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[Max™]

...
Me: Can you tell me where I can find Kan Badsaviors?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Lady: I dunno, must be right around here somewhere.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

MUST BE RIGHT AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE.

"Hey Kan, this guy is asking about you."
*nonchalantly stares at the wall, somewhere around here*

[Adragis]

I met a blood man on the surface, killing civilians.
I killed him and the town sent a hit squad after me, in iron armour and everything. Turns out they were very fond of that blood man. He was part of the town guard.

[ZM5]

Oof, hadn't posted here for a while, so I got a few weird moments from various adventures I had in the meantime that I wanted to share.
As one adventurer, I played as a titan supremacist (a race I made, basically greek god-esque beings that are normally quite peaceful but can use magic in self-defense) by name of Flamefist Ghoulfate and went on slaying entire towns of a human civilization nearby. I literally managed to kill EVERY member of that civ, though I was unable to take over the last remaining town for some reason. In one of the towns I decided to have a talk with the lady, resulting in this odd conversation

"Yeah, sure, you slaughtered my people but EH I guess I'll let you become a hearthperson". She died soon after in "mysterious circumstances".
In another town I talked to another lady

I started to think my adventurer might be slightly unhinged. Flamefist died, incinerated, as she was slaughtering merchants, due to several of them being titans like her.
On another adventurer whose name I can't remember, I uhhh...

Yeah. It came out of one of my custom megabeasts. Obviously the adventurer didn't live long afterwards.
After that I genned a new world and made a naga outsider in a elf forest retreat. For some reason there was a pack of coyote people around, so I tried a non-violent approach, resulting in what I can only call the DF version of a Seinfeldian conversation:

Died.
Lastly, on a slightly less humorous note, I was rescuing children from a goblin fortress. During my exit, I saw a titan general whom I started attacking. What I didn't notice was what was popping up in my log.

Genuinely felt bad after that.

[Blastbeard]

I went dark fortress raiding again, and it was going doing alright. I barge into the dungeon with an unarmed dwarven conscript on my tail. There's a dwarf kid in the first cell, and... well....

Dwarven Child: Sibling!
Recruit: Death...  This is truly horrifying.
The Troll stands up.
Recruit: I must withdraw!
Dwarven Child embraces Recruit.

So I release a prisoner, he sees a family member among the enemy troops, and leaves the party to live with the family member who imprisoned him. Mission accomplished?

[Tawa]

I wish I could raid Dark Forts. I get FPSdeathed whenever I try :V

[Adragis]

I wish I could raid Dark Forts. I get FPSdeathed whenever I try :V

Wait 'till night, and they all go to sleep and you can slaughter them easily, with good FPS too!

[Blastbeard]

Wait 'till night, and they all go to sleep and you can slaughter them easily, with good FPS too!

Goblins don't sleep unless you modify the creature entry, which means you can't either when in or around their territory because one of the little bastards will saunter up and shank you in your sleep.

And now... [rant]

The biggest source of lag I get from goblin sites is the fact that EVERYONE JUST IDLES ON TOP OF A TOWER.
For those of you who haven't seen this for yourself, Imagine a hovel full of human peasants in a high-population hamlet. One of those 5x7 ones with over fifteen humans idling in it. Now, take the same situation, set it in a ~12x12 open space atop a goblin tower, surrounded by fortifications, and replace 15+ humans with 50+ goblins. Then place another tower with the same number of goblins on top of it about 100 tiles away in all four cardinal directions, and you have the gist of the dark pits.

It's a pain in the ass because aside from the lag, you can't sneak anywhere because the goblins are looking all over the place, at all times due to the fact they don't sleep. If they do see you, they all start freaking out because they're civilians, filling your screen with "I must withdraw!" over and over. Goblin hunters will actually take potshots at you, but even if you can return fire, you can't tell where they are among a crowd of goblins in one of four surrounding towers. And unless you can fly, you can't even go up there to remedy the situation due to the fact that the roof of each tower has a hatch on it, which is either blocked by goblins or is forbidden for both you and them. It's like a bad parody of the ending of The Hangover.

The worst part of it all is that underneath each of these towers are a series of tunnels branching off into hundreds of living quarters, enough for probably every goblin residing in the tower above, yet never used because those goblins either refuse to come down and use them or actually can not because the exit hatch is off limits.

You might argue that many goblins moving freely would cause even more lag, but even if it did it would at least make the mandatory slog through goblin sites more enjoyable. It would encourage exploration of the tunnels below-ground, which are are currently overlooked in favor of just getting through the lag field. Did you know that in goblin burial pits you can find masterwork bone crafts? if you didn't that's not surprising, BECAUSE THERE'S NO REASON TO GO DOWN THERE RIGHT NOW. As it is, it's just faster to enter a dfhack command to kill all goblins in the area and move on to the dark fortress. That's kind of a waste, I hate it, and I really hope Toady manages to fix it in short order.

[/rant]

[Adragis]

But I went into a fortress to find them all asleep!
plz explan

[Blastbeard]

But I went into a fortress to find them all asleep!
plz explan

I actually can't find [NO_SLEEP] in their raws, but I've never caught a goblin sleeping during play. Especially not at night, since they have [NOCTURNAL]. Day or night, any time I pass through dark pits they're wide awake. Incidentally, I've never had to sleep while playing as a goblin adventurer, either. Either [NOCTURNAL] is doing more than advertised or it's something I'm just not seeing.

[Adragis]

I don't know.
Although the trolls were asleep too, except for one solitary troll doing the same as I was (bashing the gobbos' heads in).
We passed each other amicably.

[Tawa]

Well, I tried going in there.

But I didn't find any of the kids, even though I bashed in like thirty locked doors with a silver hammer.

[Blastbeard]

>Implying bashing down a door and screaming "HEEEERE'S JOHNNY!" instead of pulling the lever isn't half the fun in raiding dark fortresses
... Said nobody ever.

If everyone says the person you're looking for is supposed to be in that site, they have to be there if it's still possible to rescue them. The person I was looking for in my first raid was in the very last cell in the dungeon, very far down.
However, If word gets around you've been killing people, even if they attacked you first in no quarter combat, the kid may just spit at you and start swinging the minute you introduce yourself. I don't know if there's a away around it, and in those cases, I just lock them back up.

[Max™]

I had a case where I grabbed a kid by the throat and demanded they yield, but due to lag I was still moving into them so I ended up strangling them... so I just grabbed them and went about my business freeing kids while carrying a dead one by the neck in my other hand.

[klefenz]

Made a fort, it became  the mountainhome, housing the king. Retired it.
On this fort I started an adventurer, a peasant. Grabbd some armor and went north.

I took over a mead hall in a hamlet full of gobilns, killed a few as part of my training and recruited one as bogeyman counter.
Then I set off for the tower at the west. Killed the necromancers, dodged the zombies, got inside and stole a book containing the secrets pf life and death.
Became a necromancer and went back to my home fortress to retire.

Unretire the fortress, but this adventurer is nowhere to be found, also the king is gone.

[Max™]

It can be hard to get people to stick around, Duke Urist McLegendary took his artifact gear and rampaged through the world, returned a vampire with a demon slab in tow, but no longer the Duke, just Champion... and for some reason idled in the bedrooms on top of a coffin. The demon apparently went back home and began raising an army from the leftovers after I hacked my way in to the tower, and as I recall was supposedly marching our way but that was far too distant to worry about since I wasn't even sure how to get rid of all the magma...