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[The Merchant Of Menace]

Cue, jumping into water just as it freezes over.

[Kobold Troubadour]

Cue, jumping into water just as it freezes over.

DF and irony....walking hand in hands to screw you over. Again...and again.....and again....

[Cannabust]

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=51245.msg1741925#msg1741925

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Ajax doesn't take no for an answer, and he threatened to slash my throat if I leave, saying that even if I wanted to I can't, that's not how it works. He's a strange human, and I'm sure he'll end up being the death of me, but I digress. Ajax said he knew the location of a bandit named Egesh Worthin, two days away, and that he would take us to slaughter them! I was in no way prepared and as Ajax talked about the many ways they will be injured I start to retch, damn him and his adventures!

Before taking us to Egesh's hideout, we went to the Strappingeggs fortress and recruited three more members, including another maceman; who I didn't think was going to survive., this time I got all their names; Adi Pikacobi, Kad Golmonol, and Lod Inidinnah. Then we traveled to Trotcherished the bandit camp, a long and tedious walk. Ajax and us barely talked, and I quickly learned how much more powerful these men were compared to me. As we entered the camp Egesh yelled at his companions to get their “SHIT” together and kill these imbeciles. Ajax threw a slicing knife at one of the bandit axemen, bruising the mans heart. Then the axeman charged me and knocked me down, as he raised his weapon high to strike me down Ajax slashed his left side with his axe, lodging it firmly in the wound, a swordsman snuck up behind him but he had his right hand lobbed off from a cleaver Ajax picked up in the Moon Ogre's cave. Loge was quickly surrounded by Egesh and an axewoman and was promptly slaughtered by getting his intestines torn out. Ajax killed the swordsman and while the axeman was on top of me I managed to thrust my dagger into the brutes skull, killing him instantly. Then the axewoman ran off, for reasons I did not fully understand, but we swamped Egesh, and began to tear at him, me and Ajax dodging blows while Adi was being hit, injuring his foot. Ajax hacked Egesh's arm, severing many of his nerves, and I managed to stab my knife into his head! Ahab then hacked his cleaver into Egesh's head as well, and more blood splattered the floor and all of us. I stabbed the leaders right hand and Ajax lobbed that arm off while Adi smashed into the leader, his wound only lending more power to his blows it seemed. Finally Ajax slashed Egesh's head off, and it flew away. The body slumped over in front of us, and we stood there for a second, then I began to laugh, almost uncontrollably, Ajax followed into my laugh, and bellowed out how we will write our names in the stars! Kad was a crossbowman, and didn't do anything the entire fight except shoot the axewoman in the back of the head. Such a great night! Ajax said he even found a silver war hammer, but he would continue using the cleaver for now. We slept at a nearby town known as Hiplaud, and early in the morning we headed to Strappingeggs, reaching the fort at late day.
Ajax demanded to speak to the lord in charge, and he came out with a formal bedwear on, I had to kneel in his presense. “Whats with all the commotion, I'm Lord Adil Nomarihhi, and who the hell are you?!” he shouted, staring at Ajax shift around slightly. “I'm an axeman, seeking adventure and plunder. I have come to report the death of Egesh Worthin.” Ajax spoke clamly and dignified, and I saw him in a light I didn't see at both the battlesites and all the towns. Adil smiled and thanked Ajax, even offering him and his group a place to stay. Ajax agreed for us and asked the lord of any other jobs, but Adil scoffed him off, saying  that Ajax isn't nearly as strong or famous as needed for the Lord's help. Instead he told Ajax of a swordsman named Togi Nedorerab, who had a troglodyte he needed exterminating, and that was our next target. After speaking to Togi and getting him to join our group to seek the fiend, we recruited an axeman and another maceman, Ajax told us we will leave at sunrise.

That troglodyte is a dead fiend now that Ajax is after him. I'm hoping Perad continues to stay alive, as I want him to continue being the main narrator of the adventures of Ajax, also I hate crossbowmen and I hope Kad the crossbowman dies a painful death to make room for another soldier.

[Chilton]

I fell off a cliff and broke my legs, feet, and spine. Im still alive somehow 

[Uzu Bash]

The dragon was easier than I expected; snuck up and pounded her in the lung before she could get her firebreath off. And for that, I was asked to kill a titan. Really? After asking around the territory, I still didn't find enough potential shelters to get there and back. There's a whole dwarven sprawl along the way, but they don't have any doors to knock on.

I decided to circle around known civilization to see if another path presented itself, evicting night and semimega beasts from known lairs along the way. Managed to get iron greaves and boots in my size; which are only better than nothing because I can develop armor use skill with them. The closest stop from the edge of the forest was a temple that I would've known the resident of if I'd stopped to read instead of spamming the 'Surroundings' topic. But that was enough to make me curious, so I used a trail of lairs as stepping stones toward it.

Woops, my first colossus, and me barely armoured, barely skilled at shield, and without a good cleaving weapon. The whip broke him down as I expected, and at least I got that mastered. The pick appeared to be cracking his hide some more, but my skill increases started slowing down more than he was. I switched to copper dagger, and that finally took his head off with much less skill than I had in mining. I found lots of gold and a few shinies, but no useable loot.

A few more lairs lead in the direction of the titan, but not quite near enough. I may be painting myself into a corner, but I'm going to give it a try.

