Are young men seriously this bad? Seriously? I am deeply saddened.
Don't misjudge me. I'm all for loving, supporting relationships. But at a young age, this really shouldn't be what people focus on. I speak a lot from my own personal experience and view of this, it is true. I'm traditionally the giver in relationships, providing a lot of emotional support and being a great boyfriend who supports his girlfriend's needs and dreams, etc. etc., but it doesn't actually have much benefit for you after the relationship fizzles on the woman's account.
I've been in Rilder's position, where I have had to listen to my girlfriends (I use plural, but they were never at the same time. I don't want to use this thread to weigh in on things like swinging, so I won't voice any opinion on it at all. I mean girlfriends in the context of actually being in a committed relationship) complain about their ex-boyfriends all the time. In fact, I've never had a girlfriend who didn't. Sometimes, I think it was a bit of a shock to them when I took them on real dates at fancy restaurants, and plays, and that sort of thing.
By being a good, supportive boyfriend, however, you get a chance to look at a relationship beyond common stereotypes and prejudices of men being sex-hungry mainiacs and women being chaste, reasonable souls. Again, this is just my own personal experience, but women always seem to have larger libidos than I do. I am of the opinion that it is only our socially constructed norms that make us think that women want sex any less than men do. These same social constructions (again, in my opinion, and feel free to add this addendum to any future statement I make in this thread) are what makes it more acceptable for men to openly state their desires.
So when I say that youth is the time for manwhorishness, I'm saying, in a tongue-in-cheek way, that getting worked up over being in love with somebody isn't worth it. In fact, young men between the ages of 18-22 (a figure I'm pulling from memory, but roughly around there) are going through their sexual prime, and it's probably psychologically important for them to be actively seeking sexual relations rather than trying to start up families and romantic futures for themselves, cultural and religious factors notwithstanding.
People on online forums give a lot of advice like "It's just lust, ignore it" (which would apply to this thread, except the OP is asking more about what he can do to salvage his friendship with the girl, and holding out that there's a way to still date her), but I would go the other way and say "Yes, it's lust, so act on it". It's offensive to women to assume that trying to date them for physical reasons is always against their interests. Women have lustful feelings too, and deserve the opportunity to act on them. So long as everything you do is safe and consensual, and both parties know where you stand in the relationship, it is still perfectly healthy. In my view, he would be better off focusing his attentions on another girl, since he's grown too emotionally attached to this one (and she to him), and it is only stressful in the long run.
Jude: He didn't directly break up his friend's relationship. At least not on purpose. Rereading the OP implies that somebody else went and told his friend, causing the break up. High school drama at its best. I would agree that if he had gone and directly broken them up, that would be a dick thing to do, and definitely lynch-worthy.
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Topic: Girl Problems... (Read 8009 times)