So my buddy Grimith finally pulled me out of that dimensional rift I somehow caused. You didn't hear about that? Well of course not, it never happened. Anyway he told me, "Rolan7," (pronouncing the 7 just right), "Rolan7, I'm bored as a caged panda. We've got basically the whole country behind us. We're so popular, I'm honestly surprised the supreme court hasn't been exiled for their ridiculous "Maybe people ought to have the right to bear arms" stance. The bears need those arms more than we do, amirite? Anyway my point is that there's basically no way this can go wrong. It's in the bag. We could probably chillax and drink liberal drinks for a few months and we'd win. Nothing can possibly go wrong now!"
"So while I go pre-emptively celebrate, here's the Beret of Leadership. Try not to get the place burned down for, say, a month. Think you can manage that?"
Ah, Grimith. Such a kidder! Technically I haven't *ever* destroyed the base, three times, with an army of screaming bleeding clones, of Grimith. In this timestream, that is. I'm more than capable of babysitting the base for a month. I'm so capable it hurts! This is going to be such a boring...
... Again, for the first time!? This is *so* not my fault.
"Oddly, this is familiar to you, as if it were from an old dream, but you can't exactly remember... "
Oh wow, I heard that followers not in the active party would fire guns, but I didn't realize how effective it would be. I accidentally wandered into a group that wasn't crippled, but our initial barrage fixed *that*. One soldier survived long enough to wet himself before falling to the swords.
Welp, that went a lot better than that other time that never happened! No "crippled" conservatives one-shotting Grimith from the floor. Of course not. Grimith is far too liberal to be one-shotted. It'd take a liberal amount of bullets to take down Grimith, and bullets aren't liberal, so he's safe.
So now what? Despite the conservative warning that we ought to abandon this safe house, it apparently has no heat now. There's not really any heat anywhere. The public is completely behind us. The CCS is crushed. What is there to do?
Nice duds.
Ninja Red can have 6 more followers. Meaning sleepers. It'd be nice if that included 5 judges, except I can't seem to find any judges at the freakin court house. I bet they're in the restricted areas. But we can't go there, the doors are locked!
Oh, right. Puny doors are no hindrance to liberal ninjas. Locks, yes, but not doors.
Oops. Well, I didn't find any liberal judges in there, but at least I further demonstrated the ineffectiveness of the police force. An ineffectiveness that can only be fixed by taking their guns and making their positions publically elected.
Also, I made the conservative racist mistake of assuming that ninjas all know kung-fu, being asian. Our ninjas aren't even asian, and they certainly don't know kung-fu, but they're so respected by their peers that they're crazy strong so it's all good. Except the police, who are flat.
It's not like a sleeper lawyer will *hurt*, even if they don't help much. At all.
Lies! Slander! Fair and Balanced! The conservative media is at it again!
Good thing we have the Liberal guardian to tell people the TRUTH. People in Florida.
I'm only shot in both arms and my right leg, I'm fine. Now, I was telling you about the corporations man...
Stupid secret conservative judge says he's liberal but we know better, oh yes.
Word on the street is that the police suck and noone likes them. Also they stink.
Was that really the best topic to raise, Green?
A relic of our fallen foes remains! This will not stand.
Ninja Belt has completed a mural incorporating and mocking CCS graffiti, using the entirity of Howe Park.
27% of the people have a favorable opinion of President Dave Crowson, despite hating every single thing he stands for.
More distressingly, even given liberal error, it appears one in one hundred people don't not like AM radio. Time to break out the katanas.
Green: "Don't mind us, we're the ninjas! I mean janitors! I mean... ah, fuck you."
Guard: "OK!"
It was, and I quote, "The best hour of AM radio EVER." Of course if that was the goal, all they had to do was cut the mic LOLOLOL
The people have spoken! At swordpoint! As per well-established historical precedent!
With all the issues with 3 liberal points of 100%, and a collection of soon-to-be-sleepers coming by for interviews, it's time to pass some time.
Mathematicians are influential members of the political community, right? HAHA jk, I used to be a math major. Wonderful people, quite liberal, but probably not the best sleeper agents. As if the University District needed sleepers. Still, I'm going to take them on because why the hell not, and I'm rubbish at interrogations, not to mention they make me uncomfortable. Let's say I granted them membership after a wonderful night at a local bar.
Also met a couple of engineers who work at the Cable News Network. Call themselves the BOFH and the PFY. Suitably weird. I bought them pints, and they promised to "keep things liberal" at the Network.
Got some forms mixed up and inducted a construction worker named Bob. Can we fix it? No, he's a member now.
Finally, a call to arms! Not absolutely everyone is terrified about Nuklear Power (
www.nuklearpower.com)! Don't they know it's been weeks since the last 8-bit theater strip? Time to go smash an Atomic Robo. With swordchucks, yo.
Lab Tech: "Hey stop, who are you??"
Ninja Green: "A hot ninja chick who doesn't believe in clothes"
Lab Tech: "Would you like my passcard?"
Can't we all just get along? To the getaway car? Now that we've sabotaged the state's primary source of power, in the middle of July, probably causing many deaths due to heat stroke as air conditioners shut down?
Ah dangit they spawned right on top of me! Gross!
And with everyone properly terrified, the day is saved! (It rose to 98% the next day, then 100%)
Darn, missed the screen cap, but apparently we've got tanks incoming to Rainey Auto Insurance! "Armored tanks", as opposed to gas tanks I guess. Does our insurance plan cover this??
As a matter of fact, our health insurance does. Have fun with the empty base, suckas!
A policeman attempts to arrest Lily for kissing a unicorn. Upon running out of bullets, Lily McDwarf knocks him cold with the butt, then wanders off. She did shoot him like 8 times also but I'm sure he's fine.
Seems kinda odd to have wanted criminals soliciting donations armed with AK47's. Although, given how that last arrest went, I guess it makes sense.
Oh look, he's back. Brought a friend. Oh well, guess they've managed to mildly inconvience Lily McDwarf. She'll just run away for now and
"how I make dwarves run away lol". Oh well.
PTHTHTHHTHHHHH
The rest of the month is boring. Liberal, but boring. Grimith watches everything like some sort of older male sibling.
Then on the first of, uh, whatever month is after July, the PoPo attempt to arrest Kathy Ives while she commits the heinous crime of soliciting donations (with an M16, at a store, in a mafia suit, with a record of armed assault).
Out of respect for the fallen Lily McDwarf, Kathy runs the hell away. The gun isn't even fully loaded, and she's got no training. It's just for soliciting "donations" I guess.
Nothing else really happened until August 28th, when the Cable News Networks hired some attractive new conservative anchor. I considered sending the ninjas by, but honestly, they couldn't swing a katana in there without hitting one of our sleepers. I'm sure hatred of cable news will return from the unspeakably low 72% to a liberal 100% in a month or two.
Author
Topic: Let's Play: Liberal Crime (Community) Squad (Turn 12 Completed) (Read 24602 times)