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[Jacob/Lee]

I tried to explore a necromancer tower, but it was full to the BRIM with zombies. Luckily for me, one of the necromancers wandered outside. I beheaded him easily and butchered his corpse to prevent its return. Unfortunately for me, the head itself was granted undeath, and it somehow emerged victorious in our grudge match after biting my leg to make me fall over, and then my sword arm, and then resisting any attempts to be shattered by shield-bashing.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[FallenAngel]

Fun fact: Playing as a goblin gives a special thing in the pop-up that first appears -
"A foolhardy soul might try to rescue the children you have kidnapped."
Never played as a goblin before, so this could have been in earlier versions, but it's still nice that it acknowledges the fact you're not a human, dwarf, or elf.

[Raul]

Fun fact: Playing as a goblin gives a special thing in the pop-up that first appears -
"A foolhardy soul might try to rescue the children you have kidnapped."
Never played as a goblin before, so this could have been in earlier versions, but it's still nice that it acknowledges the fact you're not a human, dwarf, or elf.

Actually, that happens if your civ had children kidnapped at some point in recent history. I've had it as dwarf and human.

His text says "might try to rescue the children you have kidnapped" though.

[smjjames]

I'm trying to get a barfight with multiple people brawling with each other, but I can't seem to get the combat level to be horseplay or brawl, and grabbing clothes or items always seems to escalate to lethal or no quarter.

[Steele]

I checked the legends of the latest world I failed miserably in, noticing that just before my last death a goblin army invaded the hamlet of Braverybushy, and the leader began killing the inhabitants in horrible ways. Drowning, hacking to pieces, burying alive, etc. I decided my next adventurer would locate and strike down this fiend in an epic duel, becoming loved by their victims in the process. Unfortunately, none of this was to be.

When I reached Braverybushy I found the goblin "army" of 16 men camped just outside.
They were all sleeping on top of one another in a tiny tent, including the overlord Gusno Infalliblecompassion the Even Faction who was responsible for those brutal killings described above.
I silently murdered all but the overlord, deciding to wake her up before I killed her. This was the result.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

You spit!
The flying Mechanismus Dimpledvolcanic's nietzschean spit strikes The overlord in the upper body!
You grab The overlord by the head from behind with your left hand!
You gouge The overlord's right eye with Your left hand and the part splits in gore!
You release the grip of Your left hand from The overlord's head.
You: Greetings.  My name is Mechanismus Dimpledvolcanic.
You grab The overlord by the right upper arm from behind with your left hand!
You release the grip of Your left hand from The overlord's right upper arm.
You utter an incantation!
The overlord is caught up in the web!
You: Whosoever would blight the world, preying on the helpless, fear me!  I call you a child of the night and will slay you where you stand.
You lie on the ground.
You stand up.
You pick up the live fly with your left hand.
You make a spiked fly chitin ball.
You make a fly chitin breastplate.
You make a fly chitin breastplate.
You have created a masterpiece *fly chitin breastplate*!
You make a *fly chitin breastplate*.
You breath fire!
You conjure a fireball!
You conjure a fireball!
You conjure a fireball!
You conjure a fireball!
You conjure a fireball!
You conjure a fireball!
You conjure a fireball!
You conjure a fireball!
You conjure a fireball!
You conjure a fireball!
You grab The overlord by the iron great axe from behind with your left hand!
You struggle for the iron great axe.
You gain possession of the iron great axe.
You have created a masterpiece *iron sock*!
You make a *iron sock*.
You have nothing left to wear.
You drop the iron great axe.
You pick up the iron great axe with your left hand.
You grab The overlord by the small troll fur loincloth from behind with your left hand!
You struggle for the small troll fur loincloth.
You gain possession of the small troll fur loincloth.
You grab The overlord by the small troll fur pants from behind with your left hand!
You struggle for the small troll fur pants.
You gain possession of the small troll fur pants.
You grab The overlord by the small cave spider silk tunic from behind with your left hand!
You struggle for the small cave spider silk tunic.
You gain possession of the small cave spider silk tunic.
You grab The overlord by the small troll fur robe from behind with your left hand!
You struggle for the small troll fur robe.
You gain possession of the small troll fur robe.
You grab The overlord by the small troll fur cloak from behind with your left hand!
You struggle for the small troll fur cloak.
You gain possession of the small troll fur cloak.
You grab The overlord by the small cave crocodile leather cap from behind with your left hand!
You struggle for the small cave crocodile leather cap.
You gain possession of the small cave crocodile leather cap.
You grab The overlord by the small cave spider silk left glove from behind with your left hand!
You struggle for the small cave spider silk left glove.
You gain possession of the small cave spider silk left glove.
You grab The overlord by the small black bear leather hood from behind with your left hand!
You struggle for the small black bear leather hood.
You gain possession of the small black bear leather hood.
You grab The overlord by the small cave spider silk right glove from behind with your left hand!
You struggle for the small cave spider silk right glove.
You gain possession of the small cave spider silk right glove.
You grab The overlord by the troll fur pouch from behind with your left hand!
You struggle for the troll fur pouch.
You gain possession of the troll fur pouch.
You grab The overlord by the small blind cave bear leather shoe from behind with your left hand!
You struggle for the small blind cave bear leather shoe.
You gain possession of the small blind cave bear leather shoe.
You grab The overlord by the small blind cave bear leather shoe from behind with your left hand!
You struggle for the small blind cave bear leather shoe.
You gain possession of the small blind cave bear leather shoe.
You grab The overlord by the small giant cave spider silk sock from behind with your left hand!
You struggle for the small giant cave spider silk sock.
You gain possession of the small giant cave spider silk sock.
You grab The overlord by the small giant cave spider silk sock from behind with your left hand!
You struggle for the small giant cave spider silk sock.
You gain possession of the small giant cave spider silk sock.
You kick The overlord in the lower body with your right foot, bruising the muscle and bruising the guts!
The overlord is propelled away by the force of the blow!
The overlord's left lower leg skids along the ground, bruising the muscle!
The overlord slams into an obstacle!
You kick The overlord in the lower body with your left foot, bruising the muscle and bruising the guts!
You grab The overlord by the second lower left molar from behind with your left hand!
You pinch The overlord's second lower left molar with Your left hand and the severed part sails off in an arc!
You grab The overlord by the left eye tooth from behind with your left hand!
You pinch The overlord's left eye tooth with Your left hand and the severed part sails off in an arc!
You kick The overlord in the anus from behind with your right foot and the injured part collapses into a lump of gore!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You breath fire!
You pick up the Uko Surunguslu's corpse with your left hand.
You drop Uko Surunguslu's corpse.
You take out the sole [5].
You drop the sole [5].
You pick up the sole with your left hand.
You make a sole bone greaves.
You pick up the sole with your left hand.
You have created a masterpiece *sole bone crown*!
You make a *sole bone crown*.
You pick up the sole with your left hand.
You have created a masterpiece *sole bone mace*!
You make a *sole bone mace*.
You bash The overlord in the right upper arm from behind with your *sole bone mace* and the injured part is crushed!
You grab The overlord by the throat from behind with your left lower arm!
You place a chokehold on The overlord's throat with Your left lower arm!
You strangle The overlord's throat!
You release the grip of Your left lower arm from The overlord's throat.
Night is falling.
Goblin Axeman has bled to death.

