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[Blackburn]

...aaaaand now I'm imagining an ancient, wrinkly, leather-skinned she-dwarf going up to a mini dwarf and saying "I hope you brought your pick, because I've got a shaft that needs digging."

ewwwwww.

STOP HURTING MY MIND.

[Don Blake]

Don't forget cradle-robbing goes both ways in this game.  A 100-year-old female can start a relationship with a 2-year-old boy, and wind up marrying him almost as soon as he hits 12 years old if they have enough time spent bonding together, and children often have time for bonding.

edit: responding to Don Blake:

Then why do Humans have 12 years old, as well?

Humans in this game also have no adolescence and reproduce by spores, no?

[darkrider2]

...aaaaand now I'm imagining an ancient, wrinkly, leather-skinned she-dwarf going up to a mini dwarf and saying "I hope you brought your pick, because I've got a shaft that needs digging."

ewwwwww.

STOP HURTING MY MIND.

I'm finding that when reading the DF forums I've grown accustomed to having a bucket of brain bleach under my chair.

[Blackburn]

...aaaaand now I'm imagining an ancient, wrinkly, leather-skinned she-dwarf going up to a mini dwarf and saying "I hope you brought your pick, because I've got a shaft that needs digging."

ewwwwww.

STOP HURTING MY MIND.

I'm finding that when reading the DF forums I've grown accustomed to having a bucket of brain bleach under my chair.

Wal-Mart doesn't sell Brain Bleach so I'm not so lucky.

[shadowform]

...aaaaand now I'm imagining an ancient, wrinkly, leather-skinned she-dwarf going up to a mini dwarf and saying "I hope you brought your pick, because I've got a shaft that needs digging."

ewwwwww.

Knowing dwarves, he would probably immediately channel the ground out from underneath her and happily walk away while she starved in a hole.

[silverskull39]

...aaaaand now I'm imagining an ancient, wrinkly, leather-skinned she-dwarf going up to a mini dwarf and saying "I hope you brought your pick, because I've got a shaft that needs digging."

ewwwwww.

Knowing dwarves, he would probably immediately channel the ground out from underneath her and happily walk away while she starved in a hole.

or so you'd think, but then, just before she gives in to starvation, you'd get this message;

"Urist McUgly has given birth to a boy!"

[Sensei]

If you think this is bad, you're forgetting the goblin fortress thread...

[Mr. Penguin]

Quick, someone push the self destruct button before things get worse!

[darkrider2]

If you think this is bad, you're forgetting the goblin fortress thread...

That's when I started keeping brain bleach nearby. oh... THE HORROR.

[Cypress]

You're all forgetting, and I refuse to acknowledge that this works any other way:
Dwarves mate by spores. I pray that doesn't require much physical contact.

[NW_Kohaku]

Don't you know that civ species have special spore-protection that prevents them from getting pregnant until they are married?

There is a special spore-sac alignment ritual that goes along with marriage, and yes, that does involve PLENTY of intimate contact. 

[Retro]

Interesting! ( Sphalerite's theory, not all the disgusting mating conversation :[ )

Makes a whole bunch of sense. Consort killing certainly sounds like the best solution for a populous fort; personally I just keep the child cap at an absolute of 1. It allows you to actually be fond of the little tyke for his uniqueness. I guess also there's always recruiting every noble kid into the military/guard/royal guard when they grow up.

[Sphalerite]

I have now managed to put the countess-consort in suspended animation.  Amusingly, the baby she was carrying at the time is also suspended with her.

I will be very interested in seeing if being stuck airborne will prevent the baby from growing into a child.

[darkrider2]

There is a special spore-sac alignment ritual that goes along with marriage, and yes, that does involve PLENTY of intimate contact.

someone should mod the spore-sac to be a body part...

[arghy]

An active military defense would fix all of this. Mod in orks, dont ever use traps besides a few cage traps and use military dwarves to repel every siege! My fort populations are always well controlled because every siege i lose half my military and every child is viewed as meat for the meat grinder.