I am a human demigod of the confederation of crystals, a small beleaguered human civilization tucked directly in the middle of the continent. While our people have no great armies or epic cities, we have an important place in the history of this world, having created the only three artifacts in history associated with a human civilization. The first religious order, the faith of lobsters, had an artisan tradition- when the grand apex of the order perished, their successor consecrated the death with the creation of artifact clothing, a jute skirt, a rope reed hood and a silver earring. This tradition was cut short in the year 79, when the elves of the woods of dying waged a savage war- launching 41 attacks, culminating in the siege of our capital dreamdistance, the ruining of the temple and the theft of our religious treasures. Since then the temple has been an empty husk, the line of leaders broken and no worshippers.
I set out for retribution, to restore these artifacts to Dreamdistance. I quested for a while, making my name as a slayer of foul night creatures and a protector of the innocent. My name established, I set out to find the descendants of the last apex, and recruited them and a gang of other soldiers to lay siege to Rainwomen, the capital of the woods of dying and home to the elven queen Thone, holder of the artifacts. My monster hunter career left me with one working arm, but even so I could still climb, and I systematically laid waste- leaving my companions at the bottom of each tree I climbed up, stunned the pitiful elves with my warhammer and tossed them from the trees for my companions to brutalize. I cornered Thone at the top of the tallest tree, subdued her, poked out her eyes and ripped out her tongue. I crushed her head into an unrecognizable pulp and retrieved the legacy of my people, restoring the artifacts to the temple of my god.