It's sad to say, but a child who's spent time in a cell makes for a harder companion than any of these 'well-traveled', wanna-be murder hobos I've been using up until now.
I don't know exactly what the goblins are doing to the kids they lock up under their dark fortresses, but whatever it is rivals Dwarven Daycare in terms of effectiveness.
There's three things that makes these unarmed, unarmored children superior to every companion and enemy alike I have ever faced.
First, all of them had demigod level attributes in all the right places. Any one of them would have made a good candidate for a bodyswap.
Second, these are child-sized targets we're dealing with here, and appropriately hard to hit, moreso when demigod-level attributes come into play.
Third, and most importantly, these kids are absolutely fearless. When confronted by a lion while I stand back, a normal companion will run away on me. One of these kids will punch the lion in the face and then beat it to death with their bare hands.
In another encounter with a different child, a wild criminal crossbowman appeared and demanded submission. The child responded with "NO U", headbutted the ganger in the head, demanded submission from the ganger along with his crossbow,
recieved both instantly, and then
beat the crossbowman to death with his own weapon. If there was a way to formally adopt that kid as my adventurer's child I would have done it on the spot.
So there you have it; the stats of a demigod, the small target that is a child's frame, and the psychotic fury of a an entire village of provoked 0.34 npcs rolled into one adorable package. And while I could keep them, arm them, and create an unstoppable force, there is just one thing:
militia commander embraces Dwarven Child.
That message, and all its variations, is joy to me. Especially this one:
Nadmi Kalsibujit, Human Child: Mother!
Human Child embraces idiot.
Yes mom, you are an idiot. And after clawing into the heart of a large site I can't travel through, murdering my way to the cells beneath a demon's throne room, dragging a superpowered child back through the site, and then facing the greatest enemy of all, rivers, all for that one message, fills me with a satisfaction I just don't get out of much anything else these days.
Besides, there's no challenge, no fun in having something that powerful as support. Better to go it alone and have all the glory for yourself. And what's more, the more of those superkids I return to fort-mode playable civilizations, the more likely I'll have a few migrate to a fort.
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Topic: What's going on in your adventure? (Read 2132162 times)