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[Max™]

cutestbolds

[Uzu Bash]

I saw my old fort come under attack by elves. I never got any elves when I was running it! It wasn't even the elves I wanted to war on, and all they've done so far is slaughter pets and livestock -- why do they have a grudge against the ducks and bunnies and cats? So I entered as a bastard peasant, and the first suggestion that I escape and rescue whoever I can. Escape the elves? Hell no, but I had to get away from the lag.

I trudged through as much as I could take of it to gear up: masterwork silver hammer and adamantine pick, some steel and leather, and the only adamantine armor that hasn't been picked up by the soldiers was a set of greaves. Wineskin of dwarven rum and a huge stack of masterwork cave sparrow egg roasts -- not going to find a decent meal in the rest of the world.

On the way out of the valley I passed a bunch of giant brown recluse spider webs. I didn't get any of those when I ran this fort! Dammit, they were only 1 tile south of my embark area, and they never once visited! I didn't see the elves on the way out, but between the fort and the nearest hamlet were 3 rampaging vampires who also never came to my fort, and a number of other asterisks I can only guess at the nature of. I'm starting to feel a little cheated -- I retired the fort because it was getting too easy, and it's been less than a year since.

[SirAero8]

Thanks Uzu Bash and Max for the help, I know more about demons, dark fortresses and dfhack now. I left the dark fortress and started wandering until I got ambushed by a human spearman by some dark pits. I killed him pretty easily and I was about to leave when some things started coming up on my blood radar. A goblin swordsman ran into my line of sight and he had a broken leg. I was confused at first, but then some more goblins showed up, and things got more confusing. A goblin maceman charged the swordsman and beat him to death in front of me, then walked away with his posse of 10 other armed goblins and a human axeman. Enraged by this goblin betrayal, I charged and killed him and 2 others, including the axeman, while they were killing some other goblins. I saw a few more things on the blood radar, decided to look and see what it was. To the northeast of me and the goblin posse, there is a human boss, a goblin bowman, and 57 (give or take) other things out of my sight, and a few goblin corpses. Am I screwed?
Quick edit: A giant dingo just jumped into the middle of this goblin army. Fun will ensue.
Edit: Killed all the goblins with minor injuries due to the goblins waiting for me to fight them instead of coming to fight me as a group. There were 82 in total. I left a thief because he just seemed to be chilling there.

[Max™]

The thieves are generally babysnatchers, kill em, I made that mistake before.

[Amperzand]

Not so much something I just did as a question, but how do you guys fight? Do you try to disable and maim until they die of bloodloss, or do you go for the head and neck, and a quick kill? Something else entirely. I tend to sneak up behind guys, grab them by the throat, and strangle/starter knife shank them until they die.

[Max™]

Hack em in the head or guts with an axe (or great axe on super twinked chars) and hit em in the head or guts with a war hammer (or maul on super twinked chars) and laugh as they fly through the air dead, occasionally talking while their head sails off in an arc.

Or put a shield+weapon in my right hand and use the left for grabbing incoming weapons/removing the limb holding it, or just dragonfalling them to keep the weapon and throw it at someone else.

[SaD-82]

It's different every time.

If I have a strong char (or got tasty vampire blood) and I'm in the mood for visiting a lonely hamlet in the purpose of giving friendly spanks right and left while walking through a crowd of townsfolk then I usually aim for the head by using a scimitar. Meeting 20+ people in a shack is always a nice time. Afterwards the bodies are to be composted outside and I'm decorating the inside of the building with all of the heads which can be found lying lonely on the ground.
Better than raising a flag to claim this building mine for the daytime to come.

If I am ambushed I will most likely play hide and seek.
Open some arteries of your new friend and then sprint away and hide between trees. Bonus points for making blood patterns on the ground - getting a pentagram was a great accomplishment. Therefore I spared the life of my little art-buddy. Unfortunately he bled to death.