[GrizzlyAdamz]

Gl, those copper daggers are retarded.

I wouldn't worry too much, the last two titans I fought were made out of sand and steam, respectively.
/roundhouse kick > body
/done

[Uzu Bash]

I was more concerned about the boogeymen than the titan, they already killed three of my characters, so I was still pretty intimidated by them. They caught up to me just as I was getting close to the temple, and I ran until I smacked into one and accidentally killed him in one shot. So I circled around, kited the rest and gradually took them down with head and gutshots. I didn't know it could be done.

The titan itself was made of fire, down in one shot, and it burst into a cloud of flames that only got itself and the mountain of bodies around it. Made it kind of tricky to rescue those steel gauntlets. I guess I could've waited for the flames to die down, but -- no, hell no I couldn't. I made 'em mine. Still not well armoured, but at least no one will dismember my hands.

[GrizzlyAdamz]

I gather you adventure solo?

[Krath]

My group of 5 (Including me) were camping out in the wilderness between a town and a night creature's lair that the Lady of a castle send us to kill. I was a swordsman, we had two Pikemen, a Maceman, and a Spearman.

Now take note that one of the Pikemen (A female) and the maceman have been with me since the beginning of my adventure. The pikeman was permanently crippled in her left foot, but that never stopped her from moving as quickly as everyone else. The maceman had several kills to his name and the scars to show for it. Everyone else were recent addons to my group.

So we're camping out in the forest a day away from the lair. I wake up first and we're surrounded by bandits. Elven bandits. Curse them!

The first round of combat, before anyone is awake except me, an elven crossbowman snipes my Spearman in the head, instantly killing her. So everyone wakes up, the female pikeman goes southwest to engage a Wrestler and Spearman, the Maceman goes northwest to fight two swordsmen, and the male pikeman goes to fight the Master Lasher leader.

As you can guess, the male pikeman got lashed in the head and died instantly. The maceman, who was with me for so long, got murdered by the lasher as well before me and the pikeman could get there.

We both finish them off with no injuries and I cremate the corpses next to a burning ash tree.

Naturally, me and the pikewoman cut the night creature in half, report back to the castle, then murder the entire garrison in a fit of anger. Then we go to the nearest town and eradicate them all.

We're still traveling the land taking odd jobs and slaying anyone who dares to ambush us.

[ungulateman]

Apparently human farms bloom to life at certain times of the year. It's quite pretty.

My demigod ran out of things to kill and has acquired most of a set of armor. I retired, so I'll see what happens when I come back.

[AzureAngelic]

My newly-created hero was given the task of killing a jackass human Captain with a pike.

Upon striking down the pikeman, his second-hand man nailed me in the lung with a whip, putting me in mortal wound status. At the same time, two axemen, two crossbowmen, a maceman, a hammerman and another lasher surrounded me.

Lasher #1 has his left arm cut off and retreats.
Maceman is attacked in the leg, knocked down, and left to crawl away.
Crossbowman #1 shoots me from behind, embedding two silver bolts in me. I ignore him, and severely wound Lasher #2.
Axeman #1 and Crossbowman #2 attack at the same time. Axeman #1 has three of his limbs lopped off while Crossbowman #2 plants another four bolts in my back.
Maceman vomits.
Lasher #1 comes back as I cut off Crossbowman #2's leg.
Axeman #1 dies of blood loss.
Maceman gives in to pain.
Crossbowman #1 rushes me, and gets an axe to the torso in response.
Axeman #2 and Lasher #2 attack as Crossbowman #1 bleeds to death.
Lasher #2 gets an unlucky axe to the throat and dies.
Axeman #2 is knocked down and crawls away.
I rush Lasher #1 and finish him off.
Crossbowman #2 puts yet another bolt in me.
I walk up to Crossbowman #2 and slowly rip him apart.
Hammerman, who has been jacking off behind a tree all this time, runs up and hits me with a hammer.
I remove all of Hammerman's limbs, both his ears, one of his eyes, pop his guts out, and leave him to choke to death on his own blood.
Maceman comes back, takes a few glances at the battlefield, and promptly vomits to death.

End result: 9 dead humans. My hero has 7ish bolts in various parts of his body, a punctured lung, severe exhaustion, slashed up clothing, and several extra body parts.

Oh, and I set a chestnut tree on fire on top of the bodies, just to get the point across.

[Knigel]

Are bandit "bosses" (as opposed to masters, and some other titles) supposed to be strong? Because the one I was just stalking got killed by a camel while I was stalking her, which I then kill without it ever noticing me.

EDIT: If you plan on maining a bow or crossbow, forget about companions. They'll always ended up leading enemies straight to you.

[Bookdust]

In my experience Bosses and Ringleaders aren't much tougher then the regular schmucks they lead.

[Uzu Bash]

I'm getting more frequently ambushed by bandits who aren't even hostile. Guess it's just their way of saying hello. Since they aren't much challenge, I just exchange greetings and let them carry on with their lives of crime.

Well, except for one goblin chieftain; he was covered in so much masterwork I couldn't resist. And a masterwork iron whip! Silver is supposed to be better, but masterwork quality has to count for something. Besides, it menaced with spikes, so I just had to have it.

[GaxkangtheUnbound]

In my experience Bosses and Ringleaders aren't much tougher then the regular schmucks they lead.

My latest one was a recruit. Kicked his face in after I lost my arms.