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[Geti]

Indeed it is. I suppose I've taken rambling a bit far
I'll fix the particularly jarring issues, a massive thank you for your repeated close reading supermikhail. The emotional perentheticals are a force of habit that I need to deal with quickly, thanks for reminding me.

[Katsuun]

Bit of progress. Been busy a lot lately, so I might not make it however.

http://drop.io/ylu9yig

[Supermikhail]

@Katsuun:
  A lot of typos, some spelling, character confusion, lack of scene transitions where they should be - in short, it's progressed nicely in the spirit of the Frenzy. It's still borderline theatre-film, I think. Well, the dialogue is quite theatry. The second to last scene would be a good place for Morun to throw 'To be or not to be'. Jokes aside, as it is, you had better turn it back into theatre, it has too much rambling for a movie... Or audio-drama. I think it'll work quite nicely. In fact, I encourage you to complete it as such and pitch it to the Bay12 dwellers. It would be very handy to procure the help of a certain Rainseeker with the production.

[Geti]

ff still so much to do. I've got a few more pages done, but I'm going to have to slug it out for a few days to get anywhere near finishing. only at like 38 pages or something >_<

[Supermikhail]

I'm not worried about making it, really. Well, I said in the beginning that I wouldn't obsess with it, but now I've got even more... motivation. First, the Frenzy is about fun, and I've had a lot of fun first writing (although the point of what I've written being a complete story is a bonus), and also criticizing. I feel like... I've done something... productive. The world of unproduced scripts has become a better place.

[Geti]

Hell yeah it has
You've been a hell of a hand this whole time mikhail, cheers. Regardless, I'm going to keep doing this until the script is as done as it will be, whether that takes a few months or not, we'll see.

[Supermikhail]

I'm not giving up, either. Just... screw these dead-lines. After all, it's, like, my first screenplay (at least of such length). Also, the university is a b... On a different note, went to the library, took a book on Norwegian society and medieval towns. We can't have here another StarWars with sound in space, can we?

[Katsuun]

@Katsuun:
  A lot of typos, some spelling, character confusion, lack of scene transitions where they should be - in short, it's progressed nicely in the spirit of the Frenzy. It's still borderline theatre-film, I think. Well, the dialogue is quite theatry. The second to last scene would be a good place for Morun to throw 'To be or not to be'. Jokes aside, as it is, you had better turn it back into theatre, it has too much rambling for a movie... Or audio-drama. I think it'll work quite nicely. In fact, I encourage you to complete it as such and pitch it to the Bay12 dwellers. It would be very handy to procure the help of a certain Rainseeker with the production.

Wait, do you mean as an audio-drama or a theater production?

And I intend to finish before the deadline. And then edit it afterward. IT IS (NOT) POSSIBLE!

EDIT: What the heck does character confusion mean?

[Geti]

Hahah, good to see you doing research. I've done a bit, mostly about Brooklyn and the surrounds, to make sure the premise was plausible, but I've invented most of the places anyway. I'm not sure whether that harms the script or not. I'll get the new version up soon, have to write an english essay now though (fffffffffffffffffffffffffff)

Glad to see someone else feels the same about the deadlines

[Supermikhail]

@Katsuun: It think, there is no chance for you to produce it as a theatre play, due to the setting and sfx. If you're content with having it just as a script, then write in whatever form, but if you'd like to see the finished product (and gain a ton of invaluable experience in producing it), your best bet would be an audio-play. I, personally, feel, in its current form your script is very suitable for it. However, I may be biased by Dwarf Shorts.

Character confusion... ah... is not a scientific term. I used it to denote places where a character leaves the scene, but then is talking in it and, apparently, is meant to be a different character. Just don't skim the character names while editing.

[Katsuun]

More. Still not edited, but I'm on the final stretch and I hope to be done by tomorrow.

http://drop.io/ylu9yig

[Supermikhail]

@Katsuun: Now I've got a real criticism. About Soli's seeing-off. It is detailed and long, yet I don't notice the audience ever shown a cause for this; their deep bond has never been developed, and the only thing there is, is a fight with the kobold. And while I'm on this bit, "I've grown a wee bit fond of you all". Is Soli being ironic here? "A wee bit" - seems too diminutive.

As you seem to be doing it intentionally, I must note that the proper way to write it is o' and not 'o. You're cutting the sound behind "o", not in front.

In general, all this sound cutting is becoming kind of annoying. I can understand what is the purpose, but it would probably be easier to read if you spelt everything the right way, but in the character description noted what accents the characters have.

[Katsuun]

Alright.

@Katsuun: Now I've got a real criticism. About Soli's seeing-off. It is detailed and long, yet I don't notice the audience ever shown a cause for this; their deep bond has never been developed, and the only thing there is, is a fight with the kobold.

This is planned to be longer than a single arc. That will be elaborate more on in future episodes (audios? I still don't know).

And while I'm on this bit, "I've grown a wee bit fond of you all". Is Soli being ironic here? "A wee bit" - seems too diminutive.

That was most likely a slip up on my part. When I get around to editing I'll see what I had planned with that statement.

In general, all this sound cutting is becoming kind of annoying. I can understand what is the purpose, but it would probably be easier to read if you spelt everything the right way, but in the character description noted what accents the characters have.

When I edit it.

[Katsuun]

Victory. 104 pages, just turned in.

http://drop.io/ylu9yig

I also did a little run through and fixed some of the language issues.

[mendonca]

Well done Katsuun. Bravo Indeed.