancing
Health: Two Broken Arms
Equipment: Loincloth (worn), Casual Armor (worn), Crystal Tophat of Armors (worn, activated), Blue Cube
Abilities: Persuader
Location: At the top of a Hill
Health: Healthy
Equipment: Loincloth (worn), Magician's Robes (worn), Staff of Elements (held), Steampunk Wizard's Hat (worn)
Abilities: Illusionist, Regeneration
Location: At the top of a Hill
Health: Healthy
Equipment: Loincloth (worn), Thin Leather Clothes (worn), Hammer of Light, Spiked Lion-Armor, Sun-Stone of Return
Abilities: Parcour, Enchanter
Location: At the House
Health: Healthy
Equipment: Loincloth (worn), Futuristic Katana, Fancy Suit of Hotness (worn)
Abilities: Swordsman, Psyche, Rune-lore, Chi Blast
Location: Rolling down the hill towards a pit
Health: Healthy
Equipment: Sewn Leather Armor, X-Tender Blade, Binoculars
Abilities: Longsword Fighter
Location: In the Village, in the Chief's Hut
Health: Healthy
Equipment: Metal Boomerang, Light Armor
Abilities: Snake Boy
Inactive:Location: Unknown
Health: Unknown
Equipment: Loincloth (worn), Rocket-Slingshot (held), Small Bag (contains: 10 rocks), Tweezers
Abilities: Slingshot-Sniper, Sprinter, Toolmaker
Location: Unknown
Health: Unknown
Equipment: Loincloth (worn), Scale Armor (worn), Knife (in loincloth), Casual Clothing (worn), Shirt, Clawhammer (in loincloth), Ulthane's Hammer (held)
Abilities: Dodger, Bodybuilder, Handyman, Phasewalker
Owner: Richard (Diakron)
Location: Unknown
Health: Unknown
Equipment: None
Abilities: Gecko-feet, Firebreath
Allies:Owner: Dragnar (dragnar)
Location: At the House
Health: Healthy, Controlling the body of an Ugly Face
Equipment: Bloody Clothes (worn)
Abilities: Body-Control
Machine World
-Mechanical Fortress at the mountain-top, blocking the incoming water
-Dried-out Lake and River (village next to lake, empty house halfway between river and fort)
-House (pile of strings)
-Pathway between Fort and Lake (2 metal balls at the top of a hill)
=====
Extra long turn to celebrate a new milestone! Turn 30!
Hah, this turn is much better than the one last time. Guess I was destined to hit the link to keep me from posting a crappy turn. Viva la destiny! Also, Acanthus please don't ever leave this RTD. Ever. I'm having way to much fun writing turns for your actions.
Author
Topic: Chaosfactions (Turn 37: Song of Storms, The First Healer and Deadly Winds) (Read 78285 times)