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[Leafsnail]

Do you... not get human contact while studying?  Just curious, is all.  I mean, do you go to lectures or meetings, or do you just spend the time reading up on your books?  It could be good to meet like minded people... although I'm not sure what it's like in your area.  I have a somewhat warped perception of this as I live in Cambridge, which has a lot of this kind of thing.

[Solifuge]

^ Pretty much that.  When I came out of general anesthesia after having my wisdom teeth removed, the following ensued:

1. Screaming
2. Vivid hallucinations
3. Randomly speaking in English and Japanese
4. Writing proofs that the universe was not, in fact, about to disappear (that would be why I had been screaming).

The above is pretty much "Vector's mental functioning when all the self-control systems have been removed."  I feel so freaking sorry for my mom sometimes ._.

I recorded an embarrassing video of myself for posterity, when I was doped, post-wisdom-teeth removal. Most of what I remember is my mother cracking up at me, as I was trying to convince her that I could drive us home... and was entirely confident and serious about that fact, as I staggered to maintain my balance, with those ridiculous roll-up shades they give you to keep the light from blinding you.


On to relevant stuff: I really do hope that you can sort this out. You're awfully bright, in that "On the Precipice of Madness" way that a lot of highly intelligent people through history have been... but do be sure to take the best care of yourself as possible. Like Dak said, you are indeed not just a mind, but also a person attached to that mind, who has a lot of other requirements. Human contact is pretty important, since we are still ultimately social creatures.

Given the nature of the material you're studying, I have a feeling its not the sort of thing you could go over with someone else, but perhaps you might look into finding classmates to study with? Even if just to compare answers, share notes, etc. it might help you to fit both in. Arguably a better option, and a great way I found to get grounded, when I was busy with work and school, was to join clubs or groups that interested me. Once-a-week things like that helped me meet like-minded people, and have a good break from busyness. One of the best parts was that the schedules are regular, and usually fixed, so it made it easy to set aside time for it!

Just do your best to keep things in balance, and take care of the needs of other parts of you aside from your brain.

[dakarian]

^ The food part used to be me, too, until I realized I'd rather be capable of more than 3 hours of hard thinking >_>  And yeah, I'm trying to work around my brain, though I'm not at all accustomed to needing to go out of my way for socializing.  This is pretty much the first time in my life when I've really wanted to talk to people.

Perhaps it's a setup.  You're made to socialize so that you can use what you know and who you are for those other people.

I mean, we don't learn our skills just to waste them within ourselves.  We learn them so that it can affect others. 

Sidenote: It might help to know that not everyone HAS to be a close friend.  Most people will remain acquaintences (say hi to, answer a question or two, actually give half a care if they were about to fall off a ledge) and many others will be only in a part of your life (i.e. people you work with, people you go out to get something to eat with-if you're in college you SHOULD have this.  I was probably more anti-social in college than ANY of you THINK you are and I at least had this-, so on.. they don't understand other parts of you but that's ok), and at best one or two who know about most of you (and it's common not to have this one for very long periods unless you pull a stunt like I did and married that person )

Besides, going out and meeting folks helps you eventually learn how little power people have over your life.  Just like your mind, they are powerful but even the worst asshole is NOT a part of you and, beyond being annoying, they cannot change who you really are unless you let them (note: your physical self isn't 'you' either, just a sort of 'computer' you use to access RL). 

As far as mafia, feel free to do as you wish including the occasional post.  Do NOT let Mafia get in the way of your studies.  We'll hold the fort fine while you're gone. 

Hah, Mafia's not getting in the way of my studies at all.  I'm pulling down straight A's >_>  It's more that I need to spend some time fixing my mental health, because I seem to be heading into the crazy zone again at full speed (I play terrible Mafia when I'm crazy, anyway, so it's not like y'all are missing out on anything).

Meanwhile, just remember that though your mind really is powerful (those that say "Oh it's all in your head.  Get over it" really need a SLAP in the face.  That's like saying "It's just pneumonia, get over it!" but even more silly.) you are NOT your mind and, in the end, you DON'T have to stand for it's BS.

Yeah, I'm trying... as someone told me, I'm currently getting screwed over by the echochamber effect.  I need to get some people to compare against myself and give me some external input, or I'm going to hit a nasty tantrum spiral.

On the other hand, I know why I did this to myself, and it had to be done.  I've learned with absolute certainty that I can't wall myself off from the rest of humanity, no matter how much I want to... so no matter how much of a pain everyone is, I'm stuck firmly by the side of the human race forever.  Ah, well.  It's a hell of a lot better than being alone.
[/quote]

[RedWarrior0]

You missed a quote tag there.