God DAMN that goblin could sleep.
I started getting bored, and had a bit of fun with flies and fishes and fire while waiting for her to wake the hell up.
The fire breathing and fireballs are what eventually killed her. The fire spread into the tent and set her on fire.
THAT wasn't even enough to wake her up.
So there went my dreams of an epic duel..

Well, at least Braverybushy will be grateful, right? I'll still be a hero!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

You: Greetings.  They call me Mechanismus Dimpledvolcanic.
Ocade Thawarelimi, Kankoran Farmer: Hello, nietzschean. I am Ocade Handledmartyred.  Night is falling.  You'd better stay indoors, or the bogeyman will get you.
You: Gusno Infalliblecompassion the Even Faction died.
The Kankoran Farmer spits!
The flying Ocade Handledmartyred's kankoran spit misses You!
Ocade Thawarelimi, Kankoran Farmer: That is terrible.
Ocade Thawarelimi, Kankoran Farmer: Mechanismus Dimpledvolcanic, slayer of Gusno Infalliblecompassion the Even Faction.  I'm a little angry.
The Kankoran Farmer spits!
The flying Ocade Handledmartyred's kankoran spit misses You!
Ocade Thawarelimi, Kankoran Farmer: Murderer!
You spit!
The flying Mechanismus Dimpledvolcanic's nietzschean spit strikes The Kankoran Farmer in the right hand!
Ocade Thawarelimi, Kankoran Farmer: Gusno Infalliblecompassion the Even Faction is dead.  I must let grief pass me by.

Mechanismus Dimpledvolcanic is disappoint.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

You: I'm in charge of Braverybushy now.  Make way for lord Mechanismus Dimpledvolcanic and The Stinks of Anuses!
Ocade Thawarelimi, Kankoran Farmer: I don't know anything about that.
You: Would you agree to become lord of The Stinks of Anuses, taking over my duties and responsibilities?
Ocade Thawarelimi, Kankoran Farmer: I accept this honor.
*** STARTING NEW GAME ***

[nomoetoe]

Things seem  bleak for humanity in my world. in just a few months the human population went from 1004 to 534. one village was also under constant attack from bandits, not only that they were also plagued by vampires and night beasts as well. I got tired of constantly having to protect them so I decided it was time for humanity do die.

I killed many of the villagers but I got cornered, after a fairly long fight a farmer got lucky and cut my right hand off, I was able to escape and survived. I then got some armor to keep the rest of my body intact and finished the rest of them off. I began a fight with one of the patroling guards and I had almost defeated them all, but then a bowman got a lucky shot and after a long time of being strangled I died. 170 kills c: woot! only 4 short of total hamlet depopulation sadly.

