I went and investigated a goblin fortress for the first time. It was several days' travel around the side of a mountain range from my human civ and the paradisical seaside town, "Beltnight", that I claimed ownership of 5 ingame years ago when I avenged the murder of the town lord by a molemarian. I stopped along the way to pay my respects to the former lord's widowed wife and child. They seemed uninterested.
Once I arrived at the Dark Fortress, my 2 companions who had been troupers so far ran off immediately and got themselves killed. I slaughtered a whole bunch of gobbos and trolls in the main tower and 2 of the small towers, killed the goblin lady in the main tower (The site must not be the capital of the goblin civ, I didn't check, just went to the closest one) and took her crown made of teeth.
Unfortunately there was no way I would survive the 3 days hike alone back through the swamps to my home as a mortal, so once I escaped from the tower I drank the vampire blood I'd been saving in a waterskin since one of my first fights.
It was a good trip after all, I'd boosted my notable-kill count from 100 to 260, taken a lot of silk socks (my preferred currency), and become an immortal night creature. Once I got back to Beltnights, I was thirsty as hell so I preyed on a lonely farmer - only to discover that you can't control how much blood you drink from a victim. If you're really thirsty, you will drink your fill all in one go. So I stuffed his corpse into my backpack and took a hike around the outside of town to dump his body in the ocean.
This vampire business was a sobering experience. I decided that I didn't want the responsibilities of ruling a town so I would find someone else perfect for the job: A human clerk who I'd met in a mostly abandoned town, Focuscudgels, where I'd killed the dominant criminal a while ago. A lanky woman in her thirties who had already raised 2 children to adulthood, she was desperate for some excitement in her life, so I'd invited her along for a day trip to another nearby town, Planebraids, where I had some business to attend to.
Along that journey, she had proved her mettle many times over, often charging at alligators with a kitchen knife while the bowman I'd hired ran away in fear. We stayed in Planebraids for a few weeks, and tried training in the surrounding wetlands, but after too many close calls I decided to move on without her. I offered her a set of masterwork leather armor as a parting gift and headed west on the path that first led me to Beltnight.
Anyway, I had almost forgotten about her, but she must have heard some rumors of what I'd been up to. I found her in the same old tavern in Planebraids, and to my relief she was eager to get back on the road. Without even stopping to satisfy my bloodthirst, I turned back towards Beltnight with my friend by my side as well as a pikeman I'd hired to be her bodyguard. He turned out to be completely unnecessary - she was perfectly capable of defending herself, as she proved again by one-hit-killing a lion by stabbing it in the head.
We arrived in Beltnights at dusk, and I handed over my position as lord of the Coalition of Omens in front of all the members of my court (at least, the few who actually bother to visit the castle, since most my hearthpeople are hopeless drunks). Good luck Conu Toefarms, Human Administrator and Lady - I hope you'll be a better ruler than I was.