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[Qloos]

How to play:
Who's Line is it Anyway - Greatest Hits

• Just write a song to theme.
• Title your songs.
• Sunday is voting day.  Top two get added to the list.
• Repeat from first step.

Follow the rules to keep songs neat and tidy.

• [Syllable Count] You may have to meet a specific syllable count, or simply keep your verse within a specific length.
• [Rhyme Scheme] Each line has a specific rhyme or rhythm that keeps the song timing fine.
• [Theme Relevant] If we're talking about cats, don't start talking about donkeys.  Unless the donkeys are somehow relevant to the cats.
• [Verses per Post] A set number, or a range.

Here's a rhyme dictionary for lazy people: http://www.rhymezone.com/

Completed songs list:

Spoiler: Mining with Mrs. Urist (click to show/hide)

Mining with Mrs. Urist.
I got a pick on mah shoulder,
So drunk I can't hold er'
I've got some stout in my beard,
And a mug fulla beer!
But this dwarf went to work, with a gal shaped like granite,
He got so smashed it felt like he'd been hit by a mallet!
And he stuck his pick through an old stone wall,
but behind all that stone was a big waterfall
Which washed his gal away
It coulda ruined his day
But a dwarf is a dwarf,
Only a coward would jump off a wharf!
But lady Urist gave a shriek in the tunnels of night,
She had suffered a terrible fright!
the tentacle demon grabbed her leg,
She whacked it with a keg!

Spoiler: Nobody Messes with Mrs. Urist (click to show/hide)

Nobody Messes With Mrs. Urist
She's armed with sword and child!
Shes married to a muralist.
she'll slit your throat and slice your beard...
A more terrible fate could not be had!
I cried "Boohoohoo" as my chin was sheared.
All the attention drove me mad
As I fell down the stairs
which were made out of trees that grow pears!
Urist had felled them with a wave of 'er beard
man I tell ya it was weird!
'Twas exactly as she feared,
the entire bloody forest cleared
as magma sweep across
The smoldering moss
It sent up a cloud of the blackest smoke;
Nobody mess with Mrs Urist.

Spoiler: Mrs. Urist's Spider Silk Dress (click to show/hide)

Mrs. Urist's Spider Silk Dress.
Mrs. Urist Has a dress that's made of spider silk.
The fabric is quite as white and bright as milk;
But the way she'd obtained it had made some cross,
Because it came from the goblins
Who loved to burn and plunder
But always manage to blunder...
Mrs. Urist threw her pick and struck one like thunder!
She was jealous of it's dress!
So turned him into a bloody mess
Turning it's pure white into a violet night.
Her soiled dress made her berserk,
She refused to work
Donning it with a quick jerk she smirked,
She had to find a goblin to be dirked.
Her pure innocence blemished with specs of red,
So don't mess with her dress, or you'll wind up dead!

Spoiler: Beak Dogs! (click to show/hide)

Beak Dogs!
Beak dogs are terrifying creatures;
With their beastly reptilian features
and scary hairy limbs
Although they had no thumbs,
The dogs could rip and tear with ease.
Their mouths were riddled with disease,
'Twas often said that they had fleas,
In their mouths
Who bit and jumped when they eat grouse.
Or elf, or man, or some dwarf lout
That decided to wander close
Rising high, a goblin struck a mighty pose.
Knowing that her Beak Dogs were at her side.
She pondered elf-, or dwarf-, or even regi-cide
She thought some more before she chose
To release the hounds upon her foes.

Spoiler: The Cheesemakers Lament (click to show/hide)

The Cheesemaker's Lament
Cross hill and moor, the Cheesemaker came
To pasteurize something profoundly profane
And though the other dwarves thought her efforts were vain,
The cheesemaker didn't care.
In search of Purring Maggots, she came to a cave
whose depths she attempted to brave,
she spotted a mole on which, she broke her stave
Then caught a fat maggot there
That is very heavy
Wrestling the disgusting thing, was so very brave.
This line doesn't rhyme with the rest
Because the beetle screamed out as it was groped in the chest.
The cheesemaker tried her very best.
But the many legged beast wouldn't rest!
It crept up from behind and took off the cheesemakers head.