[ToonyMan]

You missed a quote tag there.
[/quote]

^This^

[CobaltKobold]

Yeah--I went in for emergency counseling yesterday, but in general my parents are extremely anti-therapist.  When I went last year, they made fun of me and tried to bully me into quitting every time I finished a session. 

That's no good.

^ Pretty much that.  When I came out of general anesthesia after having my wisdom teeth removed, the following ensued:

Reportedly the first thing I said coming out was "May the force be with you."

Then I tried asking if they'd taped the surgery. Apparently not too clearly, they didn't understand me. Then I tried writing a note asking multiple questions including that.

It's a miracle if you can read it.

or I'm going to hit a nasty tantrum spiral.

Did you start playing DF then?[/quote]

I'm stuck firmly by the side of the human race forever.  Ah, well.  It's a hell of a lot better than being alone.

Do you... not get human contact while studying?  Just curious, is all.  I mean, do you go to lectures or meetings, or do you just spend the time reading up on your books?  It could be good to meet like minded people... although I'm not sure what it's like in your area.  I have a somewhat warped perception of this as I live in Cambridge, which has a lot of this kind of thing.

Oh, hey! Do you[/did you] go to That Other Institute of Technology?

Do what you need to Vector. Only you know how to live your life.

Just know that we care about you.

Yes/no/yes.

[Vector]

Bah, I figured I'd better finally reply to this stuff.

Do you... not get human contact while studying?  Just curious, is all.  I mean, do you go to lectures or meetings, or do you just spend the time reading up on your books?  It could be good to meet like minded people... although I'm not sure what it's like in your area.  I have a somewhat warped perception of this as I live in Cambridge, which has a lot of this kind of thing.

So, mathematics is one of those weird things when it comes to studying.  Most other areas encourage group work and cooperation, and so on, but math is exactly the opposite: professors tell you that if you have a question you need to go resolve it yourself, and that you must absolutely not talk about the problem sets with other people.  The result is that one generally spends an extremely large amount of time alone with one's textbooks.

Additionally, lecture is not exactly a good source of socializing and so on.  I can't call listening to a professor talk about a subject at length really "social interaction;" it's about as socially interactive as watching a video or listening to two other people have a conversation.

On to relevant stuff: I really do hope that you can sort this out. You're awfully bright, in that "On the Precipice of Madness" way that a lot of highly intelligent people through history have been... but do be sure to take the best care of yourself as possible. Like Dak said, you are indeed not just a mind, but also a person attached to that mind, who has a lot of other requirements. Human contact is pretty important, since we are still ultimately social creatures.

Given the nature of the material you're studying, I have a feeling its not the sort of thing you could go over with someone else, but perhaps you might look into finding classmates to study with? Even if just to compare answers, share notes, etc. it might help you to fit both in. Arguably a better option, and a great way I found to get grounded, when I was busy with work and school, was to join clubs or groups that interested me. Once-a-week things like that helped me meet like-minded people, and have a good break from busyness. One of the best parts was that the schedules are regular, and usually fixed, so it made it easy to set aside time for it!

Yeah, I'm trying really hard to sort everything out.  It's just that there's so much of it to keep track of, so it seems like something ends up inevitably slipping.  I need to figure out some kind of schedule that makes it so that everything gets done and stuff stops falling through the holes all the time.  At least backing off from playing so many Mafia games seems to have helped a whole lot as far as my stress level and so on.

And yes, don't worry.  I started getting a lot of people to work on hard problems with me and talk about all kinds of things over the past couple of weeks, and I also found out that the math club keeps a stock of some of my favorite card games 24/7.  Further, there's a boardgame/cardgame club which also seems to run in my taste, so I might try that out some evening when I have too much time.

Sidenote: It might help to know that not everyone HAS to be a close friend.  Most people will remain acquaintences (say hi to, answer a question or two, actually give half a care if they were about to fall off a ledge) and many others will be only in a part of your life (i.e. people you work with, people you go out to get something to eat with-if you're in college you SHOULD have this.  I was probably more anti-social in college than ANY of you THINK you are and I at least had this-, so on.. they don't understand other parts of you but that's ok), and at best one or two who know about most of you (and it's common not to have this one for very long periods unless you pull a stunt like I did and married that person )

I didn't really have anyone around here I spoke to on a regular basis (i.e. someone to eat meals with) until this semester or so, but yes--I realize what you mean.  It can be kind of depressing when most of your social interactions are telling people precisely why they're wrong at volume, but I think that's one of those things I just need to get used to.

or I'm going to hit a nasty tantrum spiral.

Did you start playing DF then?

Nope, I just have a friend who talks/talked about it a lot =)



Anyway, I'm locking this thread up now.  Hopefully it will never open again--and thanks very much to everyone for both your sage advice and kind words.  They were very much appreciated.