But most of the time I improvise by using Ctrl+A and looking for the best chance and working on right after the first attack.
This can backfire though.
One time I met a female night creature - a winged beast consisting of big muscles which was labeled as a wrestler and only had a simple name - wielding a bronze knife to stab it in the head of one of my chars during the first strike. "Okay", I thought to myself, "nice attack - and look, you got a full name. You will be hunted by my next char. Named beasts for the win/reputation."
My next char approached the site in which the beast was lurking and I thought me a smart guy by using Ctrl-A and stabbing in quick succession both hands of "lucky stab-stab". She lost her knife. I smiled. The smiling suddenly stopped. Did I already mentioned that this beast was labeled "wrestler"? Turned out that "lucky stab-stab" was in fact "lucky punch-kick-punch". One quick blow and my right upper arm exploded into a bloody mess.
Passed out.
Never woke up again.
It seemed I made this beast deadlier by removing her weapon and forcing her to use her profession.
Twenty tries (and 20 chars dead due to being smashed to pulp) later it slowly gets personal.
The longest stand-off against my new nemesis consisted of four laughable skinbruising sword strikes.
Usually it sails down from above like an angel of death, interrupting my attacks by grabbing my arms and using one little kick to the head which paints all around us in lovely red, including this nightmarish form of a female version of Bret Hart. Female? Lady in red, anyone?

[Uzu Bash]

I've never been mugged before. I stopped on the trail of an amphibian man vampire, and there were 6 elves with weapons around. I assumed they were after it, too. But after I ran in circles without finding a trace, and still felt too unsafe to travel, I realized they were ordering me to yield. Okay. And drop my weapon. And drop my shield, and drop my quiver containing all my other weapons.

The elf bragged to his friend that he just robbed me. I made it a point to kill them all with their own weapons. I've never made 6 kills that quickly since generating this world; it's always been marathon battles with vampires.

[Eric Blank]

I've never been mugged before. I stopped on the trail of an amphibian man vampire, and there were 6 elves with weapons around. I assumed they were after it, too. But after I ran in circles without finding a trace, and still felt too unsafe to travel, I realized they were ordering me to yield. Okay. And drop my weapon. And drop my shield, and drop my quiver containing all my other weapons.

The elf bragged to his friend that he just robbed me. I made it a point to kill them all with their own weapons. I've never made 6 kills that quickly since generating this world; it's always been marathon battles with vampires.

You know what the best part is? Since you killed all the other witnesses, nobody will know you got robbed unless you tell them!

[Noblaum]

Day one of my wrestler character with most of his points in wrestling, striking, kicking, and biting, and he managed to somehow psychically uncover a vampire in a nearby hamlet posing as lady consort. I accidentally said something to the random dwarf stoneworker sitting around the hut, and I started ranting incoherently about how a hero should go kill her, during which it was revealed, presumably psychically again, that she'd killed 171(!) people and only had to move out of suspicion three times. I decided that the best way to start off the Zach Meatfist quintology was to choke out a politician in front of a bunch of confused onlookers. And her husband. So, confronting her after putting her in a chokehold, Meatfist learned the hard way that vampires don't actually need to breathe as she started shanking me repeatedly with a bronze knife. I took a mortal wound and passed out. By the time he woke up she had vanished. I used tracking skill which I didn't actually have to identify some broken twigs leading south, though. After stumbling through the wilderness (somehow still alive with "mortal wound" flashing repeatedly) I caught up with her, caught her knife, and broke her wrist. She bled out after getting her throat slit and Meatfist drank a bit cos that lung wound was hurting and screw breathing anyway.
Simultaneously my most badass character and least competent. I retired him, and my new goal is hunting him without taking a mortal wound this time. Shouldn't be too hard since he's only adventured for a day.

