Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Frogwarrior]

Thrun Blazecharm the Stirred Viper of Tops, human swordsman.
Humans have spread across the southern two-thirds of the world, and I hail from The Empires of Infamy, by far the largest of the two great human civs. We, and the human nation to the south, have all but exterminated goblins from the east side of the world, but in the west there is a mountain range in which four fortresses remain. I have taken it upon myself to storm these fortresses, killing all who oppose me and freeing the prisoners inside.
But not out of the good of my humanitarian heart, of course. No, the clothing and armor of my fallen foes has made me rich, even after purchasing the best in clothes. My very shield is decorated with masterfully worked crystal glass, and the money I have on hand is worth a king's ransom - even though I have recently stopped caring enough to loot my victims.
But my true motives are even less humanitarian. For as soon as I have freed the prisoners, I intend to take my gleaming armor and powerful two-handed sword to the depths of the world. But the children won't be coming with me. No, I'll be using them to distract a bronze colossus or two while I attempt to pulverize it into shiny powder. And, of course, after that fails, I'll just march right past it into the depths of the earth, there to slay the denizens within. (And, of course, savescum if it offs me :-P)

[Footkerchief]

Having killed dozens of underground creatures, swam the cavernous depths, received the hospitality of the Olm People, and nearly completed circling back to the cave entrance, I encountered a pack of naked mole dogs on a narrow ledge, dodged into thin air Looney Tunes style, and splashed all over the cavern floor.  That's the last time I forget to set my dodge preferences.

[Peasant]

recieved the hospitality of the Olm People.

Olm people! Olm people! Speak like olm, look like olm! Walk like olm!

[Footkerchief]

^^^ That made me laugh even though I feel like I'm missing a reference.

[Peasant]

^^^ That made me laugh even though I feel like I'm missing a reference.

Here you go. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tV5wmDhzgY8

[GaxkangtheUnbound]

My latest adventurer massacred a goblin tower, tossing the goblin corpses at the goblins, leading to mass death by corpse tossing. I even one-shotted a goblin with a corpse!

[Frogwarrior]

I completed storming all for goblin towers, rescuing a total of well over 50 children. The next step was to take my posse to the bronze colossus cave. Found the thing wandering outside, at which point my kids all charged at the thing. Naturally, they couldn't scratch it, but it tore some clothes off and was rendered harmless - until I, laying about at it with reckless abandon, shattered both hands, forcing it to drop the clothes and use its powerful kick to pulp all 50 of them. Meanwhile I'd gotten my sword skill pretty high whacking at it while it lay waste to my rescued children.

I think children are the new drunks.

Anyway, the sharpest cliff in the area is 4 z-levels, and with savescumming to get it to rush off the ledge after me I can only get it to break its hands off, so I think it's time for me and my 2 waterskins and 200 units of food to take this party to the underworld. Ciao!

[LASD]

For starters Alnos Handsevere (to-be named the Meandering Trouble), Dark Paladin, joined the church of Olin, the god of darkness and deformity and promptly gouged out the eyes of all of his priests to help them follow their own advice. Sadly the attempts at strengthening their faith caused three of them to jump into the central pool of their temple and drown. I guess they reached some kind of darkness that way too.

After escaping from the angry villagers Alnos arrived to an elven village conquered by dwarves, where he met a crazy administrator* who was clearly incapable of giving out jobs to do as he seemed to have forgotten where and who he is.

Having no heroic quest to do, Alnos decided to do the work of Olin and bring darkness to the elves of the south instead. Thirtysomething corpses later he came upon a lowly Fishery Worker. The battle raged on for a while, until the Paladin's morningstar got stuck in the elf's EYE. He twisted it off, but seeing how this poor thing had darkness brought upon him in the most gruesome way possible, considered the deed done and headed back north.


*A bug report has been filed

[Peasant]

After wiping out my home and all the kin living there, i got a badass scar. I don't mean "badass" as in tiny curving scar. I've got a MASSIVE curving scar in my left cheek. That was when i got a crossbow bolt straight to the face, which tore apart my whole left cheek. The skink demon master gave me a quest to kill a bronze colossus in a gave, i found the cave entrance nowhere so i climbed up a hill and kept jumping down. I had a permanently smashed open toe. From day to day i jumped down, sometimes having a bruised lung, sometimes having a bruised false rib, nothing serious. Until one day as i jumped down from one z-level higher than my previous (trying to set a record) i bruised both of my lungs. I couldn't breathe, i killed the cougar which pounced on me and i became a legendary axedwarf!

I suffocated a minute later.

[Pafferguy]

My human axeman (who I just started and haven't trained) CURBSTOMPED a DRAGON.  It charged at me and hit a tree, and while it was down I caused so much damage to its legs that it bled to death.  Arteries are fun!

[Eric Blank]

Just slaughtered at least half a human town, including a 12 game-hour battle with their monstrous law-maker whom i could barely scratch despite being a legendary swordsman, i was using a ranged weapon I had set to the sword skill, and only really killed it thanks to my legendary swordsman companion (and the useless dwarf spearman who refused to participate) and my switching to an axe, with zero training, accidentally walked into another, where I killed their mayor and promptly walked off to sleep in the forest. I'm so loaded down with loot I'm moving at just 217, with over 20300t's of junk, 20300 of which is the law-makers corpse, which i want to hang on my wall but just remembered I don't have any walls.

Now that I've started a war between my near-invincible succubi like creatures (soon to be nerfed somewhat.) and humans, goblins, and elves, I plan on Retiring and going through all the other races until everyone hates everyone, then start a fortress. I believe this will be extremely amusing.

[BodyGripper]

I was wondering around a Forest Retreat, trying to find the Elf Queen (to add her to the list of elves I had just slaughtered).  Suddenly, I got attacked by some kind of giant six-legged dinosaur (I want to say hadrosaurid?) that breathed poisonous vapor.  I killed it, but then I got dizzy and passed out... permanently. 

[Spiral42]

Just made a topic about my recent adventurer here, who was given a quest to murder a demon who happened to be standing right next to the quest-giver, and, when he complied, was decreed an enemy of the civilization and attacked by the very same quest giver. Turns out that not only was the demon the town drunk, it was also the town's law-maker. The hero now lives in exile amongst the dwarves in the south.

[Boingboingsplat]

Just made a topic about my recent adventurer here, who was given a quest to murder a demon who happened to be standing right next to the quest-giver, and, when he complied, was decreed an enemy of the civilization and attacked by the very same quest giver. Turns out that not only was the demon the town drunk, it was also the town's law-maker. The hero now lives in exile amongst the dwarves in the south.

I've been getting a ton of quests to kill this demon master guy, including from the same town. I'm going to go and kill it, but I'd rather not have all of human civilization wanting me dead. Oh well.

[Tinker Thinker]

After slaughtering the giants who had slain her predecessors, with only one brief foray to the surface to avoid dying from a mortal wound (funny how I survived that), I was given a great task: Slay this dragon over at this cave!

So, I decided that this adventurer was not going to be dragon kibble, and I slaughtered two towns, to train her mauling skills, and then I spent ages wandering the wild, intentionally being mauled by leopards and cougars to train my defensive abilities.
I'll let that sink in for a moment.

Now, I have arrived at The Dread Dragon Sometthingorother's cavern, and am searching its vast expanses fruitlessly for the great beast. I'm rather irritated (I've gotten hopelessly lost in a cave before, which was nearly fatal but for jumping into occasionally water sources and draining precious water from my clothes, so I don't much like wandering in caverns).

Correction: Found the dragon on the surface after my third rest session, my first hit disabled it, and several blows later I jammed its skull through its brain. Total injury to self: None.