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Author Topic: I feel so violated. And weirded out.  (Read 3915 times)

Akigagak

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Re: I feel so violated. And weirded out.
« Reply #30 on: March 03, 2010, 07:27:45 pm »

Man-bear trap?
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But then, life was also easier when I was running around here pretending to be a man, so I guess I should just "man up" and get back to work.
This is mz poetrz, it is mz puyyle.

Strife26

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Re: I feel so violated. And weirded out.
« Reply #31 on: March 03, 2010, 07:34:50 pm »

I'm totally not on any watch lists for owning several books on man-traps.

Carefully hides book under pillow . . .

They do exist though. See: Booby Traps.


I rather use claymores though.
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Duke 2.0

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Re: I feel so violated. And weirded out.
« Reply #32 on: March 03, 2010, 07:39:26 pm »

 People, Aqizzar just needs deterrents. Bear-traps? Mines? these are designed to kill. What we need are non-lethal methods of keeping intruders from crapping on your stuff.

 We need to call in Macaulay Culkin.
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Buck up friendo, we're all on the level here.
I would bet money Andrew has edited things retroactively, except I can't prove anything because it was edited retroactively.
MIERDO MILLAS DE VIBORAS FURIOSAS PARA ESTRANGULARTE MUERTO

Strife26

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Re: I feel so violated. And weirded out.
« Reply #33 on: March 03, 2010, 07:41:02 pm »

Hedgehogs and razor wire maybe?
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LegoLord

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Re: I feel so violated. And weirded out.
« Reply #34 on: March 03, 2010, 07:41:35 pm »

Non-lethal?  Well, that rules out using William Hung.

Edit:  Adorable pic below just made my day.
« Last Edit: March 03, 2010, 07:45:27 pm by LegoLord »
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"Oh look there is a dragon my clothes might burn let me take them off and only wear steel plate."
And this is how tinned food was invented.
Alternately: The Brick Testament. It's a really fun look at what the bible would look like if interpreted literally. With Legos.
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Vector

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Re: I feel so violated. And weirded out.
« Reply #35 on: March 03, 2010, 07:43:43 pm »

Hedgehogs and razor wire maybe?

Hedgehogs.  Do this.  So much adorable.

Spoiler: Kyaaaaa ~ (click to show/hide)
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"The question of the usefulness of poetry arises only in periods of its decline, while in periods of its flowering, no one doubts its total uselessness." - Boris Pasternak

nonbinary/genderfluid/genderqueer renegade mathematician and mafia subforum limpet. please avoid quoting me.

pronouns: prefer neutral ones, others are fine. height: 5'3".

JoshuaFH

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Re: I feel so violated. And weirded out.
« Reply #36 on: March 03, 2010, 07:44:52 pm »

I don't think it's possible to train hedgehogs into being kamikaze spike traps that throw themselves under the bare feet of intruders.
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Vector

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Re: I feel so violated. And weirded out.
« Reply #37 on: March 03, 2010, 07:46:26 pm »

I don't think it's possible to train hedgehogs into being kamikaze spike traps that throw themselves under the bare feet of intruders.

... Video game idea!  Hedgehog Rancher!

Spoiler: Also, what the hell... (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: March 03, 2010, 07:48:21 pm by Vector »
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"The question of the usefulness of poetry arises only in periods of its decline, while in periods of its flowering, no one doubts its total uselessness." - Boris Pasternak

nonbinary/genderfluid/genderqueer renegade mathematician and mafia subforum limpet. please avoid quoting me.

pronouns: prefer neutral ones, others are fine. height: 5'3".

Akigagak

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Re: I feel so violated. And weirded out.
« Reply #38 on: March 03, 2010, 07:49:09 pm »

I don't think it's possible to train hedgehogs into being kamikaze spike traps that throw themselves under the bare feet of intruders.
I suppose the trick is making sure they don't leap under the feet of anyone wearing shoes.
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But then, life was also easier when I was running around here pretending to be a man, so I guess I should just "man up" and get back to work.
This is mz poetrz, it is mz puyyle.

Armok

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Re: I feel so violated. And weirded out.
« Reply #39 on: March 03, 2010, 07:50:17 pm »

Personally, I'd just go for PET bottles  with something that irritates skin (causes itching, blisters, or the like. should be a few cheap such things at home, but I'm not sure which is the best.) in them, pumped up with high pressure air to JUST below bursting, and with some mechanism to puncture them...
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So says Armok, God of blood.
Sszsszssoo...
Sszsszssaaayysss...
III...

Aqizzar

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Re: I feel so violated. And weirded out.
« Reply #40 on: March 03, 2010, 07:50:58 pm »

I don't think it's possible to train hedgehogs into being kamikaze spike traps that throw themselves under the bare feet of intruders.

The solution is obvious: more hedgehogs.  Enough that an intruder can't help but step on them.  And some beehives hanging from quick-release latches, for immediate deployment.

I'm not entirely sure all of you really understand what happened in my yard.  He wasn't taking a dump.  The magazine wasn't light reading material.  He was pantless with a magazine (in my yard) for a different reason.
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And here is where my beef pops up like a looming awkward boner.
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Vector

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Re: I feel so violated. And weirded out.
« Reply #41 on: March 03, 2010, 07:53:45 pm »

I'm not entirely sure all of you really understand what happened in my yard.  He wasn't taking a dump.  The magazine wasn't light reading material.  He was pantless with a magazine (in my yard) for a different reason.

..................................... Grossness.  Now I understand even less =/
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"The question of the usefulness of poetry arises only in periods of its decline, while in periods of its flowering, no one doubts its total uselessness." - Boris Pasternak

nonbinary/genderfluid/genderqueer renegade mathematician and mafia subforum limpet. please avoid quoting me.

pronouns: prefer neutral ones, others are fine. height: 5'3".

JoshuaFH

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Re: I feel so violated. And weirded out.
« Reply #42 on: March 03, 2010, 07:54:08 pm »

I don't know what to say Aqizzar, maybe he was an overweight Raiden that had escaped from your neighbor's torture chamber?
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Org

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Re: I feel so violated. And weirded out.
« Reply #43 on: March 03, 2010, 07:55:21 pm »

Oh god.
He was doing that in YOUR YARD?

...
I would have followed him home, and done that in HIS YARD.

Or killed him. That works too.
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Strife26

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Re: I feel so violated. And weirded out.
« Reply #44 on: March 03, 2010, 07:55:34 pm »

By hedgehog, I was referring to

Razor wire (imagine barbed wire as a great level wrestler. Razor wire is either the Captain, or Morul):


I got what you were talking about, Aqizzar.


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