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[The Architect]

Really, really bad syntax is the reason for your confusion. I'll go fix that right now so that it's more easily understood.

[assimilateur]

Makes sense now. Your post originally equated "normal person" with "someone consumed (...)", which was all sorts of crazy.

[Hyndis]

Makes sense now. Your post originally equated "normal person" with "someone consumed (...)", which was all sorts of crazy.

Fell mood?

Obviously more mist generators are needed in the dining room.

[Rolan7]

Makes sense now. Your post originally equated "normal person" with "someone consumed (...)", which was all sorts of crazy.

Fell mood?

Obviously more mist generators are needed in the dining room.

No worries, I've hooked it up now!
Hey wait, this is the water tunnel... not connected to anything... so what liquid did I hook up to the dining ro-
!!FUN!!

[Hyndis]

Oh, back to the topic of the nobles and hammerer sealed into a vault...

Yes you do need a captain of the guard to enable the dwarven injustice system. Without it the hammerer does nothing at all.

My captain of the guard is a fisherdwarf that was mauled by a cave crocodile.

He is missing both legs, his left arm, right hand, both eyes, and his brain and liver were nibbled upon before he was rescued by the military after they finished up with naptime.

The hammerer also springs into action only if the captain of the guard or other regular fortress guards are unable to deliver beatings.

Thus, with the captain of the guard being basically just a torso on a bed, he is unavailable to dispense beatings, and so the hammerer becomes enraged by this, beating the children of the count, countess, and tax collector to death.

The hammerer therefore punishes the nobles by slaughtering their children in front of them as punishment for issuing mandates.

Sweet, sweet dwarven justice.   

[Sphalerite]

That would take care of the problem.

Although it would also be hilarious for a child of the nobles, mangled and permanently crippled in bed, to be elected mayor.

As a thought - do you every have problems with diplomats leaving unhappy because they can't reach meet with your duke/baron/count or whatever?  Although if you were really concerned you could place a thin wall, since I think they only need to get within a few squares to meet.

[Hyndis]

The diplomats helpfully tested my splatter trap.

They no longer leave the map unhappy.   

[Naes Draw]

The diplomats helpfully tested my splatter trap.

They no longer leave the map unhappy.   

Perhaps due to the fact that they don't leave?

[assimilateur]

Perhaps due to the fact that they don't leave?

Thank you for explaining the joke to us.

[Naes Draw]

Yeah. Kinda tired, don't mind me. 

[darkflagrance]

That would take care of the problem.

Although it would also be hilarious for a child of the nobles, mangled and permanently crippled in bed, to be elected mayor.

As a thought - do you every have problems with diplomats leaving unhappy because they can't reach meet with your duke/baron/count or whatever?  Although if you were really concerned you could place a thin wall, since I think they only need to get within a few squares to meet.

I think this actually happened in Blockedlance, or another community game, where the player was murdering one of his 'noble families' and near the end the position was being bounced around that family's last couple of members, resulting in the election of a guy who had just been horribly mauled and was confined to bed, and died of thirst afterwards.

[Sphalerite]

I think this actually happened in Blockedlance, or another community game, where the player was murdering one of his 'noble families' and near the end the position was being bounced around that family's last couple of members, resulting in the election of a guy who had just been horribly mauled and was confined to bed, and died of thirst afterwards.

I've had it happen in my own games.  In an especially Fun fortress on a haunted mountain children were helping deconstruct temporary scaffolding outside.  A skeletal giant eagle descended from the sky, killed two children and horribly maimed a third before the military could destroy it.  While waiting for rescue, the child turned 12.  While being carried to bed, he was elected mayor.  The trade rep spent years standing by his bed waiting for him to recover enough for a meeting.

[NW_Kohaku]

A strange bear enters the map....

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

RAISE THE DRAWBRIDGE!

Oh, so THAT'S what the [snatcher] tag is all about.

Hmm... and the children that get snatched all go ecstatic about it, being "glad to be free", as well...

----

Also, hooray for a random side comment in the first page suddenly flaring up again in an argument for why it's totally legit to marry 12-year-olds, and the "hypocrisy" of a youth-centric, sex-fueled culture's imposed limits on sexuality.

[Aspgren]

Dwarven children who immigrate can reach maturity at incredibly low ages. (due to some bug)

Nothing like a 9 year old champion and father of three amiright?

[assimilateur]

Dwarven children who immigrate can reach maturity at incredibly low ages. (due to some bug)

Nothing like a 9 year old champion and father of three amiright?

Are you sure that's what you're seeing? Immigrant children can be of a random age below 12, meaning that someone one matured 3 years after reaching your fort had been 9 when they reached you.

Or do you mean you actually saw immigrant babies who then matured earlier than expected?