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[Knick]

It was the pick, and the axe,
the hammer and our fists!
It was the muscle and the might,
and the beard of old McUrist!

Worthy of Kipling.

[Iituem]

My Old Ore Cart

Verse 1

Oh, for my old ore cart,
I wheeled it ev'ry day,
It rolled its gold into my heart
And took my breath away,

Now once in my old mineshaft,
I laboured every day,
I'd break the rocks up with my pick
And mine my life away,

One day I got some limonite,
Which to my boss I gave,
He gave to me a kitten
and a mug of ale as wage!

(spoken)And in all my hard work, what did I dig up?
Limonite!
(spoken)And what did my efforts earn me?
A kitten and a mug of ale!


Verse Two

Oh, for my old ore cart,
I wheeled it ev'ry day,
It rolled its gold into my heart
And took my breath away,

Now once in my old mineshaft,
I laboured every day,
I'd break the rocks up with my pick
And mine my life away,

One day I got some haematite,
Which to my boss I gave,
He gave to me a golden ring,
two mugs of ale as wage!

(spoken) And in all my hard work, what did I dig up?
Limonite, haematite!
(spoken) And what did my efforts earn me?
A kitten, a ring and three mugs of ale!


Verse Three

Oh, for my old ore cart,
I wheeled it ev'ry day,
It rolled its gold into my heart
And took my breath away,

Now once in my old mineshaft,
I laboured every day,
I'd break the rocks up with my pick
And mine my life away,

One day I got some magnetite,
Which to my boss I gave,
He gave to me a gilded knife,
three mugs of ale as wage!

(spoken) And in all my hard work, what did I dig up?
Limonite, haematite, magnetite!
(spoken) And what did my efforts earn me?
A kitten, a ring, a gilded knife and six hearty mugs of ale!


...


Verse Fourteen

Oh, for my old ore cart,
I wheeled it ev'ry day,
It rolled its gold into my heart
And took my breath away,

Now once in my old mineshaft,
I laboured every day,
I'd break the rocks up with my pick
And mine my life away,

One day I got some kimberlite,
Which to my boss I gave,
He gave to me a gold beard comb,
fourteen mugs of ale as wage!

(spoken) And in all my hard work, what did I dig up?
Limonite, haematite, magnetite, malachite, rhyolite, cryolite, chromite, quartzite, phyllite, bauxite, cobaltite, calcite, lignite, kimberlite!
(spoken) And what did my efforts earn me?
A kitten, a ring, a gilded knife, ruby slippers, a crown of steel, a golden egg, a fabled cheese, a gilt-edged bond, a sacred idol, a magma lake, an elephant to ride, an elven skull, an inscrutable eye, a gold beard comb and eight thousand, one hundred and ninety three hearty mugs of ale!



The song continues for as many verses as the audience can stay sufficiently sober for, and ends when the protagonist discovers 'Borax', with which no other minerals rhyme, at which point everyone else shouts out "Borax?!" and the song ends with an accordian finish.

[breadbocks]

My theme: Songs of songs with which to drink
The Drunkard Song Song(To the tune of  Campfire song song)
Come gather 'round the barstool
And sing are Drunkard Song
Our D-R-U-N-K-A-R-D-S-O-N-G song.
And if you don't think we can drink faster
than you are wrong
But it'll help if
you just drink
along

"Bum" *Thud* *Crash*

Spoiler: Chorus (click to show/hide)

(Faster Tempo)
D-R-U-N-K-A-R-D-S-O-N-G song
D-R-U-N-K-A-R-D-S-O-N-G song
And if you don't think we can drink faster
than you are wrong
But it'll help if
you just drink
along

D-R-U-N-K-A-R-D-S-O-N-G song
Urist!
(Urist begins singing slower)
Whah? D-R-U-N-K-A-R-D....
(Original singer starts again)
Shut up!
(After an instrumental)
Thanks!

Repeat chorus until all are too drunk to continue.

I wasn't sure how to do this. My guess was make a theme, and a song for it.