[Icefire2314]

Das Ashcircilba, Child: I have an uncle named Ganuh Utterislands. He is also my Cousin. In 69, Ganuh married Simin Shinclasp.

Literally my entire dwarf fortress experience in a nutshell

Also, that year... perfect year to marry... hehehehe

[lue]

Just a quick thing, pretty sure this one isn't stopping any time soon .

1: Merchant (to Peasant): Why are you traveling?
2: Peasant (to Merchant): I'm going out for some water.
1: Merchant (to Peasant): Why are you traveling?
2: Peasant (to Merchant): I'm going out for some water.
1: Merchant (to Peasant): Why are you traveling?
2: Peasant (to Merchant): I'm going out for some water.
1: Merchant (to Peasant): Why are you traveling?
2: Peasant (to Merchant): I'm going out for some water.

And so on.

[ff2]

I killed a vampire pikesdwarf who appeared next to a trogoldyte recruit who was apparently important whose name I recognise from a keep at a city and when I killed the vampire my character was frozen in place for days while the game automatically waited. I couldn't read announcements, move or even go to the main menu. It went on for days before I killed the process.

[DestroyX]

You gouge The overlord's right eye with Your left hand and the part splits in gore!
You release the grip of Your left hand from The overlord's head.
You: Greetings.  My name is Mechanismus Dimpledvolcanic.
.
.
.
You kick The overlord in the anus from behind with your right foot and the injured part collapses into a lump of gore!
.
.
.
You: Would you agree to become lord of The Stinks of Anuses, taking over my duties and responsibilities?

my god :'D

[Jacob/Lee]

Just found a dwarf called "Urist Soulblockade." Unfortunately, he's the local militia commander, meaning he won't join me. Sad. He must be a badass with that name. Former mercenary, too.

[MaskedMiner]

So on my quest to find goblins who killed my fortress in adventure mode, I end up in human town, enter the keep, search the dungeons and find one lone goblin chieftain. Figuring out that since npcs rarely attack first I ask him what is his deal and he severs my motor sensors. My companions kill the chieftain, but yeah, retiring this adventurer :p So lesson learned, never talk to glowing strangers with hostile titles

[Vorox]

You pick up the live fly with your left hand.
You make a spiked fly chitin ball.
You make a fly chitin breastplate.
You make a fly chitin breastplate.
You have created a masterpiece *fly chitin breastplate*!
You make a *fly chitin breastplate*.
You grab The overlord by the iron great axe from behind with your left hand!
You struggle for the iron great axe.
You gain possession of the iron great axe.
You have created a masterpiece *iron sock*!
You make a *iron sock*.

How did you do that? What mod are you using?

[Johuotar]

I went to kill bandits, met a guy in the camp and greeted him, before he answered me my friend shot him in the head and killed him instantly, saying "Finally he is dead, it is done".

I have a feeling I'm just a sidekick providing distraction while he is the real hero.

[Yoink]

My current adventurer is named Ted. Yeah, that's what the RNG gave me.
I think it's very fitting for a tall, chiselled-bodied, bloodthirsty axe-wielding demigod who devours the hearts of his enemies to have such a mundane-sounding name. At this point I've killed fourty-nine various beings as Ted, fourty-three of those notable, in the name of my Lord Dof Webblocks.

I've just stumbled upon a warrior sleeping in a tent. Anyone else encountered tents, yet? I think they're pretty cool, I wish we could use them.
I might see if he'll let me and my companions (who have maybe three-or-four kills between them at most) rest in his tent, and then perhaps ask just who he serves and if he'd like to join us on our murderous adventures. I've been wanting to fight a titan, but their shrines are very hard to find... all anyone can tell me is the name, and how many of their kin the titans have killed.


Edit: Oh shit, I had a brief nap and then waited around for the guy to wake up.
Once he did, I greeted him and asked why he was travelling, only to jump away from a sword strike as he declared, "I'm on an important mission." To kill Ted, apparently. Well, I can't say Ted doesn't deserve it, but he sure ain't going down without a fight.

He "deftly" parried my first blow; I was trying to hack off his toe to toy with him. This might just be the first proper fight Ted's had in a long damn time! Let's see if my companions actually step in to help, or if they're just going to run around shouting "There's fighting! That was alarming." until one of us is dead.

Double-edit: Or not. We fought briefly, with me aiming for non-lethal strikes as well as knocking him down with charges to prolong the fun and try to make my way out of the tent, but then I smashed in his ribcage with a pommel strike and he fainted. Not sure where my companions got to... I think I'll spare this guy, simply for having the guts to actually attack me.

EDIT: Aw shit, walked out of the tent to look around for my companions, and there's a friggin' Ogre of Shadow by the cliffs nearby.
The Coastal Eagle protect me, this should be one hell of a fight without my companions here to act as distractions.