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[Aqizzar]

1.  Go to the store
2.  Buy one of these.
3.  Smack him in the head with it.
4. 
5.  Profit!

I already own plenty of objects and implements both blunt and sharp.  No extra purchases necessary.

[Strife26]

My shotgun is just propped up by the backdoor, while my .22 is hidden behind a painting of my namesake in my bedroom. I figure that they're both accessible enough.

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

Plant landmines in your lawn.

[ToonyMan]

Solution?

Be Andrew Hussie.

[Solifuge]

That's pretty wierd. I admit, I was expecting something arguably worse than taking a dump when I saw the words "Magazine" and "No Pants", but either way that's pretty gross/bizzzre/nasty/redneck.

I'm usually not one for threats, but how else do you deal with crap like that? It's like a breach in the unwritten social code most people learn as kids. Suppose there's nothing innately wrong with it, but it's still damned nasty. There's a time and a place, and it isn't in a stranger's back yard.

But hey, if nothing else, it's something that will stay in your mind forever! Think of the memories!

[Jreengus]

I think Aqizzar simply misunderstood his intentions. Clearly he decided that as his good deed for the day he would help someone by fertilizing their garden. There was no need to get so threatening he was trying to help you

[Akroma]

suddenly, landmines don't seem like such a silly idea anymore, huh?

[Akigagak]

I'll agree with Jude, and say this nutter was probably high.

[Euld]

That guy's McDonald's must have closed down.  Probably his own source of food and only place to dump 

[cowofdoom78963]

suddenly, landmines don't seem like such a silly idea anymore, huh?

Beartraps are more humane.

Also they wouldn't cause collateral damage.

[Akigagak]

You could argue that instant death is more humane then breaking and trapping their leg in a spring-loaded metal mouth.

[ToonyMan]

You could argue that instant death is more humane then breaking and trapping their leg in a spring-loaded metal mouth.

Bear traps don't break legs, stupid movies.

[JoshuaFH]

You could argue that instant death is more humane then breaking and trapping their leg in a spring-loaded metal mouth.

Bear traps don't break legs, stupid movies.

Yeah, seeing as how bear traps are built to handle bears, I'd guess an actual one would chomp off a foot in a single clean motion.

[Duke 2.0]

You could argue that instant death is more humane then breaking and trapping their leg in a spring-loaded metal mouth.

Bear traps don't break legs, stupid movies.

Yeah, seeing as how bear traps are built to handle bears, I'd guess an actual one would chomp off a foot in a single clean motion.

I'm sure you could get human designed bear-traps.

[Org]

You could argue that instant death is more humane then breaking and trapping their leg in a spring-loaded metal mouth.

Bear traps don't break legs, stupid movies.

Yeah, seeing as how bear traps are built to handle bears, I'd guess an actual one would chomp off a foot in a single clean motion.

I'm sure you could get human designed bear-traps.

...a human-trap?