Spoiler: Sacrifice to Armok (click to show/hide)

Sacrifice to Armok
On a blood soaked battle plain,
Dwarfs waged a holy campaign,
To rid the world of violence and pain!
The sky was lit with flame!
Out of the depths arose a beast,
Desiring a dwarf-flesh feast
Made of shell and skin and ten lungs at least
With pain-laced wails that never ceased
Among the few left alive,
The beast started to jive,
It spoke to skulls and stomped on bones
And ate its way through the mountain homes
So may it be heard in the caverns so deep
Dwarfs who desire things they should not seek,
are made to fear and dread,
What lies beneath the dead.

Spoiler: Chopping Wine! (click to show/hide)

Chopping Wine!
So urist grabbed some dwarven Wine
And chugged it all night long
He found it liquid to be simply fine
Although the taste was a little strong.
Those who complain have no spine.
In the morning they'll hear a gong!
At roughly half past nine.
If they drink it from the bong
Everyone will call them swine!
For it makes beards silky and long
The aroma, once it's minced, is so fine.
Everyone is jealous of the Chef's hatchet and tong!
For all good dwarves shall sit and dine.
Upon a dish of well-minced wine!
That the chef minced with his dong.
That dwarf was known for wearing a thong.

Spoiler: Gold, Gold, Gold, Gold, Gold, Gold (click to show/hide)

Gold, Gold, Gold, Gold, Gold, Gold
Striking with their picks, the miners found gold!
Unfortunately, covered with deadly mold.
This was a mold that was very old.
Old mold that suffered the nightly cold
And so the gold the dwarves promptly sold
Because they didn't feel quite that bold
They piled the gold upon the cart that they rolled.
But the gold the cart was unable to hold
And very quickly did it fold.
And so the carpenter the dwarves did scold
The process had been rigamarole'd!
So the carpenter flew into a rage, and many dwarves were overbowled.
Justice stated many hammerings were to be doled
Justice is not a thing to be controlled.
But the hammerings and death had been foretold
Thus ended the tale of the gold.

Spoiler: The Cats of Urist (click to show/hide)

The Cats of Urist
There once was a cat.
Incredibly virile.
It killed all the rats,
The refuse dump to fill.
As full as could be.
It waltzed into the still.
The brew was made unfit for even the bourgeoisie.
Although this may seem a great inconvenience,
Nobody cares for the Nobility!
The duke had a cat leather preference.
and no brain to wash
Urist rallied a feline defense.
There were nobles he wanted to quash.
Many dwarves gathered in suspense
And Excitment
Urist's cats are the fortress guard forever hence.

Spoiler: Down in the Mines (click to show/hide)

Down in the Mines
Down in the mines past forgotten one's lair
Where the walls grow hot, and beer boils,
and one must not carve a down stair,
many grotesque figures lie in wait.
In dark places, twin specs glare,
down in the mines past many dead soils
And as for picks, bring a spare
As ore deposits are great. 
Many fear what they find there
even the miners who ever toil.
of monsters that guard the metal most fair
And lead you to a doomed fate.
Deep Earth can make you a millionaire,
But beware of rocks that boil
deep in the mines past forgotten one's lair
Our never-ending mining at a constant gait.

Now take it away, Dwarven drinking song "Mining with Ms. Urist"[/list]

[Chaoseed]

Eheheheh.

Uhhh...one "verse" per post, or one line (like they do on Whose Line)?

[Qloos]

Uhhh...one "verse" per post, or one line (like they do on Whose Line)?

You're very mistaken if you think I'm strict.  I'll start.

"I got a pick on mah shoulder,"

[Schilcote]

So drunk I can't hold er'

[Jualin]

"I've got some stout in my beard,"

[Retro]

And a mug fulla beer!

[Qloos]

5:"But this dwarf went to work, with a gal shaped like granite,"

[Heron TSG]

"He got so smashed it felt like he'd been hit by a mallet!"

[Cirius]

And he stuck his pick through an old stone wall,

[Flaede]

but behind all that stone was a big waterfall

[darkrider2]

9: Which washed his gal away

[Jordrake]

10:It coulda ruined his day
11:But he pulled his flagon out
12:And drank some more o' the stout

[Retro]

(Jordrake, it's one line at a time I'll go from 10 on)

11 But a dwarf is a dwarf,

[Heron TSG]

12 Only a coward would jump off a wharf!

[Jordrake]

Uhhh...one "verse" per post, or one line (like they do on Whose Line)?

You're very mistaken if you think I'm strict.  I'll start.

*Ahem*