Completely unrelated, I had a pretty decent character going. Then I was attacked by some random vampire who just walked right past with no incident. She was very polite, too. Gave explicit directions to the goblin cave I was going after. Then I was accosted by a swordsman. Asking him what his deal was, the swordsman just said that he was on a mission to attack me with a sword (honest, at least). I disarmed him, poked his eye out, and cut his ear off. Then he punched me in the face and my head exploded. As in, the announcement said he punched me, and then it said my head reached the triple-point and took on the consistency of liquid. Died in one hit.
Why the hell was he using a sword, then?

[Max™]

First time I got robbed I learned you can remove all of the limbs and facial features from someone... the only thing I owned was a spear, as a female human outsider this was a rather important item to me, since my other hand had been used for carrying a hunk of meat until I found more stuff, waking up with them standing on top of me demanding I drop the spear was a bit of a rude awakening... having to roll naked through the campfires I placed around myself made me angrier, then I grabbed a new spear off one of them, got my spear back, left the first one impaled in another muggers guts, and tracked down the leader who originally started the robbing and kicking and such. She ended up suffocating as I learned just how much you can do to an npc before they will finally keel over and die.

[Eric Blank]

Why the hell was he using a sword, then?

He was trying to be merciful, but you just had to escalate the fight to no-quarter instead of surrender, of course.

In reality, skulls are just incredibly wimpy at times, and limbs can exert just a wee bit more force than is believable on occasion.

[Max™]

Weirdly what I find the most absurd part of wrestling, though I love the mental image it gives me, is pinching ears and having them fly off in an arc.

Why does this amuse me? Dorfs have tin-snips for hands for some reason.

[SaD-82]

In reality, skulls are just incredibly wimpy at times, and limbs can exert just a wee bit more force than is believable on occasion.

Oh, yes, incredibly wimpy.
Had a vampire char once who slaughtered masses of humanoids and critters. Killed some megabeasts and even refused to die as I wanted him to be killed by bogeymen (actually I was getting bored that nothing could harm him - I even applauded when a person could land a lucky hit against my char...resulting in light and medium bruises).
So I went in the direction of the nearest ocean in the faint hope to be killed by wild sealife (and I wanted some sperm whales in my kill list at least) as I stumbled into a vault. I suddenly changed my plan and went in there - either finding a glorious (un-)death by the hands of the dangerous wardens or some nice loot.
I opened the door and saw nothing but grey floor sprinkled with some brown spots. Went further on as I suddenly saw missed strikes appearing. Looked carefully around and it became apparent that these brown spots were muck assistances. Never seen something like that before. Unfortunately they died too quickly.
Then met some muck soldiers with frosted weapons.
They died even quicker.
I got bored again as it seemed that nothing would let me die in a glorious battle.
Went some floors deeper, pulled some levers and my kill list was rising with muck. I was covered in muck. Muck wherever you looked. Maybe this was the reason that I couldn't see another brown dot moving in my direction.
Surprise struck me when I finally saw some red text across the screen indicating that something hit me and and teared my muscles of my upper body.
I was bleeding...
The first time since some hours.
In a hurry I looked what it was: a judgement of muck. Well, somehow, this appeared appropriate, although the description was anticlimactic:
A flat worm with skinned wings.
Well, if a worm posed the biggest threat in the world who was I to judge...?
I aimed for a swift strike against one of his wings to ground it.
Miss...
It grabbed my left arm with his right wing.
"Okay, flying fishbait, you want to dance..."
I aimed for his right wing in a multiple attack and chose to dodge away afterwards. My high strength and agility should pose no problems.
Miss...
It threw me around.
I slid across the floor.
And my head turned into bloody gore.
Never in my DF-time was I shocked more and filled with pleasure to read:
You're deceased.

[Uzu Bash]

I was also playing an outsider, and by the time I got held up I had already gotten experience from 4 vampires and 6 criminals, and looted a warehouse and some homes for full leather, quiver and other extra weapons. By the time I dropped the quiver on the ground, I guessed what was going on and knew what I was going to do if it turned out to be true. This was in the middle of a town they were harassing, so there were witnesses to not only the killing, but the devouring -- I butchered them with their own weapons too, and ate a few of their hearts and brains while collecting them all.