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Author Topic: Elven Diplomat Offering Congratulations?  (Read 16535 times)

noodle0117

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Re: Elven Diplomat Offering Congratulations?
« Reply #60 on: July 09, 2010, 06:10:25 am »

OOH OOH! I thought of something else!

What's the fun in just knowing that somewhere, an elf is crying tears of maddening psychological torment?  We all know it's FAR more enjoyable to actually be there to not just revel in their pain, but point and laugh while you're at it!

This is why I really hope we get some kind of "arena" meeting zone setup, but anyway...

When you make the walls of this place out of glass, set up multiple chairs (and maybe tables), and place your booze stockpiles around this pit.  That way, whenever your dwarves need to get a drink and relax, they can be entertained by the unending torment of the elves on the other side of the glass walls.  You can even make it your dining room, with every table facing the elves's agony, like some kind of high-class restraunt with a massive aquarium.  Only it's an aquarium filled with vomit, rotting carcasses, blood, incest, elf skull totems, dead trees, elf babies being carted away for slaughter, and elves pleading to Gods who are likely laughing at them as hard as your dwarves are.
I'm trying to think of more ways to be even crueller than the stuff I've already thought of... but it's pretty hard.

Here's what else I've got:

Make another chamber near the first one, with all glass windows so that everyone, Dwarf and Elf alike can watch... make it like the "Goblin Repeater" setup, with another door controlled by lever remotely that lets someone into that chamber, then close it behind them.  Preferably one of the children spawned inside the fortress.  The "bait" will just be an exit off of this God-forsaken Hell-hole you have stuck them in, which should be plenty enough.  Now then, instead of just having a repeater that keeps changing something back and forth, put a couple wooden scourge traps in there.

Hopefully, this will allow a child to smell a whiff of that sweet, blissful thing called "freedom" for the first time in their life, and they will make a mad dash for the door.  They will brave any scourging for a chance at escape, and run straight through that thrashing time and again, only to see the door slam shut right in their faces every time, and the pointing and laughing of dwarves on their drink breaks taking bets on how many "laps" they can complete, and their parents watch, crying as the runner slowly gets flogged to death, knowing nothing of peace or dignity for their entire miserable, yet blissfully short lives.

It's crueller to give them hope when we all know that there is none.

This guy scares me :o
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Josephus

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Re: Elven Diplomat Offering Congratulations?
« Reply #61 on: July 09, 2010, 07:19:16 am »

I'm trying to think of more ways to be even crueller than the stuff I've already thought of... but it's pretty hard.

Here's what else I've got:

Make another chamber near the first one, with all glass windows so that everyone, Dwarf and Elf alike can watch... make it like the "Goblin Repeater" setup, with another door controlled by lever remotely that lets someone into that chamber, then close it behind them.  Preferably one of the children spawned inside the fortress.  The "bait" will just be an exit off of this God-forsaken Hell-hole you have stuck them in, which should be plenty enough.  Now then, instead of just having a repeater that keeps changing something back and forth, put a couple wooden scourge traps in there.

Hopefully, this will allow a child to smell a whiff of that sweet, blissful thing called "freedom" for the first time in their life, and they will make a mad dash for the door.  They will brave any scourging for a chance at escape, and run straight through that thrashing time and again, only to see the door slam shut right in their faces every time, and the pointing and laughing of dwarves on their drink breaks taking bets on how many "laps" they can complete, and their parents watch, crying as the runner slowly gets flogged to death, knowing nothing of peace or dignity for their entire miserable, yet blissfully short lives.

It's crueller to give them hope when we all know that there is none.

... Hmm... I think I might need help from this point on.  As much as it scares me to say it, I think at this point, I'm about evilled out.  Can someone post some good automated torture device ideas?

You are pure fucking evil, you know that? Kudos.
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i had the elves bring me two tigermen, although i forgot to let them out of the cage and they died : ( i was sad : (

Zaerosz

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Re: Elven Diplomat Offering Congratulations?
« Reply #62 on: July 09, 2010, 10:27:25 pm »

I love this place so much.
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elwessweettea

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Re: Elven Diplomat Offering Congratulations?
« Reply #63 on: July 10, 2010, 12:54:00 am »

I am almost certain that elves base their estimates off what you cut, not what's in your stockpiles, and that this has been so since at least 40d. Is there any empirical evidence either way, or just old dwarves' tales?

Second, man, here's to all the elvish players out there like me who don't torture and don't kill :)
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